Joely Sue Burkhart

Do You Know the Secret?

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There’s a lot of buzz right now about positive thinking and how visualizing your success will attract positive energy to you. If you dream it, you can achieve it!

But you know what? No amount of visualizing your book on a shelf in Barnes & Noble is going to make that dream come true if you don’t do the work.

Butt in chair. Every single day. Writing.

Writing is a long, hard journey, though. Some days, the dream just isn’t enough to keep us toiling up that gloomy mountain. Instead of throwing our characters to the wolves, those wolves are chasing us. We walk in the Valley of the Shadow of Death with no hope in sight. Doubts assail us on all sides, and the last thing we want to face is that blank page. Some common dark moments we face:

* Rejections stacked in the mail or in box.
* Proposals ignored, buried, or shot down.
* Editors leaving for new lines, houses, or publishing entirely.
* Agent neglect.
* Poor sales.
* Scathing—or sometimes worse, indifferent—reviews.
* No new contracts.

Where’s your positive thinking now?

It’s hard to be positive when slogging through the same scene for days. When constructing every sentence is excruciating. When you’re paralyzed with fear. When you’re bleeding on the page and the damned book just won’t cooperate.

There is a secret to surviving these dark moments. It’s not a magic pill. Dream Agent won’t suddenly call on a whim, drawn by mysterious positive ions. Multi-book contracts won’t magically fall on your doorstep. But if you know the secret—really know it deep in your heart—then these dark moments will not be able to destroy your dream to write.

Are you ready for the secret?

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

*crickets chirping*

What? Didn’t I just say that positive thinking wasn’t enough?

It’s not. But the mind is an amazing thing, and if you believe in yourself, nothing can stop you from accomplishing your work. If you allow doubts to crawl in—and negative self-talk to slowly destroy your vision—then it’s much easier to allow the dark moment to suck you down to despair. If you’re in the Valley and all you’ve seen is rain and mud for days or weeks or months, then the work of writing becomes a slow torturous death.

I’ve been there. It isn’t pretty. Lost, confused, afraid, trapped in doubts of my own creation. I’ll be there again. Everybody suffers setbacks and disappointments. Bad things happen all the time, completely out of our control. But we can survive them. We can emerge into the sunshine on the other side, smarter, more successful, and better equipped to handle the next dark moment.

Or do you want to find yourself bitter, disillusioned, and crippled artistically?

It’s your choice.

Many writers talk about voices in their heads, how characters just won’t shut up unless we write down their stories. But listen to that other voice, the still, small one that whispers to your heart. What do you say to yourself when a writing setback occurs?

The truth is that what we say to OURSELVES can be much more damaging than anything a stranger or well-meaning friend could say. Big-Time Agent’s polite “dear author” form letter or your Dream Editor’s pass on your latest opus is simply “no.” It doesn’t mean you’re a hack, a failure, or a wannabe too dumb to quit. If we allow the negative self-talk to play over and over, louder and louder, then pretty soon… We start to believe it.

When you believe you’re a hack, you write like one. And the vicious cycle continues.

Some common negative self-talk to watch out for (many of these I battle myself!):

I Can’t Make It Alone: “I can’t submit this partial until I’ve written it exactly as my fifty critique partners recommend!” Everybody else must be right when they say I can’t do this or that and NEVER this. Right? Wrong!

The Short Cut: “If only I knew so-and-so, she could recommend me to her editor!” There are no free lunches.

The Perfect Plan: “I can’t write until I know everything from point A to point Z including what size underwear the hero wears!” Size does matter, you know. Unless it becomes your excuse.

Name Calling: “All I’ve gotten are rejections, so I must be a failure.” “I didn’t finish my last manuscript, so I’m a quitter.” Sticks and stones, baby.

Doom and Gloom Predictions: “I’ll never final in this contest. Those anal judges always hate my work. So why bother entering.” “My last proposal didn’t sell, so I can’t come up with any new ideas.” Doomed before we start.

End of the World: “If I don’t get a full request from this finalist judge, then he’ll never like any of my work.” “If this editor passes, then I should shelve this book and quit writing entirely.” “This is my best work and it still got rejected. I’ll never sell anything.” One no doesn’t mean never.

Personal Hell: “I can’t write my way out of a wet paper bag.” “I’m as stupid as my TSTL heroines I keep creating.” This voice is even worse than the “internal editor.” Gag that bitch and lock her up far away!

Green Eyes: “It’s not fair that so-and-so sold so quickly or gets so many contracts.” The only writer you need to compete with is yourself.

When the negative self talk begins, challenge it. Is it true? Is it helping you meet your goals of being a writer? Can you turn it into something positive?

Let’s face it. Some days we want to strangle Pollyanna and feel more like Chuckie. We don’t always feel confident. We don’t always feel like writing. During these “down” times, it’s all the easier to play the negative self-talk reel in your head.

Instead, protect your confidence. Tell yourself GOOD things instead of dwelling on the negative. It will make that daily grind through the crazy publishing world that much easier to bear.

If you truly believe that you have a special voice with a unique story to tell, then you write with authority and your story will resonate with power.

So what negative things have you told yourself as a writer—and how are you going to shut that voice up?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 10th, 2007 at 5:48 pm and is filed under Writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

20 Responses to “Do You Know the Secret?”

Michelle Says:
July 10th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
I struggle with all of this big time. In fact, I didn’t write for over a month before I started this last project. Personal Hell is generally where I sit
Joely Says:
July 10th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
I know Personal Hell very, very well, too, Michelle! I’m trying to teach myself to catch that negative self-talk before it goes too far.
Ann Says:
July 10th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
I didn’t write for a month or so. But my personal hell was I am exhausted, the dayjob is killing me.
Joely Says:
July 10th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Evil Day Jobs can suck out your creativity, Ann. I’m in a bit of a crazy stretch at work myself right now–which is why the Dark and Early bit works for me. If I wait until night, I’m too tired.
Ann Says:
July 10th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Dark and early bits don’t work for me, they’re what keep me from falling asleep in meetings or at the desk *g*.
Amy Ruttan Says:
July 10th, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Talking about EDJ’s boy do they ever suck your soul out. Rough patch at work right now too!

I just believe in myself, only I can do this, I love the support of all my blogger buddies, but I have to keep true to my voice. That is one thing I won’t change regardless of what CP’s say.

Is there a secret, nope. Just hard work, blood, sweat, tears and perserverance. Not giving up no matter how much you think you suck. A story in a writer’s eyes will never be done.
Jess Says:
July 10th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Joely, I could HUG you. In fact, I will. *HUGS* Personal Hell is my demon. The Cherries at JennyCrusie Forums call it the “You Suck” script. I fear that I have great vision but lack the skills to execute the stories. I fear I just don’t have what it takes - when I know in my head that what it takes is work and discipline. I believe the stories in me need to be told and deserve to be read. I need to start acting like it. That’s what 70 Days is helping with. I’m linking this post.
Joely Says:
July 10th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Ann, my sleepy time is around 4-6 p.m. If I have to drive during that time to pick up the monsters, I can’t hardly keep my eyes open. Otherwise, the dark and early thing doesn’t bother me. The hardest thing is actually getting UP.

Excellent comments, Amy. Support and advice, critiques, suggestions–all great. But you have to be true to yourself!

Jess, hugs back!! “You Suck” script is exactly right. I hear it myself all the time, and that’s exactly the self-talk we have to nip in the bud! I’m so glad you’re benefiting from the 70 Days of Sweat! Me too.
Christina Says:
July 10th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Wow, how many times have I heard today that you only compete with yourself. I have not gone as far as having a MS complete, so I have not had to send out to queries etc. I have doubted when I first began, but I am still learning the mechanics and soaking everything in. I hope I remember your sage advice when I find myself in all the possible hells the writing life has to offer.
Bri Says:
July 10th, 2007 at 11:43 pm
I hate it when the “worries” set in. All of my time and energy gets devoted to lifting me out of them. I also do the whole “perfect plan” thing, which is my personal hell (but the voice and everything else is bad too!)

I try not to stay in that mood very long and I get out of it by setting goals. Generally, I also I find support in conversations like this with my blog friends and things like the 70 Day Challenge and Friday Snippets. I also have a few friends who will act as a sounding board or illustrate scenes/chars for me. That’s always nice for sure.

Great post, btw!
Zoe Says:
July 11th, 2007 at 6:48 am
Wow, I’ve used all of those examples except the second. I’ve found that ignoring the voice tends to work better than trying to reason with it. “I’m a terrible writer and this book will never get published…” “Yeah, that’s nice, where’s my 2000 words?”
Maude Says:
July 11th, 2007 at 9:03 am
For years, I was too self-critical and resented what I could not do as to what I could do. And it hurt me. I also forgot to respect the whole art form of writing, because I was jaded.

Now I am definitely positive. Though I still know I sit on the fence, I have decided to find ways to MAKE sitting on the fence work.

I always knew writing was definitely hard work. I knew that. But I remembered it being fun, too, and now I definitely want to take JOY in writing, thorns and all.

GREAT POST! KEEP POSITIVE!
Ava Rose Johnson Says:
July 11th, 2007 at 9:29 am
Great post Joely. I think telling yourself positive things about you and your writing is the best thing you can do. Get it into the subconscious and you’ll believe it.
LJCohen Says:
July 11th, 2007 at 9:41 am
A great post and a needed reminder for any artist. It’s so hard not to separate the work from yourself, so when rejections come (and they do, damn it!) it can be almost impossible not to feel as if it’s personal.

I let myself wallow for exactly one day. Then it’s back to work. Then there was the poem I crafted from lines taken verbatim from multiple form rejection letters. It makes me laugh every time I read it, so writing it transformed something potentially negative into a positive.

(It’s here, if you’re interested. http://ljcbluemuse.blogspot.com/2006/06/it-just-takes-one-yes.html)

Thank you for this post!
Lisa
http://www.ljcbluemuse.blogspot.com
Gabriele Says:
July 11th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I write so slowly, I’ll never finish any of my NiPs. And even if I do, how shall I ever cope with deadlines.
Joely Says:
July 11th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Christina, best of luck with finishing your first ms! That will be a HUGE achievement!

Bri, I sometimes let the details of the plan consume me, instead of guide me. Good luck!

Zoe, exactly! Write anyway. Although sometimes it is really, really hard. Even a sentence or paragraph, a tweak, whatever, every single day, will help you get out of the funk.

Maude, thorns and all. I really like that. And finding joy–that is so important!

Ava, that’s what I keep telling myself. Some days are better than others.
Joely Says:
July 11th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
LJCohen, thank you so much for sharing that poem! I loved it.

Gabriele, that has affected my choices, too. But then I think of Robert Jordan and how many years I’ve been reading his series–since 1994–and I’ll wait until the Last Battle to find out how everything happens.
Jakob Says:
July 12th, 2007 at 7:59 am
This is exactly what I expected to find out after reading the title Do You Know the Secret?. Thanks for informative article
tambo Says:
July 12th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
We all have our own personal hell to endure. I have the ‘I suck’ monster, sure, but there’s also the stark raving terror of exposure, success, fame, and all that happy crappy. I’ve been tussling with the suck monster my whole life and it doesn’t faze me much any more. It’s the lack of it, the kudos, awards, fan letters and shit like that that really fucks me up now. Good news - ha ha - can lock me up for weeks, sometimes months. Total. Brain. Lock. Trust me, it ain’t fun.

Fwiw, I’d much rather be told I suck. At least it’s familiar and I have the tools to fight it.
Shelley Munro Blog » Blog Archive » Out and About on the Web Says:
July 13th, 2007 at 3:31 am
[…] Joely Sue Burkhart has a post called Do you Know the Secret? It’s about writing and positive thinking. […]

Do You Know the Secret?

20 Responses to “Do You Know the Secret?”

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