Joely Sue Burkhart

Friday Snippet - Spires of Secrecy

I was going to start a Maya Fantasy short story for this week’s snippet, but I decided to show the story I’m currently working on for a speculative Gothic Romance anthology. I’m busting my fanny in hopes of finishing this thing by the July 31st deadline. The story is supposed to include more modern speculative elements, but still hark back to the great gothics. This is my attempt at “alien goth.” First draft only.

Spires of Secrecy

Amee Fallon took one last breath of warm air and raced down the shuttle’s ramp. Frigid wind screeched across the launchpad, slicing her to the bone. The shuttle groaned in the unceasing gale. No wonder the landing had been so rough.

She huddled against a low wall and scanned the landing area. Empty. Barely peeking over the wall, she gasped and choked on air so cold her teeth ached. Her nostrils felt freeze dried. Wind whipped tears from her eyes that froze into ice trails on her cheeks.

Massive black spires stabbed the sky, gnarled by millennia of winds and weather. Two parallel lines marched toward higher structures deeper in the alien city. Ice blanketed the ground and striped the black rock.

Not a sign of life anywhere.

Ducking back down, she cursed the fashionable—and not very warm—coat she’d selected as part of her disguise. Anger churned her stomach. So Dr. Linkyn didn’t want anyone snooping around his precious dig. Surely the egotistical xenoarcheologist could have sent someone to meet her before she added to the body count on this horrible planet. Besides, death by exposure wasn’t his M.O.

Maybe a long boring stint on a cruiser bound for the latest colony in the Ito quadrant wouldn’t have been so bad. No one in their right mind would choose to live on this ice cube. Another mark against the famed and presumably insane man who’d lived here nearly ten years.

Stay and freeze before proving he was the murderer; or walk and hope she found some shelter in the twisted alien ruins. Her teeth chattered so hard her head rattled, and she knew her body temperature was dipping rapidly.

She wouldn’t last much longer.

Before she died, she wanted to nail the bastard who’d already killed at least five people.

Leaving her bag on the ground, she tucked her face deeper into her ridiculously frivolous red coat and began walking toward the alien ruins.

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 26th, 2007 at 9:40 pm and is filed under Friday Snippets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

18 Responses to “Friday Snippet - Spires of Secrecy”

Ann Says:
July 26th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Cool. Excellent begining. More please *g*. Have a great weekend.
IanT Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 2:57 am
Great start; and nicely incongruous coat.
Jess Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 5:47 am
Definitely want to read more; good sense of setting, too.
Joy Renee Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 6:05 am
i would definitely turn the page!

i’m wondering if someone addlepated enuf to choose clothing for a fashion statement when heading into a hostile climate might also be mistaken about the guilt of her target. guilty or not, i pity him when she unleashes that temper in his direction.
GutterBall Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 7:38 am
Woot! Alien goth!
Seanachi Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 8:34 am
oooo, more please!
Michelle B Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 9:24 am
Love this, Joely! I was hooked from the beginning!
M
Bri Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 10:07 am
Loved how angry she is! Especially the “egotistical xenoarcheologist” and her comments about her ridiculous coat. I really liked her character’s voice as well as the alien goth/other planet setting!
Gabriele Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 10:10 am
I thought Goths wear black?

If the heat here doesn’t cease soon, can I have the directions for ice cube planet? It sounds sorta comfortable right now.
Sterculian Rhetoric Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 11:11 am
“…No one in their right mind would choose to live on this ice cube….”

I concur, Soviet Canuckistan is like that. Minus 35 Celsius for two straight months(January and February). I go to S.E. Asia for the winter.
The sacrifice of function for form, the bane of the West!
Great story girlfriend.
Nicole Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 11:37 am
Death by exposure wasn’t his MO… heh. Great start, and would hook my interest for sure.
Krista Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 11:41 am
This sounds like a wonderful start, Joely.

A gothic romance anthology, huh? Sounds promising. I hope you make your deadline and the story knocks their socks off.
Crystal Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
I want a ridiculously frivolous red coat! Definitely want to see where this is going!
cherylp Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Great description, Joely! Here it is, the dead of summer, and I felt like it was the dead of winter after your descriptive sentences! Brrrr.
MerylF Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
Hmm, interesting beginning! I do like the way the planet is an antag all on its own
Joely Says:
July 27th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
Thanks, guys, for your opinions. I’m hoping I can finish it this weekend….
Amy Ruttan Says:
July 28th, 2007 at 11:58 am
Good hook. Ooh I want more MORE. I would have stopped by Friday but my internet and cable crashed. I had no TV, no Internet and it made Amy go something, something. Go Crazy? Don’t mind if I do.

Sorry, still a little residual crazy there.
Joely Sue Burkhart » Blog Archive » Friday Snippet - Spires of Secrecy 2 Says:
August 2nd, 2007 at 10:57 pm
[…] Spires, part 1 Spires closed in, forming a canyon of black rock and sculpted waves of pristine snow. No tracks. Nobody had come this way in ages. Above, the wind howled like a beast so loudly that she barely heard the voices. Feet numb and legs wobbling, she fell against the rock wall and edged closer, shivering uncontrollably. […]

Friday Snippet - Spires of Secrecy

18 Responses to “Friday Snippet - Spires of Secrecy”

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