Joely Sue Burkhart

Friday Snippet - Broken Angel

Months ago, my fantabulous editor, Deena at Drollerie Press, challenged me during a chat to write a ZOMBIE ROMANCE. Think about it:

Dead People + Love Story = Necrophilia?

But I have to admit I was intrigued by the challenge. Could I come up with a plausible “science” that might make a zombie hero or heroine more… er… palatable to the general romance reader?

Despite my interest, it still took quite a while for the story to work itself out in my mind. I knew it was going to be rather Phantom of the Opera-ish… with a twist. I had a very strong image of the heroine thinking about eating somebody (that scene never made it into the story, thank God, although she does kill someone.) But I couldn’t bring all the pieces/parts into a manageable vision in my head.

I’ve already mentioned in earlier blog posts that last week while getting slammed at the Evil Day Job, the story suddenly worked itself out. After thinking about it for months, I wrote the first draft in two sessions.

I don’t write much (any before) zombie horror fiction, so I have no idea if the images/motifs I’m using are overdone or not, but I like how it came out.

Here’s the opening scene of Broken Angel: A Zombie Love Story.

I dreamed of the broken doll again.

Standing on a bridge curtained with willows and blooming vines, I saw her in the crystal water flowing beneath the stone arch. At first, she looked perfect: lovely porcelain face, large sparkling eyes, and flowing silken ribbons of gold framing her angelic features. Beautiful as she rose from the gurgling stream, she floated up to the bridge like dandelion fluff. She smiled with that Cupid’s bow mouth and walked toward me, stiff and jerky like a mindless robot.

Dread rolled through me, a drowning darkness of cold waters. I couldn’t breathe. My head pounded, my heart struggled to beat. Ice encased my hands, my feet, inching up my arms and legs. I wanted to run before she came any closer, but I was frozen immobile.

Dead leaves rained down; brittle flowers crumpled to dust; ice covered me. My face was stiff and cold, my eyes wide open and staring. Just like that horrible, perfect doll marching toward me with grim joviality.

From the other dreams, I knew there was something horrible about her face, something so terrifying that I couldn’t remember. I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to look.

Peaches and cream complexion, once smooth and symmetrical, now drooped. The eye on the right sat lower on her face, her mouth tugging down into a grimace. A dark slash cut across her forehead, another down her cheek. She stumbled forward, clutching a heavy gold watch, links of chain woven between her wooden fingers. I stared, frozen like a dumb animal, as that face broke open. Porcelain cracked away to reveal…

My face.

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 21st, 2008 at 6:03 pm and is filed under Friday Snippets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

16 Responses to “Friday Snippet - Broken Angel”

Susan Helene Gottfried Says:
February 21st, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Ooh, Joely. This is a hell of a start!
Ann Says:
February 21st, 2008 at 10:14 pm
Awesome! Spooky! I posted one this week.
IanT Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 7:15 am
Dolls are a great source of scariness. Like puppets.

I’ve never been quite clear why we give these things to children…
Gabriele Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 8:51 am
Scary.

I really wonder how you’ll turn that into a Romance.
Jess Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 8:55 am
very creepy!! my reading of zombie fiction is probably as limited as your writing it, but I don’t think dolls etc are overdone.

And I’m with Ian. Porcelain dolls and puppets? Creepy, yes.
GutterBall Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 9:04 am
And clowns. Definitely clowns. Guh.
Krista Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 10:30 am
You know, the more I read your stuff, the more I ask myself why some agent hasn’t snapped you up and browbeat the mainstream publishers into looking at your work. You’ve got some mad skills, woman!

Okay, about the story….love the intro. Totally grabbed me, especially knowing this is supposed to be a romance. If you can pull this off, you can pull off anything.
Stace Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 3:40 pm
You’ll like this: http://www.strangedolls.net/

Awesome intro!
Joely Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Thank you so much, everyone! Hopefully you’ll see it in its entirety.

Krista, you’re making me blush.

Stace, gah, now my nightmare is real! Thanks for the link!
Joy Renee Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 8:04 pm
dolls, puppets, masks all are archetypes of self which is why they are such powerful symbols in story since stories began to be told.

yeah, if you can pull a zombie romance off you can do anything. this is a gripping start.

i love surrealistic dream sequences as you will see with my snippet this week–the conclusion of Blow Me a Candy Kiss
cherylp Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Well, I’ve always been a Joely Sue fan, so this doesn’t disappoint. I’m totally envious that you wrote this story in two sessions, though. Grrrrr.

I’m with Krista. If you can pull this off, you can write anything.
Tim King Says:
February 23rd, 2008 at 7:20 pm
I know I’m a little late with this, but better late than never.

My first thought was, if a zombie love story is so far out there–and it is–then why bother? I mean creativity is one thing. But trying to accomplish the impossible just for the sake of it, that’s silly.

Apparently, sometimes, it’s best not to go with your first thought. Because my second thought was: OMG! This is wonderful!

So much of what I read fails to captivate my attention anymore. It’s such a pleasure to read something like this that so thoroughly impresses me and engrosses me.

Thanks so much for sharing.

-TimK
Travis Says:
February 23rd, 2008 at 9:46 pm
That was wonderfully creepy!
TK Says:
February 24th, 2008 at 9:06 am
How very cool not to mention kinda creepy
Joely Says:
February 24th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Thanks, guys. I’m glad you enjoyed it! I was definitely going for creepy, and this certainly isn’t the everday kind of “romance” either, but I think the love story part works.
Joely Sue Burkhart » Blog Archive » Friday Snippet - Broken Angel Says:
February 28th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
[…] Opening Section. Screaming, I jerked awake. I clawed at the blankets, flailing toward the edge of our king-sized bed. […]

Friday Snippet - Broken Angel

16 Responses to “Friday Snippet - Broken Angel”

Leave a Reply

Pages

My Blogs

Blogroll

Categories

Archives

Meta

February 2008
M	T	W	T	F	S	S
« Jan				Mar »
				1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29