Posted on

The Perfect Form Rejection Letter

Originally published at Joely Sue Burkhart. You can comment here or there.

I’ll bet someone back east is going, “Now why don’t he write?”
~ Timmons from Dances with Wolves.

Middle Monster absolutely fell in love with this movie over the weekend. She loved the horses and buffalo. After sending out the first wave of queries on Letters, I keep seeing this scene in my mind, where Timmons is pointing to the dead person loaded with arrows. Irrational, I know, but as soon as I hit “send” on a query, this is what comes into my mind. Even if it’s a rejection, I want to know now, quick, soon, why haven’t I heard???

The waiting game sucks bracken swamp water.

In nearly five years of writing and submitting, I’ve seen quite a few rejection form letters from agents. I know they work really hard to convey ”no thanks” without being demeaning or negative in any way, because we’ve all heard that it only takes one yes. ONE. That’s it. So the old “this isn’t for me” isn’t meant as a lame platitude. Even when our name becomes “author.”

Seriously, though, I think they’re all working way too hard. In the end, all I really want is a quick response.

Dear Author: No. Agent.

or

Dear Author: Send x. Agent.

or even better

Dear Joely: Sign here. DREAM AGENT.

See? I’m easy to please. :D

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *