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The Dark Moment

I don’t mean the plot point, Approaching the Inner Cave (although that’s not too far away).  I mean the dark moment of the writer’s journey when doubts begin to assault from all sides.  I nearly always stumble somewhere between 180-300 pages, sometimes multiple times.  *50K = approx 200 pages = nods*

Despite writing a story I LOVE.  Despite “winning” NaNo last night.  Despite wallowing in Mykal’s wickedness, Dharman’s unswerving loyalty, and Sal’s tasteless–but hilarious–humor, I have begun to quail in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.  I have come to the place in the story where I begin to doubt the choices I’ve made. 

I begin to worry about what PEOPLE will think, the true kiss of death. 

The Evil Voice whispers in my head:

EV:  Your heroine is nagging every man in sight.  Talk about a Mary Sue. 

Me:  She loves them.  Love is the greatest gift of all, the story’s theme.

EV:  *snorts*  What a load of crap.  When every man wants to nag her, she’s a Mary Sue.

Me:  Not every man wants to nag her.

EV:  Then they want to kill her, which is worse.

Me:  Some want to do both.

EV:  Quick, bring the holy water, pitchforks, and torches!!!  Get thee behind me, writer!

Me:  Even the darkest shadow can be redeemed–that’s the whole point of the series!  If I can bring the scariest, most obviously evil character around…

EV:  Oooh, so your heroine has a magic hooha, too.  Great.  Nag Shannari and all evil is forgiven!

Me:   That’s not what I meant.  It’s special, wonderful, a message of forgiveness, not…er…

EV:   Nagging?

Me:  Er…yeah, they do that too.  Well, they might.  I don’t know if I can pull it off.  I don’t know…

EV *kindly*:  I think you need to go back, honey.  Retrace your steps. Or better yet, isn’t there a more appropriate story you could write?  Something without all this revolting nagging?  Not to mention the violence.  I mean, honestly, how many characters have you killed now?

Me:  *blubbers*

EV:  That’s what I thought.  *pats me on the head*  I think you made a wrong turn at Albequerque.  *mutters*  What a maroon.

Me:  *glares*  *thinks of Gregar waiting at the bottom of the Well* *flips the bird at EV and opens file*

And that’s all you can do, folks.  Keep on writing on.  Don’t listen to that deceitful, jealous, nasty bitch who doesn’t want you to finish another story.  No matter how much she screams and wails in your ear, keep going.  Finish.

Live to revise another day.

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NaNo Day 19 Part 2

I learned a lot about Mykal tonight.  Nickelback is my new favorite group.  He particularly likes S.E.X. and Burn It To the Ground.  I have no idea why.  :roll:  :mrgreen:

Mykal’s scene:  1,127

NaNo Total:  50,282  Makes me wonder how far I’ll get by the end of the month…Will I actually get a complete FIRST DRAFT?  At this point, I’m guessing no, I’ll be drafting into Dec.  We’ll see.

Snippet:  Oh, it’s so hard to limit this to just a few hundred words.  Mykal is so…well.  You’ll see.

If Mykal’s eyes didn’t betray him, the scroll bore the Great Seal of rampant lions wreathed in roses.

Roses.  He sucked in a deep breath.  Even from a dozen paces away, he swore he could smell her on that parchment.

Gana jerked his chin in a command, and a warrior stood and moved to intercept the trader.  Hissing, Mykal flung back his taamid, silently flowed behind the unsuspecting warrior, and swung his arm in an arc. 

He was as stunned as everyone else when the rav’s head rolled across the sand.  Staring down at the vicious claws, he slowly rotated his hand, watching the moonlight flicker across the silver razors.  Shaken, he tried to remember what he’d done to make the claws come out.  How had only part of the dragon manifested?  How did he control it?

Raising his hand high above his head, he turned in a circle, letting the warriors see the evidence of his transformation.  He might as well use the opportunity to bring them further under his control, as long as he could successfully mask his own unease.  By the awe on his own rav’s face, no one suspected his stomach boiled with fluid as noxious as the Venom Lake.

Tal,” Asad’s voice shook as badly as his hand offering the scroll.

As though dragon claws on his human hand were perfectly normal, he used his index blade to crack the wax seal.  Carefully he unfurled the parchment, his heart pounding.  The dragon crouched, wings cocked, ready to burst free and fly hard, fast, toward Shanhasson.

He held the precious scroll to his face and breathed deeply.

Iyeh, her hands had touched here and here, and…there, a hint of salt.  The ink had blurred, smearing her name slightly.  A tear, how appropriate, how fitting.  The dragon within shuddered, curled up its wings, and slept to dream of a sweet, clear lake the likes of which this blasted land had never known, sprinkled with drops of blood.

He knew she was the Rose of Shanhasson, Last Daughter, High Queen of the Green Lands, but more importantly, she was the White Dragon to break Agni’s fiery punishment.

Or loose Yama’s Shadow on all the world.

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NaNo Day 19

Dark & Early this morning and back to the Evil Day Job.  This kind of scene is hard enough to write, let alone at the butt crack of dawn, but I finally finished up Sal’s scene.  I’m exhausted, and they’re just getting started.  :shock::mrgreen:

 

Today: 1,210 words

NaNo Total: 49,155 words

Snippet:  Shannari is discussing marks with Dharman and Sal, whether she’ll let them mark her and vice versa.  Short, because…well…there’s not much of this entire scene I can post without getting Bethanie fired.  HA. 

“I’m certainly going to mark you both again if you’ll let me.”

Sal’s eyes glowed.  He crawled closer and plopped on his stomach, staring up at her through his hair.  “Anywhere I want?”

She rolled her eyes but she knew he felt the unfurling desire spreading through her body at the thought.  “Anywhere that won’t…er…maim you.”

He pouted, which startled her enough she let out a choked laugh.

Dharman sat up, scooting her over to the side of the bed.  He stood with her in his arms and headed for the bath.  “Walk in front of us, Sal.  I think she’ll figure out where she wants to mark you.”

Sal sauntered past, shaking his head slightly so his hair swished down his back.  He paused, looking back over his shoulder with a decidedly lecherous grin.  “Alea always did say I could give Gregar a hard gallop for his rahke.”

Holding her breath, Shannari let the waterfall of his hair draw her eyes down his sculpted shoulders and back to his bare backside.  He didn’t have dimples on each cheek like the Shadowed Blood–his were higher near the base of his spine, two dished indentions begging for her tongue–nor the same heavily muscled thighs, but Sal definitely possessed a tempting ass of rounded, firm muscle, framed by all that glorious heavy hair.

She dragged her gaze up back to his and hoped her mouth wasn’t hanging open.  She suspected that she needed to wipe her chin.

He winked.  “You haven’t gotten a good look at my front, either, although Dharman takes that rahke.”

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NaNo Day 18 Part 3

For some reason, I always seem to get the BIG SCENE wrong the first time around.  You know, that scene for which a character has been yearning for pages and pages, and it should be a candybar.  It should be golden, warm and syrup sweet to write, and yet…

Yet it’s not.

I think I put too much expectation on myself.  This scene should be so big, so climatic, so fulfulling and wonderful…Naturally, it’s impossible to get it right the first time.  However, I wish I didn’t usually get that first draft so absolutely wrong.

Sigh.  I went back to work on the scene where Dharman and Sal finally achieve their heart’s desire.  I actually cut over 1200 words before starting.  I am not including those words in my NaNo count, even though they’re technically “new” words.  They’re not the right words, and I’m going to hit 50K.  It’s more important that this story be right.  Dharman and Sal deserved better (or worse, if you want to look at it from a Story standpoint) than what I’d given them.

So straight new words (not counting revision):  1,456.  (Day’s total:  4396!!  *boggles*)

NaNo Total:  47,945 

And you know it, this obsessive compulsive writing maniac is tempted to stay up and force it through to 50K tonight. I could do it — Sal’s scene isn’t done yet, and then there’s all the aftermath to sort out.  However, I wouldn’t do it full justice.  Tomorrow is soon enough.

Snippet:  This takes place after the scene I posted a few days ago when Shannari was Dreaming as the White Dragon and she nearly killed Dharman, then he met a stranger whose insight into her shocked him to his knees.  An argument ensued, made worse by her guilt and worry that she’d almost killed him.  Series spoilers removed.

Bitterly, she said, “So you think you’re all interchangeable?  That what I feel for you and Sal could just as easily transfer to Jorah?  Or Lew?  How about some stranger as long as he swears a blood oath to me?”

“How do you feel for me?”  His voice tightened, his hands closed fists at his sides.  “If you care so very much, why deny us?  Why refuse us?”

“You know how I feel.”

“Do I?”  His face darkened.  “Then I should stand guard and leave you to your sleep.”

“Come here,” she retorted.  He hesitated.  He actually hesitated.  The blizzard snows began to blow within her.  “Your blood is mine and I want you here, in my bed, this very minute.”

If a warrior could slam himself into a fluffy soft mattress, Dharman did.  He lay on his back and glared up at the ceiling, his bond as hard as steel in her mind.

He’d closed himself off, she realized with a start.  She could feel his bond, but his thoughts and emotions weren’t leaking through.  He’d managed to seal the link between them, locking her out.

As I’ve done so many times since he became my Blood.

Tears burned but she refused to soften.  She touched his bond, seeking the red thread in her mind.  Breathing hard, he stiffened beside her but the bond hardened, forged with his determination.  He was First Blood, but he wanted to be more, so much more.

He expected her to rage and tear at his bond until he broke down and let her in.  That’s what he wanted, in fact.  He hoped to prove how much she would miss him if his bond was gone, and he thought he could force her hand.  In some ways, he didn’t know her at all.

Irritated more than she cared to admit, she simply arched a brow at him.  “If you’re tired of serving as Blood, I’ll let you go.”

Her brief satisfaction at the well-aimed barb dissolved beneath the raging panic that filled his eyes.  “Nay,” he breathed, his voice broken.  “You wouldn’t.”

“Aye, I would,” she retorted, wielding her voice like a rahke.  “You already think I would cut you out of my life because of a simple disagreement, so why would I stop short of breaking your bond entirely?  If you want to be free…”

“Never,” he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut.  His control came crashing down faster than she’d breached the Shining Walls with his blood and his pleasure years ago, his bond roaring wide open in her mind.  “Never free me, na’lanna Qwen, I beg you.  Never release my bond.  I’d rather you cut open my chest and hack out my heart this very minute than ever force me to leave you.”

Lightly, she touched his mark over his heart.  His entire body jolted as though she’d plunged a rahke between his ribs.  In many ways, she had. 

“You were right,” she whispered, casting her breath across his bare chest.  “I shouldn’t taste his blood.  Even if he’s not the Black Dragon of my Dreams, he’s certainly Shadowed.  I don’t want another blood bond.”  Gently, she brushed her mouth over her mark in his chest, looking up at his face.  “I only want you.”

His eyes flew open.  He held his breath, staring into her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered against his chest, pausing to swipe her tongue fully over the old white scar.  “I was afraid and ashamed that I’d hurt you, which always makes me angry.  I wasn’t truly angry at you, certainly never enough to send you away.”

“The thought of losing you turns me inside out,” he whispered, trembling beneath her faint caress.  “If you want this man who smells of sandalwood and dragon, I’ll find him.  We Nine will pin him flat on his back at rahke-point so you may have your way with him.”

“Tonight, the only warrior I’m going to have my way with,” she slid her leg over his hips so she straddled his abdomen, “is you.”

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NaNo Day 18 Part 2

Oh, yes, the plot thickens.  *rubs hands together wickedly*  Misdirection and suspicion abound.  The Keldari and Shanhasson intersection approaches, kicked off by this scene.

Words: 2,042

NaNo total: 46,489

Snippet:

“Your father says you were recently in Keldar.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Percy replied, holding up his hand.  One finger had been hacked off, the stump blackened as though rotted…or blasted by dragon fire.  “I barely escaped with my life.”

She kept her expression politely interested and made the appropriate noises of sympathy, but she knew him to be a liar.  No desert savage or dragon would have stopped at removing a finger if they’d truly wanted him dead. 

Percy leaned forward, still a safe distance away, but her muscles tensed.  His pale blue eyes flashed like drawn steel, and she suddenly remembered the silvered gray of Stephan’s eyes.  They shared a very similar ghastly glow that had nothing to do with light and everything to do with Shadow.  He’d leaned across the table very much the same way, that same dreadful look of hunger in his eyes.  He’d worn a small ring on his hand so evil it had throbbed and crouched like a venomous spider.  That ring had been on exactly the same hand.  That missing pinky.

Heart pounding frantically, she let her hand settle on the hilt of her rahke.

:If he does so much as twitch toward you, his head will fall into your lap,: Dharman swore.

She let shaky laughter travel through their bond.  :On the floor is fine.  It’s easier to clean than my leathers.:

Stephan was dead.  She’d seen his body hanging in the gate at High Bridge.  Even if this man was trying to masquerade as the dead Duke of Pella, his face was entirely too young and fresh.  However, the suspicion lingered.  This man could easily pass as a younger brother or cousin of Stephan.

“Your Majesty, is something wrong?” the young man asked, swallowing nervously.

“I must admit, you seem rather familiar to me.  Have we met before?”

“Not to my knowledge, Your Majesty.  Although perhaps you met my brother, Alastair?  I know he spent some time in Shanhasson before he…he…”

Color drained from the young man’s face and he suddenly looked gaunt and worn.  Now that face she could definitely see on Stephan.  Slowly, she loosened the rahke, drawing it slightly.

“Forgive my son, Your Majesty.”  Benton sniffed and wiped his eyes with a handkerchief.  “Your predecessor took Alastair from our family home as a sort of…hostage.  He didn’t survive Theo’s reign.”

 “I’m sorry for your loss.  Unfortunately, many people lost their lives during Theo’s reign.”  Relaxing, she let the rahke slip back fully into its sheath.  Theo’s enemies made for likely allies.  “What news can you tell me of Keldar?”

“There was a gathering of tribes,” he lowered his voice, flickering his gaze at his father and at the Blood at her back.  “To the south and west of [Far Illione main city].  They say the ground split open so deeply that you can see the heartfires of the earth, and a river as red as blood pours across the sands.  They say there’s a dragon in the crack, Agni, the Red Dragon, He Who Burns.  When He comes out of the ground again, He’ll burn everything in His path.  So the savages…”

He gulped and looked to his father again.  Benton nodded encouragingly.  “It’s alright, son.  She needs to know.”

“They throw sacrifices into the smoking crack,” Percy whispered breathily.  “The women they steal.  They toss them to the dragon and hope it keeps Him from burning them all.”

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NaNo Day 18

Wading through the blowing sands of Keldar, I continued work on Mykal’s thread.  Oh, he’s bad, very bad, and not at all a trustworthy sort of character.  (Which is likely why I’m so intrigued with him.)  He has a very devious plan indeed, but oh, where did this plan originate, hmmm? 

Goal today:  I’d love to break 47K.

FYI:  Mykal is reeeeally loving the Nickelback album, Dark Horse.  I’ll leave it up to you to figure out which song(s) he might like best.  *winks*

Today:  898 dark & early;

NaNo total:  44,447 words

Snippet:  four tals, the chieftains of the most powerful tribes of Keldar, meet in the darkest hour before dawn.  Gah, just realized there’s a reason I liked “Rashan” so much – I already used it!  Doh!  So the tal’Cobra needs a new name.

He didn’t have to relearn, exactly; the knowledge was there.  He simply had to filter it through layers of silt.  Occasionally, very disturbing memories filtered up through the murky water of his past, little pockets of miasma that chilled the marrow in his bones. 

Nightmares, he whispered to himself.  Only nightmares. 

I am Mykal tal’Mamba and I have a purpose. 

Not even hidden pockets of quicksand could prevent him from achieving it.    

Rashan tal’Cobra gripped the hilt of a wicked scimitar in one hand and a short sword in the other.  “If we’re to Dance the Blades at dawn, why meet now without our ravs?”

“So he can set us one upon the other,” Gana tal’Tellan retorted.  His face was so heavily tanned and lined by the punishing sun that Mykal couldn’t make out his markings.  It didn’t matter.  Tellan claimed to be the holiest and purest of all tribes in the desert, the last hope, the remnant that would be saved. 

Yet they had proven to be the most corruptible.  So much precious White blood given to them in the beginning, only to be squandered in their thirst to claim the title of azi, supreme tal’Keldar.  As sands blew constantly in the face of the storm, so had Tellan lost all they held dear.  [tie this to Given in Fire.  See, I do leave notes to myself!!  And yes, I’ll be finishing Given in Fire before I turn Return over to my editor so that this all makes perfect sense.]

“You don’t even bring a White to sacrifice,” Nijar tal’Gaboon sneered.  “How can you hope to challenge us for azi?”

The Gaboon had been well named; the man had very long fangs but less potent venom.  Mykal smiled, holding his hands out empty of all weapons.  “You bring a White?  A true White?”

“Absolutely,” Nijar retorted, drawing himself up proudly.  “I have the granddaughter of the first azi.”

Rashan hissed, muscles coiling for battle.  “You filthy jackal.  You would sacrifice one of my blood after swearing to treasure her?”

Shaking his head, Gana merely laughed.  “This child couldn’t possibly be the granddaughter of the great Zahak, for his munakura was barren.  You should be a slaver, Rashan.  How much water did Gaboon pay for your precious kin?”

“I can guarantee us a true, precious White.”  Mykal spoke softly, but his low voice carried, even to the bickering tals.  Silenced, all three stared at him.

Gana finally voiced the question they all burned to hear.  “How?”

“There’s only one White Daughter left in all the world,” Mykal whispered.  “Only one who still smells of roses.”

Rashan spat on the sands, a grave insult, but Mykal saw the whiteness of the man’s knuckles on his weapons and the grooves of strain about his mouth.  “You lie.”

A faint shudder shook Mykal’s shoulders at the memory.  “Smoldering roses that grow thicker with her desire.  Is that not how a White should smell?”

Releasing a rumbling snort of challenge dragon to dragon, Rashan took a step closer and raised the scimitar over his head.  Roaring, he asked, “How could you possibly know this?”

The creature inside Mykal stirred.  Scales slithered against his spine, claws clattering beneath his ribs.  He stiffened, fighting to keep his face smooth despite the rolling, prowling beast crawling inside him.  Dragon spawn indeed.  “I have my ways.”

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NaNo Day 17

My goals for today:

  • brainstorm some possible upcoming scenes, done
  • get at least 2000 words
  • color my hair   Ugh.  New color.  Not so hot.  Although the monsters think the pink (where my gray soaked up the most color) is cute.  *dies*
  • exercise
  • fixed a Mykal scene that was bugging me and expanded it, 755 words
  • edited the next Mykal scene for continuity.
  • Continue next Mykal scene (where I got stuck before).  Forgot to write down starting words for this section, but so far, I’ve cut instead of added anyway.  Continuity is better.  Red herrings stinking to the Three Hells.  I’ve managed to confuse myself!
  • More work on above scene, another 492 words, but it’s not done.  Slow going.  The threads are very delicate, very fragile.  I have to lay them just right.  This is the beginning that brings Keldar to Shanhasson, a major plot intersection filled with (hopefully) suspicion as the reader tries to figure out WHO the antagonist is!  (I’m still trying to figure that out myself.)  I must be careful.  A POV character canNOT keep secrets, which is making this all quite fun indeed.  My intention is to give enough clues, combined with things seen from other POVs that shed the light on two possible bad guys.  One you really don’t want to be the bad guy, but you really think might be; the other would be really easy to make the bad guy, but isn’t that too easy?  See how complicated this is??
  • prepared a new submission package of Letters.  Trying to get up the nerve to send it.  Sent it.  *dies*  Let the angst begin!

I didn’t head to Kaldi’s this morning, but decided to stay home and pamper myself with some fresh squeezed orange juice and hot tea.  I’m feeling a cold coming on, which is the last thing I need right now.  If I feel up to it this afternoon, I plan to exercise.  I’d planned to exercise faithfully this month, but I fell back into the deadly obsession of writing every spare minute I have.  This story consumes me, as I expected and feared.  Even Revision Xibalba has fallen by the wayside.  I really, really need that story revised by the end of the year, so I need to come up with a plan to achieve it.  Maybe after I hit 50K the burning urge will subside enough for me to handle both stories again at the same time.

Words:  1,803 2,558 3,050

NaNo Total:  42,302  43,057 43,549

Snippet:  this one’s rather inappropriate, but it’s so key to the upcoming drama with Mykal that I decided to post it anyway.  Shannari’s Council has suggested that she take a “proper” Green Land husband, and this is how she and her Blood reacted.  Thank the Lady that Rhaekhar and Gregar aren’t also present, else it would have been a bloodbath!

“There are, however, a few requirements these candidates must fulfill before I’d even begin to consider them as my king.”  She smiled wider and every man at the table blanched, even her father.  Deliberately, she settled more fully against Dharman, and his arms immediately came around her.  She knew he bristled with fury like an indignant herd stallion, and Sal still growled and bared his teeth like a caged tiger.  Jorah was silent, but he shone brighter, his golden hair and skin catching the light and reflecting it back until Benton, who sat nearest on the edge, winced and shielded his eyes.

“Any man who desires to sit at my right hand as my king must first come to my bed.”  Through the bond, she asked Sal to look at her.  He did so, immediately.  Slowly, she ran her fingers through his hair, lifting the heavy red pelt and letting it spill through her hand like silk.  Then she traced the bite mark on his neck.  Old and white it might be, but she knew Phillip remembered how the red-haired warrior had gained that scar years ago.  The King of Maston made a sound very much like a whimper and fled the room.

“This man must come to my bed and survive.”  She laughed softly, twisting her hand in Sal’s hair, giving him a jerk that pulled his head sharply to the side.  He moaned deep in his throat and melted against her, burying his face in her lap, perilously close to the junction of her thighs.  “This man must come through each of my Blood and meet with their approval.  And then, he must satisfy my First Blood’s challenge.”

“Challenge?”  King Challon asked, his voice shaky.

Dharman smiled so widely the other man recoiled.  “No man comes to na’lanna Qwen’s bed except through me.  Any man desiring to lay with her must challenge me for the honor of touching one hair on her head.”

Sal retorted, “And I,” followed by sharp ayes from each of her Blood.

Letting her eyes smolder, she rubbed the back of her head against Dharman’s stomach.  “Surely the servants have spread the tales, yes?  Two of my Blood sleep in my bed each and every night.  That will never change.”  Never mind that nothing had actually happened.  Yet.

King Challon spluttered, his face pale but splotched with red.  “Your Majesty, you can’t honestly expect your king to…that is…  What exactly do you mean?”

Sal lifted his head and licked his mouth thoroughly.  She felt a rush of heat flood her, even though she knew firsthand he hadn’t actually done anything.  “That means, exactly, that if she desires another man, he would have to fight each and every one of us first.  And then, if he still has blood remaining in his body enough to rise for her challenge, he would have to watch me and her First Blood nag her from sundown to sunrise, for we have first claim on her heart.  And then, if she still desires this man, he may crawl into her bed with her First Blood at her back and my rahke at his throat to ensure he does it right.”

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NaNo Day 16

My goal was two-fold today.

  1. Hit 40K.
  2. Fix those two really bad “scenes” I sketched out last night.

Both goals were accomplished, but it took me off and on all day.  I don’t have any idea what comes next.  *panics*  I’m heading to bed and hoping some very sweet dreams inspire the next section.  I’m off the next two days from the Evil Day Job, but there were several ongoing issues that will likely require me to at least log on briefly.

Words:  3446 (including yesterday’s uncounted words)

NaNo total:  40,499

Snippet:  This was a very difficult but incredibly fun and wicked scene to write.  *laughs*  And no, it’s not as bad as it sounds.  Honest.  :mrgreen:

Panting, Dharman took one glance at her face, her mouth hanging open with surprise.  He rolled to his feet and stomped toward the bath.  “Great Vulkar, Sal, your hair is bad enough.  I don’t need your hands on me too!”

“I don’t know why you’re so upset; at least you released.  I’m about to die.”  Sal flopped on his back, smacking his lips with loud appreciation.  “Besides, it wasn’t my hands.”

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NaNo Day 15

I didn’t have a cup of coffee until after 7:00 p.m. yesterday, so that should tell you what kind of day it was.

Compound that with difficulties in my story line.  Specifically, working out the romantic arc AND the Keldari arc.  Bringing them together and meeting at the appropriate time is going to be quite the challenge.  I’m afraid it’ll be sort of like building a bridge from both sides at the same time in the hopes of meeting in the middle, only to find out one side started off by an inch and the whole thing is ruined.

And, well, getting the emotional tension from angst to frustration to fulfillment without the journey being too cheesy or easy…   This is far from the same Shannari I started with five years ago.  She’s got different fears this time around, different hang ups, and figuring out how she would REALLY react is difficult.  I’ve been rewriting a lot to get her reactions right.  She’s not afraid of anything but running, but ironically, she runs a lot and doesn’t even know it.

I did manage 1034 words last night; however, I’m not going to update my word counts yet.  I really need to rewrite, fill, and stretch the two “scenes” I started in those measely words.   I need to make them meatier and more complex before I can go on.

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NaNo Day 14

Being devious is very hard work.  I’m not very good at it.

I started the next section in Mykal’s POV and trying to not only get into his head and figure out his voice (for one thing, he’s dra’gwar, and I thought he was something else entirely), I’m also trying to figure out exactly who the unnamed antagonist is and laying down hints everywhere that deliberately point to the wrong suspect(s).  This is my BIG TWIST.  It’s hard to lay down red herrings and misdirection when I’m really not sure how this will all play out. 

That’s what first drafts are for!  Figuring things out. 

However, that means I didn’t get a lot of words this Dark & Early session.  I also stopped advancing yesterday’s part 2 section.  I had a feeling things were happening a little too easily.  Easy and clean is never a good thing when writing big candybar scenes that a character has longed and ached to fulfill for YEARS. 

I also managed to sort of run out of DVD. 

What does that mean, you ask?  Well, funny, I was just telling May about the long years of daydreaming I’d done for this story, playing it out in my head like a DVD.  There’s a bunch of things I knew from the very old version I tried in 2004, but I got a lot of things wrong.  (Like who Mykal really is)  Some of the big scenes from that old version are flavoring the story now, but in unexpected ways, which shifts the DVD off its track just a little.  Enough little shifts, and all the sudden, this story is nothing like what I expected.

That’s where I am now.  The dreaded middle, and my DVD is actually a little corrupted.  There are some big black holes it skips, and I’m going to have to find a way to fill in with new dreams.  The way in which Dharman finally gets his heart’s desire was happening much too easily.  The same thing happened with Gregar in book 2.  Too easy.  Not real.  Not him

Back to the drawing board.  e.g. I’ll be pulling out the notebook later today and brainstorming.

Words:  520

NaNo total:  37,053

Snippet:  nothing good enough yet from today’s section. :oops:   

I’ll cheat and share something from last night’s–as long as you understand this section may be entirely axed and rewritten.

Dharman flung himself out of the Dream so hard he slid off the edge of the bed and slammed his skull onto the stone floor.

Sal yelled, “ALARM!”

Steel pricked Dharman’s flesh in at least five key spots, along with hard knees to pin him to the floor.  Panting, he didn’t move.  “Is she awake?”

“Yes, I am,” she answered, her voice muffled.  “Get off me, Sal.  I want to see what’s wrong.  Dharman?  Are you alright?”

Her voice rose with concern, which shouldn’t have made him feel so good.  The knees and rahkes left him, but even with his eyes closed, he knew the other Blood hovered close, ready to eliminate him if he proved Shadowed in any way.  He’d taught them well.  “I’m fine, na’lanna Qwen.  Just give me a moment to catch my breath.”

“Let me up.”  Sal must have complied, for her palm settled on Dharman’s cheek.  “What happened?”

“I have a confession to make.”  He opened his eyes but didn’t try to get up yet.  Once she found out he’d been spying on her sleep, she might put him back on the floor.  “I’ve been guarding your Dreams.”

She didn’t say anything, but he could see the thoughts whirling in her mind.  He knew the moment she made the connection, remembering what she’d done just a few moments ago.  Her cheeks flushed and then drained of all color.  “I ate you.”

Squatting down beside her, Sal laughed, cutting it off to a choked clearing of his throat at the look she shot him.