Yesterday was a pretty good start to Fast Draft; today, not so much.
That Man had to be up at 4:15 yesterday to make a long drive to KS, so I got up too. I made 2K in the morning before work on the new story, which was exactly my goal. Considering I didn’t have any real plotting done yet and only a vague idea of what I wanted to happen, I was pleased.
Over lunch, I read project #1 (first draft finished Sunday) to make sure it didn’t suck, and to my relief, I think it’s a pretty good story. Needs more work, though — I’ve got a few plot things I want to amp up, tie together, etc.
While cooking dinner, I began plotting more on project #2. I wrote out note cards for the scenes I did this morning and roughed out the next few scenes as well. Like Dear Sir, I’m Yours had letters that tied the plot and character together, this story has a little element that I want to start each chapter off with. The heroine is an attorney and has a list of rules that she never breaks, else disaster results. She broke one right before the story opens, and now she’s dealing with the fallout and forced to call on someone who really messes up her careful ordered existence.
The hero, of course. 
Ideally, since this is a Christmas-themed novella, I’d be tickled to end up with 12 rules, and thus 12 chapters to handle those rules, but we’ll see. I wrote up a little backstory for each character, but I’m still missing the characters’ static traits. Since those have to be set early and shown repeatedly, I already know that’s going to be a revision item I need to allow time for. I have the theme and the metaphor for that theme, so that’s good. Just need those crucial static traits.
Of course, I went to bed very early last night to enable another Dark & Early session this morning, but the phone rang off the hook and then I couldn’t sleep. So I’m starting off seriously behind today. Somehow, somewhere, I need to find time to get 2K new words and brainstorm static traits!!
Any little Christmas, dating rules, or attorney jokes you want to share? Pithy little sayings that will be fun for the hero to use against my heroine. Stuff like “Love isn’t worth getting sued over,” or “People lie — the law never does.”
What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A damn good start.
What’s the difference between a dead snake on a road and a dead lawyer on a road? There are skidmarks before the snake.
How can you tell a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
How do you save a drowning lawyer? Take your foot off his head.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a buffalo herd? The lawyer charges more.
I can do this ALL DAY. I’m seriously. Used to work for a lawyer.
How can you tell when a lawyer is well-hung? You can’t get your finger between the rope and his neck.
What’s the problem with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and no one else thinks they’re jokes.
And the blue ribbon winner (for now):
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Lexus full of lawyers? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Remembered another one:
Why do they bury lawyers 600 feet under ground? Because deep down, they’re really nice people.
One more:
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a slimy bottom-dwelling scum sucker. The other is a fish.
*splatters tea all over the monitor* Bwa ha ha ha ha!
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a lawsuit and a spare key.
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two divorcees, and a lawsuit and a spare key.
on the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three litigations, two divorcees, and a lawsuit and a spare key…..
You get the picture. 😀
*wipes eyes* You guys are killing me! I wasn’t looking for jokes exactly, but you’ve definitely got my mind racing and my ribs hurting.
I like the 12 days of Christmas idea!!
Never reveal information you don’t have to — kinda ties into: How can you tell a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
How many lawyer jokes are there in the world? Just one. the rest are true stories.