Originally published at Joely Sue Burkhart. You can comment here or there.
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We have three girl monsters aged 9 (Princess Monster), 6 (Middle Monster) and 4 (Littlest Monster, soon to be 5). Here are a few reasons I call them MONSTERS. 1.”Mom, the tub is clogged.” Princess Monster gave the dog a bath — and a haircut at the same time. 2.”Mom, the toilet is flooding!” Middle Monster flushed hair bands and a wash cloth down the toilet and blew up the sump pump. Not once, but twice. 3.*screaming, wailing* “Mom, Middle Monster shut Littlest Monster’s hand in the door!” 4.”But Mom, why can’t I sit on top of the swing set?” 5.Princess Monster came home with a bucket of snapping turtle eggs she found at Papa’s farm. Thank GOD they never hatched. 6. After we looked high and low for TWO DAYS trying to find Princess Monster’s brand new stuffed poodle, Littlest Monster admitted *with a very cute grin* that she’d hid it so SHE could sleep with it. 7.At basketball practice, I suddenly realized that Middle Monster wasn’t wearing any pants. “I forgot.” 8.”Mom, Dad’s pool chemicals taste yuck!” *Hello, Poison Control???* 9.”Mom, can I wear flip flops to school today?” *three inches of ice on the ground* 10.Middle Monster ripped open her diaper and ate poop when she was a toddler, but refuses to eat * because it’s yucky. (Insert random normal food) 11.Nasty dark footprints tracked all over the carpet: “But Mom, you told me stay on the sidewalk. You never told me to stay off the grass.” *where the dog poops* 12.It’s not a family dinner if we don’t discuss poop and pee at least once with lots of giggles. 13. I never knew something so cute would out-belch and out-fart their father. |
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