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Revision Hell: Murdering a Character

Do you have a “stock” character in your story who is perilously close to becoming a cliche?  Someone you need for a plot convenience, or simply to show another facet of your protagonist?  Would it matter if you changed the character’s name or sex?  If you simply took the character out of the story, would it really leave a gaping hole, or could you pull the story tighter and really not miss him at all?

As I read through a story for revision, one of the things I’m considering are the side characters.  Are they really needed?  Do they have a goal?  Can I make everything worse for the protagonist by doing something more powerful with the side characters? 

If you have a weak character who’s not pulling his share of the story, here are a few ideas to consider that might help.

Combine characters.  Sometimes you can take several side characters with very minor roles and meld them into one larger character who has several facets and purposes, making them more interesting.  For example, I cut Rhaekhar’s mother out and combined her role as “supporter” into Alea’s character.  This was challenging, because Alea really didn’t like Shannari, my protagonist, at all.  The complexity made Alea’s character richer and tightened the story considerably.

Give the character a stronger goal.  Remember, every character is the star of HIS own story.  He should have a purpose, and if it’s counter to the protagonist’s, even better.  If you have a character who doesn’t really have any goals above “make the plot convenient” or “help the protagonist be the hero” then sit down and do some work. 

  • Consider writing a few scenes in the character’s POV, even if you don’t intend to use his POV in the final story.
  • Get into his head by writing in first person, maybe some key backstory.  How did this character come to be here, for this story? 
  • Give him some contradictions.  If he’s brave, what is he afraid of?  If he’s kind, when would he be mean?
  • Give him something to do that deliberately makes the situation worse for the protagonist.

Rebuild the Character from Scratch.  This one is super hard for me, but sometimes it’s necessary.  I have to envision killing the character, literally, murdering him or her.  Otherwise, I keep doing the same thing that led me into the wrong path in the first place.  I did this once and it was gut-wrenchingly hard.  I murdered Shannari, the protagonist in the Shanhasson series.  I killed her in my mind so I could start all over again, even though I’d already written about 1000 pages in the series.  Only when the old character was dead and buried in my mind, could I start with a new protagonist worthy of carrying the load of the Story I envisioned.

I have a character in Return to Shanhasson who needs some work.  Jorah, the golden Blood, has become a weak character.  You know you have a problem when his only distinguishing characteristic is his size, and I don’t mean how tall he is. 

In this case, I think I’m going back to the original first draft of book two to get an element for Jorah to build upon.  In a very old draft of then titled “Khul’s Beloved,” Jorah did something very graphic that made a stark impression on Shannari.  That scene needs to come back.  If nothing else, it will make him very memorable!

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My First Booksigning

Today, we drove an hour and a half north, back to our hometown, Osceola, MO.  I haven’t been home much at all since I left for college.  For years, we lived in TX, NE, and MN, and I just didn’t keep in touch with very many people at all.  Once both That Man’s and my parents moved out of Osceola, we only made occasional drives around the square to see what had changed (very little), or to put flowers on Grandma’s grave, but we never really stopped and visited.

I think it was very fitting to experience this first where I grew up, especially in the library, where I read books by the shelf after school.  Where I quietly wrote my first stories in elementary school.  Where my teachers were so supportive and encouraging.  Mrs. Lightle made me write my own version of Beowulf my senior year and first instilled a love for poetry in my heart.  When I came home from college over spring break my freshman year, pretty sure I wasn’t going back because I couldn’t understand Calculus II, Mr. Kauffman gave me every teacher’s manual he still had so I could work through examples and figure out how to keep my head afloat.  I went on to be a mathematics major and even got my MS, but if he hadn’t let me come out to his house and given me his pep talk, I might not have made it.

Oh, and don’t even get me started about my family and friends, many of whom I haven’t seen in years.  Literally, my cousin who stopped by — I don’t think I’ve seen him for twenty years or more.  One of my best friends from high school came by — I hadn’t seen her since graduation.  The librarians I grew up with had retired, but both of them came in especially to see us.

We didn’t sell a ton of books, but we sold several, to very good homes, the library gained some donations, and more importantly, I connected with friends and family I hadn’t seen in an eternity.

It was a lovely day.  A huge thank you to Tish at the St. Clair Co. Library for organizing the event, and to everyone who stopped by to say hello.

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Friday Snippet: Return to Shanhasson

Since I’ve been working on this project for Revision Hell, I thought I’d share the opening prologue now that I’ve polished and smoothed it a bit.  I’m not one for prologues, usually, but these two sections set up the massive conflict of the entire book.  So much foreshadowing lies in wait in these words.  Keldar–the world of Survive My Fire and The Fire Within–will truly collide with the Green Lands in this book, bringing the entire story full circle.

Prologue to Return to Shanhasson, book 3 in the Blood & Shadows series.

In a wasteland of blasting sun and endless thirst, the man who’d used a thousand names and lived a thousand lives in Shadow stretched out on his face in blistering sand.  Above, a massive twisted spire stabbed the sky.  Poisoned waters hissed and bubbled around the tiny island.  His inflamed, festering flesh bore testimony to the acidic hatred of this place.

He choked on oven-hot air, his throat and mouth desiccated.  After dying countless times, he couldn’t even remember his original name any longer.  He’d lost all sense of time and place.  He rubbed his thumb against the small twisted iron ring on his pinky finger and shivered despite the baking heat.  Soon, he would have a new name, a new body, but his purpose was always the same.

Here in these savage lands of brutal death and endless thirst, the Great Lord didn’t need a sacrifice before He could stretch out His hand to touch and mold the world to His will.  They lived His Shadow every single day. 

It’s the perfect place for a new beginning. 

Lygon–or Yama, as the savages knew Him–moved through his mind.  It felt as though rancid oil soaked through every pore and crevice of his body.

WHAT NEWS, MY MOST FAITHFUL SERVANT?

He didn’t try to speak aloud; there was no need.  The Great Lord of Shadow could pull any secret thought from a man’s heart without effort.  Instead, he let the words ring in his head.  :Forgive me, Great Lord, but your son, Theo, the High King of the Green Lands, is dead.:

HERE IN THESE CURSED LANDS, ALL ARE MY SONS.

The ground shook, a merciless groan of laughter forced through the imprisoned earth.  Yama might taint the Spire and Venom Lake, but the rest of the Trinity exacted Their punishment on Keldar fiercer than any other land in the world.

Fools, he thought.  It was much better to plot according to a God’s will–even the Blackest Heart of Shadow–and live than risk eternal punishment and suffering.  However, there was one small catch.  He needed a new body, a new life, which only Yama could provide.

I will be Keldari this time

The thought sent an unaccustomed shiver of dread down his spine.  He’d been many men and lived many lives, some more vile than others, but he’d never actually carried a beast within him.

:What would you have me do, Great Lord?:

YOUR PURPOSE HAS NOT CHANGED.  I WANT her FILLIES OF THAT CURSED BLOOD EITHER BUTCHERED OR CORRUPTED BY OURS, BUT MOST OF ALL, I WANT A SON TO SOIL THAT SHINING BLOOD WITH MY OWN.  I WILL TAINT her LAST DAUGHTER FOR ALL TIME.

HERE IN THESE ENDLESS SANDS, BECOME ONE OF MY SONS AND CORRUPT HER YOURSELF.

Despite the blazing heat and burns on his body, he couldn’t help the shiver from head to toe at the thought.  She had never been part of his reward, not directly at least.  The Great Lord was jealous of His prizes, and the Last Daughter was the greatest prize of all.

He must be absolutely certain.  :You wish me to train one of your Keldari sons to corrupt her?:

NO ONE WILL BREAK HER BETTER THAN YOU.  IF YOU ARE WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE, THIS TIME YOU WILL BE REBORN KELDARI.

Something that might have been praise poured through him, although it was blackest night and smelled of rotting flesh.  There was no greater reward from the Great Lord.  He’d never hoped to be given this last, most important task of all.  :I will pay any price to drag her into Your Shadow.  What of her barbarian husband?:

Shrieking laughter crashed through his skull like boulders tumbling from the highest mountain.  THE HORSE KING WILL NOT LIVE FOREVER.  I NEED DO NOTHING TO SPEED HIS DEATH.  THE HORSE GOD CALLS HIS SON HOME TO WHINNEY AND CAVORT IN THE CLOUDS, WHILE HIS WOMAN SUFFERS ALONE.

ALONE, UNTIL YOU ARE PREPARED.

:I am ready, Great Lord, to do Your will, no matter how dark, no matter how painful.:

A painful, metallic shriek sliced against stone directly above him.  Slowly, he lifted his head, craning his neck to look up at the black rock rising above him.  At first, he couldn’t see anything, not in the moonless night.  The screeching came again, only feet away.  Shards of black glass stabbed his upturned face.

A massive claw seized his shoulder.  Talons sank into his flesh, grinding on bone.  The beast lifted him off the ground. 

Feathers and leathered scales filled the night, a stink of corpses roasting in the desert heat.  Red serpentine eyes glowed like burning cinders, searing him with hatred.  The beast lowered its head:  foul breath in his face, teeth as long as small swords, salvia drizzling on his flesh, hissing and popping like acid. 

Yet he didn’t cry out.  Pay any price, he’d said, and he meant it. 

IN THE LAND OF BURNING SANDS, THIS IS MY FORM.  THIS IS MY GIFT TO YOU.  LET her SHINING SYMBOL REMIND YOU OF YOUR PURPOSE.  WELCOME TO KELDAR, MY MOST FAITHFUL SERVANT.

The dragon opened its jaws wide and closed its mouth over his head.  He couldn’t help but scream as the beast devoured him.

#

He opened his eyes and winced at the brilliant sun making its climb in the sky.  So hot, so fierce; he’d never felt the heat of the sun so miserably until he’d come to…

Startled, he jerked upright.  A black dragon was sprawled on the sands, already decaying.  The smell of roasted meat was thick in his nostrils.  A young man hacked beneath the beast’s chin and removed two small dripping sacs.  By his baggy trousers, fancy coat and wide-brimmed hat shading his eyes from the miserable heat, he must be a Far Illione trader.  Likely a well-to-do son with decent breeding, making a dollar or two for his family, hoping to find a way to escape this hellhole and make his way to court.

How do I know this?

“A foul beast.”  The man grimaced.  “Prepare the oil, and then I’ll ensure it’s delivered directly to her hands.”  He turned, pale eyes sharp as steel.  “What’s the matter?”

He blinked at the other man, trying to decide whether he could trust him or not.  Nausea burned up his throat.  His entire body screamed with remembered pain from rending teeth and claws.  He distinctly remembered a dragon eating him, ripping him limb from limb, but then the dragon had folded up, somehow, and slipped…inside out

Ice picks darted deep into his skull and he couldn’t stifle the cry of pain.

“Can you keep your part of the bargain?”

“What…”  He swallowed, wincing at the blades shredding his dry throat.  “What bargain?”

The other man harrumphed and squatted beside him.  He didn’t neglect to note the blade in the man’s hand, stained with blood.  The putrid musk leaking from the sacs made him gag.

 “You’re going to make a seductive oil that the High Queen of the Green Lands will find very, very amusing to be sure,” the man spoke slowly, as if he were too stupid to understand.  “Then you must find a way to get your lazy dirty hide to Shanhasson, into her Court, and then, ultimately, into her bed.  Simple, iyeh?” 

The last word was spat forcefully, a mockery, if only he knew what it meant.

Breathing deeply, he forced his body to accept the foreign odors of this place:  the rotting dragon, the stink of its glands dripping some noxious fluid onto the blasted sands; the rank body odor of the man beside him; and the scent of his own body, sweat mixed with an exotic spice he couldn’t quite place. 

It smelled…right, that scent, soothing his unease.  It was his scent, blending with the reek of the dragon until even it smelled right.

Mine. 

His stomach calmed, as well as his mind.  The High Queen of the Green Lands was definitely someone he knew.  The dragon had surely been a dream.  Now, if he could only remember…

“Tell me, my young friend,” he began casually, but the trader’s eyes widened with shock.

“Your voice.”  Suspicion narrowed the trader’s eyes and he drew back warily.  “No Keldari talks like that.”

He kept his face smooth and unconcerned, even though his mind lurched.  Keldar, yes, the place of dragons, poisoned sands, and savages.  He glanced down and noted the rough black garb he wore, the curved blade on the sand beside him, covered in dried blood.  Lightly, he touched his head, trying to remember how he’d killed the dragon.  “The dragon must have knocked me unconscious.  I’m afraid I don’t remember much at all.  What’s my name?”

The trader inched backward, his hands smoothing the fine linen of his shirt.  “Mykal.”   

A dull black ring on the man’s right hand sucked at the brutal sunlight, a black hole of evil that made him narrow his gaze in recognition.  Odd, wasn’t it, that he recognized a ring but not his supposed name? 

“You’re Mykal tal’Mamba.”

Ah, it was beginning to come back to him.  Tal, chief, he knew, of the tribe of Mambas.  Appropriately named, to be sure, for the mamba was the deadliest snake in all the desert.  Before the thought had even crystallized in his mind, his body exploded up with the curved blade in his hand.  He knocked the young man to his back and planted a knee on his throat.  “I’ll uphold this bargain, munakur, else the sands swallow me for all time.”

Wheezing, the man flailed at him with the knife, but Mykal effortlessly blocked the blade with his own.  This man had never been skilled with a blade; he knew that, now, as he also knew that he himself could dance the blades with any warrior on the sands and best him.  Cocking his head, he let his gaze travel down the man’s fancy clothing to fine leather boots and back up. 

His gaze stopped on the ring.  He stared a moment, and then deliberately examined the dragon corpse.  Its left front paw had been hacked, its claw missing.  “I believe you took something that belongs to me.”

Babbling choked entreaties, the man’s cries rose to a wail as the scimitar cut through his pinky.  Mykal picked up one of the leaking sacs and dropped it into the man’s wounded hand.  He howled, heels drumming on the sands, but the fluid cauterized the bleeding stump.

“Go to Shanhasson.”  Mykal claimed both sacs for himself and shook the severed finger from the ring.  Closing his eyes, he slipped it onto his left hand.  The ring fit his finger perfectly, as he expected.  Sands shifted within him, settling, filling up the empty spots of his memory.  Without opening his eyes, he unhooked the leather packet–which he now remembered preparing with his own hands–from his belt and dropped it onto the trader’s chest.  “Trade my oil to Her Majesty.”

He let the young man scramble away, cradling his wounded hand to his chest.  His pretty white shirt was ruined, stained by blood and burned by the dragon musk. 

Raising his voice, Mykal yelled after the fleeing trader.  “Tell Shannari dal’Dainari that soon I’ll soar over her Shining Walls!”  He rubbed his thumb over the ring and dropped his voice to a whisper.  “I have a purpose.” 

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Project Management: Evaluating Your Progress

Have you heard the quote that a high percentage of people who write down their goals actually succeed?  That’s only part of the secret to success.  The other part:  evaluating your progress.

It does you no good to write down detailed, measurable, attainable goals if you never check your progress and make adjustments.  I used to avoid this step because, quite frankly, I hate failure.  I made massive, impossible lists, and then I never wanted to see how little I actually accomplished, so I just worked like a busy bee and never sat down and really thought about what I was doing.

It’s much easier for me now because I have finally learned how to prioritize my lists.  I still have an impossible amount I want to get done, but I’m really only going to be disappointed if I don’t accomplish my MUST DO items.  That list is smaller, manageable, and easily evaluated.

For example, this week, my highest priority goal is to revise 100 pages of Return to Shanhasson.  It’s measurable.  It should be doable in one week.  Just editing 20 pages a day will give me the weekend off if I so desire, and I already knew the opening was pretty solid, so I wasn’t going to have to rewrite massive sections.

Now last night before  I went to bed, I evaluated my goal.  I have 55 pages finished out of 100.  I’m 55% done, I still have 3-5 days to work on this item, so I’m in really good shape.

Today, I have two choices.

  • I can keep pushing forward on the revision and get it done quicker.
  • I can take a look at my ROCKSTAR goals for the week and month to see if I want to get some progress done there.

Before each writing session today, I’ll take a quick look at my plan and see what I want to do.  Tentatively, I’m shooting for another 10-20 pages of revisions today, but I’d also really like to get a first draft of Victor’s query letter prepared.

So take a few minutes and evaluate your progress.  Are you on track?  Do you need to speed up or allocate more time to your projects?  Do you have a half hour to spare for a ROCKSTAR goal?

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Revision Hell: Laying the Foundation

As I said yesterday, I’m attempting the first pass smoothing of this revision as I make my initial readthru with notebook and pens handy.  Obviously, I’m not going to bother smoothing sections that I already suspect I will cut, but this gives me a chance to spruce as I go.  After reading chapter one, I have 3 things to check on my list and I’m pretty happy with the opening itself — at feat indeed, because I usually battle the opening several times.

The foundation has been laid for this story — it just needs a bit of the mortar knocked off and tidied.  As I read, I’m making the following kinds of changes:

Repetitious sentence structure.  e.g. starting too many sentences with the same noun or pronoun.  See Spot sit.  See Spot run.  Run, Spot, run.  *yawn*

Misplaced modifiers.  I’m pretty good at catching these as I write, but it never hurts.  e.g. Standing aside, the open door was an invitation he couldn’t refuse.  (not from Return – I made up on the fly so it sucks)  So the door stood aside?

Incorrect MRUs.  e.g. according to Swain, feeling, then action, then dialogue.  Sometimes the dialogue comes first in my mind, so I type it, and then record the action/feeling.  I tidy these up now.

Before:

“Even at night?”  Sal asked, tossing his hair back over his shoulder.

After:

Sal tossed his hair back over his shoulder.  “Even at night?”

Wasted words, especially in dialogue and action tags.  When I have an action inside dialogue, there’s no need to add a dialogue tag, said, etc. 

Before:

“Great Vulkar, it’s an abomination,” he cursed, drawing his rahke only to shove it back in its sheath.  “How could any man or woman think to kill a child?”

After:

“Great Vulkar, it’s an abomination!”  He drew his rahke only to shove it back into its sheath.  “How could any man or woman think to kill a child?”

 

23 pages down!

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Revision Hell Begins

I stand at the formidable wrought-iron gates leading beneath the Mountain.  I’ve delayed too long already.  This novel has been complete for a year, just waiting for me to find the time — and courage — to enter into…  da da DUM ….

Revision Hell.

Okay, in all seriousness, this particular Revision Hell won’t be as bad as I’m making it sound.  I have a very solid and detailed (105K) first draft prepared.  It’s the third in a trilogy so I’d darned well better know my characters and my world right now.  Just as there are Nine Circles of Hell in Dante’s Inferno, there are various layers to Revision Hell, too.  For this particular work, I already know I have the following challenges to resolve:

1. A few scene holes, where I knew what happened but just wasn’t feeling it.  One is a fight scene, one was a potential sex scene that may be cut (e.g. if I didn’t need it written to finish the story, then maybe I don’t really need it!!)

2. A few wrong turns and rambling paths.  Even in a well-plotted story, it’s easy to write a scene and then later realize that maybe it wasn’t the best option.  I have that problem with a few scenes, in particular  with one  character, Jorah.  I don’t need them, they add nothing to the main plot of the story, and trivialize his character into a LKH stock character, which is not what I want.

3. Dropped threads. It’s like sending your character off with a backpack and then realizing she dropped it somewhere along the way — or needed it and I had no idea where it was.  (Inside joke: this happened with Isabella in Beautiful Death.)  For Return, where is Wind?  Sadly, I thought nothing of this special horse character until the very end, when I realized I had a way to make the ending incredibly powerful, but I had no idea what had happened to her.

4. Texture. This is a tough one for me, because I can add details, emotion, and worldbuilding all day long, and I’ve already got a 105K story.  However, there are a few scenes/details I’ve been thinking about the past few months that could really add depth and heart to the story, and in the end, that’s exactly what this story is about.  The heart.

I’ll post revision tricks as I think of them this month and next, since I have two full-length manuscripts to revise and kick out of the nest.  For now, this dark road descending beneath the Mountain requires a key to pass the gates, and that key, is a read-through.

  • Grab a notebook and pen and make notes as you go, recording page number or simply adding a comment in the Word file.
  • Since these revisions aren’t massive, I’m going to save time and smooth sentences and polish as I go.  This won’t be the final pass, but it’s like sanding a plank with the first, rougher grade sand paper.
  • Note all research items and find those answers.  For this story, that means I need to dig through Rose and Road looking for forgotten character names or places, etc.  I don’t have a series bible for this story — it’s all in my head.  Or not, in this case.

My MUST DO goal for this week then becomes:

  • Revise the first 100 pages
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Finish the Damned Book

Last night, I finished my 7th full-length novel, 9th counting the novellas.  Victor, the NaNoWriMo novel, is finished at 73K and before anyone asks when they can read it, it needs a ton of work before it’ll be presentable!  But the first major hurdle is done.

There was a time in my writing journey where I seriously doubted I would ever be able to finish a book again.  For one full year, I didn’t finish a single new novel.  Each time, I begin to wonder if maybe the magic is gone.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe this will be the book that breaks me.

Well, I’m not broken yet.

Victor pushed me into places that were hard to go.  He wants things I can’t possibly understand.  Deep down, he fears he’s a very, very bad man, and at the core, unlovable.  Dealing with his fears was exhausting and yes, exhilarating.  Each book is hard for a different reason and teaches me something new.  I guess Victor had to show me that I can’t worry about people may think.  I can’t get too wrapped up in how politically incorrect, vulgar, or risky a character may be.  I just have to write the book and trust the magic not to fail me.

And even though Victor was making me doubt whether I would ever get to his endzone, his sister started blabbing in my head last night and her hero showed up.  Well, at least one of them.  ::ahem::

Final line from Victor, subject to revision:

“Watch the show and see for yourself.”

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Project Management: Stepping Stones

Hopefully you’ve taken your Dream List and broken it down into your top MUST DO priorities with a few ROCKSTAR goals just in case.  Now the question you should be asking yourself is HOW you can reach your goals.  

I’m reminded of the scene in The Mummy when O’Connell and Benny are yelling at each other across the river after the boat catches on fire.  Did you find yourself on the wrong side of the river?  Right now, the task may seem insurmountable. 

That’s because you’re looking at the river and letting it become an ocean in your mind. 

Instead of setting up a permanent camp of despair on the wrong side of the river, pick your number one priority item on your MUST DO list.  For me, that’s finish the first draft of Victor, the NaNoWriMo book.  Begin to make a list of all the things you need to do to meet that goal.  Anything, no matter how little, that you can do to accomplish the task.

So for Victor, I know I’m into Act III and the Resolution of the story.  That means I have a bunch of threads I need to tie up.

  • I need to tie up the romance between Victor and Shiloh, make sure they’re comforted and secure after the final showdown in the show.
  • I need to show how the trap Victor laid for the spy is revealed and resolved.
  • I need to reward Shiloh with the elixir, the very thing she created the show in order to win.
  • I need a clever, fun, sexy ending.

So I have about 4 scenes, give or take, that need to be written in order to finish my task.  I’m guessing this is less than 5K, and so I should definitely be able to finish by 12/7, which was my goal.

Maybe your goal is revisions.  I have three types of revisions I need to work on this month, and each will require a different set of tasks in order to accomplish them.  Maybe you like to read thru first and make notes as you go, and then tackle the revision.  Maybe you like to read online — or from a hardcopy with sticky notes.  Whatever your process, make a list of all the things that will enable that process and make you successful.

Maybe your goal is worldbuilding or plotting a new story.  (I have a ROCKSTAR goal for this.)  So my stepping stones are going to look something like:

  • Brainstorm and research.  These two often go hand-in-hand for me when beginning a story, until one particular element speaks the most to me.
  • Listen for the character(s) to show up.  Usually about the time I’ve settled on an interesting research item, a character starts blabbing in my ear about how cool all this stuff is.
  • Begin building the character.  (See the Character Clinic, the Emotional Toolbox, etc.)
  • Begin plotting the journey.
  • Write backstory.
  • Create a world bible (if the story needs it).

So pull out your A1 – MUST DO priority and figure out what step to tackle first.  Now you can cross small items off the list and feel like you’re actually paddling your way across the river, instead of stranded on the wrong side.  Don’t tell me you’re waiting for 2010, either – we’ve still got plenty of time to cross a dozen things off the list in December!

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Giveaway: Find Gregar!

I’ve had the idea for a very long time to create character cards for the cast of the Shanhasson series.  Since Rose (book 1) is releasing in print Dec/Jan, I thought it would be the perfect time to get a really nice trio:  Rhaekhar, Shannari, and Gregar, the three main characters of the entire series.

They’re the heart and soul of the Shanhasson trilogy, and to be honest, the heart and soul of my writing, but I’ll come back to that in a minute.

So the challenge then becomes the models for these characters.  Shannari is easy — she’s on the cover of Rose.

Rhaekhar

Rhaekhar is also easy.  Back when we were first working on the cover for Rose, Deena found Rhaekhar.  I looked at him and I recognized him.  I mean, I wouldn’t have been surprised at all if this man walked up and introduced himself as Rhaekhar.  The look of smug warrior arrogance on his face is perfect.  He’s Khul of the Nine Camps of the Sha’Kae al’Dan and carries the most honor on the Plains.  This man’s physique makes me believe he could challenge any warrior and win, hands down.

Of course, the hair isn’t right.  The Sha’Kae al’Dan warriors all wear their hair long, braided at the temples rather like Mel in Braveheart, but the rest is perfect.

So now, the question becomes:  who is Gregar?

Let me give you a little background.  To date, Gregar is my favorite character ever.  Yes, he beats out Conn and Victor, but to be honest, a little bit of him is in every male character I’ve written post Rose and Beautiful Death.  Why?

Gregar is my Muse.  He’s the one who drags me into the Well, the dark, watery place of inspiration from which all (my) stories flow.  Don’t get me wrong:  Conn is his own person.  Victor is his own person.  They’re not carbon copies of Gregar by any means.

No one lives up to Gregar’s sheer wickedness and danger, because the man has NO LIMITS.

Every time something a little bit politically incorrect pops up in a character, it’s Gregar’s fault.

Every time a character begins to walk on the Dark Side, it’s Gregar.

Every time the emotion is so raw and painful it feels like I’m going to rip your heart to shreds… Yep.  That’s Gregar.

So you can see why his image for this character card is so important to me.  I’ve looked off and on for years, but I can’t find him.  This is where I hope you can help me.  As much as I’d love to peruse the royalty-free photo sites looking at six-packs and bare chests…I don’t have the time.  Not if I’m going to get Victor whipped (haha) into shape for January submission.

I beg you.  Help me!  Help me find Gregar.  Look high and low.  He’s there, waiting, snickering in the shadows, but hidden from me.  I must find him.

I’ll be posting hints of who Gregar is off and on all month, little snippets from Rose, Road, and if you’re very lucky, perhaps even Return.  To give you the first hint:  if I could cast Gregar with any actor, I’d chose Adrian Paul, hands down.  There’s an episode of the Highlander television series where Duncan has his hair longer, loose down his back and he’s wearing a kilt.  YUM.  That is Gregar, except he’s wearing a red memsha about his hips in place of the kilt.

The Rules:

  • The photo has to be something I can purchase the right to use for promotional material, not a fan picture of Adrian Paul as much as I love them!
  • That means a royalty-free site like istockphoto.com.
  • The fewer clothes the better.  Get your minds out of the gutter!  It’s easier for Deena to manipulate the image to the Sha’Kae al’Dan style if he’s not wearing a shirt.

To suggest a model, e-mail the link to me at joelysueburkhart AT gmail DOT com.  I’ll gather the links and consolidate them in a post for voting and comments later.  Everyone who sends me a link with a suggestion will be entered to win the following prizes:

  • A $20 gift certificate to any online book retailer of your choice.
  • A set of the three character cards once we have the finished product.

The person who truly does find Gregar for me will receive the Grand Prize:

  • A $30 gift certificate to any online book retailer of your choice.
  • A set of the three character cards once we have the finished product.
  • As I add character cards, I’ll send you the new ones (e.g. I’d really like to have Dharman, Sal, and Mykal before all is said and done).
  • A signed print copy of Rose.
  • A copy of The Road to Shanhasson and Return to Shanhasson (once it’s released) in any electronic format.
  • And since this is soooo important to me, a signed print copy of Road and Return when they’re released (but this may be years away).

I’ll mail these prizes anywhere on the planet because who knows exactly where Gregar may be?

I’m deliberately not specifying a deadline for this giveaway because I really, really want to find the right Gregar, no matter how long it takes.  However, I’ll at least pick a winner for the $20 gift certificate by Dec. 31, 2009, even if we haven’t found Gregar yet.  The grand prize will not have a deadline on it.