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Ode to Rhetorical Queries

For Mr. Nathan Bransford who writes “Well, I suppose it would work for someone to write an ode to queries beginning with rhetorical questions, but so far I have been spared that unfortunate spectacle.”  Although I don’t think this ode will bring out the snide comment gun.  I hope.  *wg*

Have you ever wondered why
Your query letter fails?
Why Agent mutters die, die, DIE!
As soon as he reads your mail,
And never asks for a full?
Have you ever taken the time
To read his wants and desires?
Or do you simply shoot the bull?
So why demand his precious dime
Spent wading through your mire?

Did you ever stop to think
That your query is one in a million?
Not a shining star on the brink;
Rather, a haze of vermillion
O’er his eyes in that slushy slog.
Yet another lame un-proofed query
To Miss Nate or Mr. Jane;
Fiction novel — bring out the flog!
Is it any wonder his eyes are bleary
As he reads your penned bane?

Why set his hair on fire
For material he doesn’t represent–
Instant rejection so dire;
Into the trash your manuscript went–
When a quick search earns his affection?
Can we not all agree
To cease the inane letters?
Why can’t we simply follow directions?
No rhetoricals, his fervent plea.
So why aren’t these queries getting any better?

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Forcing the Work

I’ve got too different angles of “force” I’m thinking about at the moment.  Forcing a bulb (to make it bloom early) and forcing something against its will.  I’m doing both at the moment and neither is going very well.

I planned to plot the rest of Vicki this month and she just doesn’t wanna.  She doesn’t want me to plot.  It’s the oddest thing.  Every time I sit down to think about hero’s journey, dark moment, whatever, she just digs in her heels and clamps her mouth shut. 

So to get back at this mutiny, I made her explore her relationship with Mama Connagher.  *evil cackle*  Vicki still hasn’t forgiven me, but I have a pretty good understanding of why she and Mama are at odds.  It goes way back to an event barely mentioned in Dear Sir and has nothing to do with the act itself, but the way Vicki felt betrayed…by her mother. 

Yet she still doesn’t want me to plot.  So I guess I’m just going to open up her file and pick away at her until she loosens up her tongue and we get momentum back.  I’d be really happy to finish her first draft by the end of August.  (August goal #1)

On the other end of the spectrum, I’m trying to force-start a story early.  By early, I mean I have something else in the series to write first, but I really want to know these details.  I want to have it in my mind now, so that as I write the intermediate work, I can lay bread crumbs.  I have the underlying mythology and research already done…I’ve just got to find the story (August goal #2).  I need it to bloom NOW not in six months.

I have the hero but have absolutely no idea who his heroine is.  I don’t know anything about her at all.  Not her race, background, name, story goal, NOTHING.  I know the theme of the story, but even that hasn’t helped.  I know the hero’s goal, but I still have no idea how this woman would be in opposition to him.  Wherefore art thou, O heroine?  Don’t make me stick you in the dark freezer for a few months to trick you into blooming early!  (My next trick is to play tarot again and see if I get any clues.)

P.S. Don’t forget to enter the BREAK 20 GIVEAWAY.  Right now I’m going to get off super easy — I was afraid I’d end up breaking the bank!  Your chances of winning one of 2 $50 gift certificates are pretty good because I haven’t had many people formally enter.

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Vacation Reads Week 4

With my novella done, I was able to participate this week!  Check the main hub for links (later today and this weekend as the posts go up) to read my post about The Bloodgate Guardian.


In this collection, Cindy Lynn Speer, author of The Chocolatier’s Wife and editor of StereoOpticon, a collection of re-told fairy tales, gives us several new stories and an interesting look at the classic ‘Cinderella’ as well. Cindy’s stories examine the roles of women, our expectations, and the aftermath of the classic happily ever after in interesting, sometimes disturbing, ways.

Every Word I Speak: Most of us know the fairy tale of the girl who, because of her kindness, was given the gift of gems and flowers that fell from her mouth with every word she spoke, but what happens afterward? Who can she trust and what will they want from her? This version of the story is a dark and troubling tale, and absolutely delicious for those of us who like our fairy tales unmarred by a Disney ending.

What Will I Do When This Dream is Over?: Matilda is a unicorn, calmly cropping the grass in Emmy’s front yard. Hank is her ex-boyfriend, who can’t see her anymore because, she’s afraid, he’s angry with her for not putting out. Emmy’s been preparing for the day Matilda would show up all her life. It’s been like a dream, always there. She’s been called upon to do a job, to save the world, and now it’s time. Emmy’s off on an adventure. She hopes she’ll win, beat the bad guys, save the day, but if she does, what happens after?

The Fortunate Ones: Once upon a time, there lived a people who were always fortunate. And then they discovered that their fortune resided in their women, so they turned them into a commodity to be bought and sold. Annabelle is living the dream with her very successful husband, except he beats her sometimes, when he’s angry, when things don’t go right. She doesn’t like knowing she’s a commodity. She doesn’t like thinking like that. But she has to, and it’s up to her to save herself. If she can. If she can take her fortune back into her own hands.

But Can You Let Him Go?:The fairy godmother who provides Cinderella with her pretty clothes and shoes and the ride to the ball is paying penance for her mistakes. When she’s not passing judgement on foolish and avaricious humans, she’s hunting for Cinderella, the Cinderella in this tale, at this time, and the handsome prince who will give Cinderella her happily ever after. She needs to get it right. She needs to save them both. If she doesn’t, she’ll never see her people again. Her sister, however, is determined to see her fail, and she’ll do all in her power to make that come to pass.

Deadly Lucidity by Julie Achterhoff

Caught in a tangled web of dreams and nightmares, Marie Reilly is being hunted by a psychopath in the dream world she can’t escape. Her single ally, a Ranger named Murphy, may be her only hope. He must help her reach the Great Fortress, where they’ve been told there is a way back to her reality. Together, they fight their way through the twists and turns of Marie’s mind so she can have her life back. But what of their growing passion for each other? How can Marie leave the man she has come to love behind in this nightmarish world he has called home as far back as he can remember?

What have you learned about being an author since you started writing professionally, Julie?

    Gosh, I’ve learned so much! I started out reading a couple of books on how to write and taking a women’s literature class at the local community college. That was ten years ago. I started writing professionally three years ago, starting with a novella titled Native Vengeance, which was published on the Demon Minds website for their Halloween edition that year. That experience
taught me that I might have what it took to write a full length novel. I started out small because I thought I’d test the waters and see if anyone thought I could write well. I was pleased to get my first acceptance letter, as well as recognition for my writing skills. Learning that someone else enjoys what you’ve written is one of the biggest thrills I’ve ever experienced!
    I had some idea because I got an “A” on my class final, which was to write something. I went way overboard and wrote an entire three-act play titled Angel in the House! I wrote that in six weeks, too! So that gave me some validation about my writing. That’s when I also found out there just wasn’t enough time to write anything and homeschool my five children at the same time
    So I waited until most of them were out on their own to start writing my first novel, Quantum Earth. While writing this book, I learned all about the predictions for the year 2012 from the Mayan calendar. I also learned that I could create characters and scenes that would last through to the very end. It took me several months to write Quantum Earth. It takes up a lot of your day to
day thinking to write a book. It keeps you up late at night, too.
    Then I learned about writing query letters and synopsises to send out to publishers and agents. They have to really hook them from the very start. I learned that different publishers require different things from a potential author. Some want just a query at first, some want a query and a synopsis, and some want these plus some pages from your manuscript. You absolutely have to
follow what they want exactly. If you don’t do this part just right, that alone will cause them to say no. I found out that some publishers are very nice, sometimes even giving you advice, but some of them aren’t very nice, and can say some rude things to you.
    I had to find sources for publishers. I used Writer’s Market and Duotrope mostly. I learned to keep track of whom I sent out to so I wouldn’t duplicate myefforts. Then I learned the pretty painful feeling of being rejected over and over again. That was very hard for me because I don’t take rejection well! Those were a tough few months of sending out my work very carefully, and getting nothing back but negative replies.
    I had already learned that there were people who liked my writing, so I tried not to give up hope. I tried to see every no as one step closer to that magical word, “yes.”  Finally, after sending out at least fifty queries, synopsises, and/or pages, I got a very big yes from an e-book publisher. She said Quantum Earth was exactly what she was interested in and loved it from start to finish. But one thing I had learned was that e-books were just sent by email. They are not really a solid book you can hold in your hand. This put me
off a bit, so I contacted one of the publishers who said they wanted more about Quantum Earth and asked them if they were interested in publishing it. They said yes, too! Now I had a decision to make, and not much information about the pros and cons. But I knew I wanted to see my book in print as a real book, so I ended up having to be the one to say no to the first publisher. That was a twist. She was very disappointed, but understood.
    So it happened that All Things That Matter Press was the one to publish my first real book. A year later they published my second book, Deadly Lucidity. For this book I learned all about lucid dreaming, among other things. During the time I’ve been with ATTM Press I’ve learned so much from Deb and Phil Harris. They run this small press, and I couldn’t be happier with them. Deb has taught
me everything I could possibly want to know about editing, and Phil has taught me all about promoting books and creating a name for yourself. They are experts at what they do. An author has to learn how to sell their own books by doing interviews, blogging, publicity, creating an author platform, and many other ways to get people to buy their books. It’s not an easy process. I work on this
almost every day.
    I’ve also learned so much from other authors, especially the ones that are also published at ATTM Press. We have a yahoo group where we keep in close touch, sharing ideas and supporting one another. Another source for my education is my friends on facebook who are also writers. I have learned a lot from these and other sources, and continue to learn what it takes to be a writer.  Now I’m at the point where I am starting to do some teaching, myself. I recently got an offer to teach at a writer’s retreat next January in Georgia. I’m very excited about that, and hope that I can help others on the path to writing.
    As of this writing I am finishing up my next book, Earthwalker, which will be available by Christmas.
Link to video trailer for Deadly Lucidity:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/video/687534/book_video_trailer_deadly_lucidity.html?cat=38

Link to Blog:
http://earthwalkr.wordpress.com

Link to buy Deadly Lucidity:
http://www.amazon.com/Deadly-Lucidity-Julie-Achterhoff/dp/0984421904/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_1
 or
http://allthingsthatmatterpress.com
Link to BookBuzzr preview of Deadly Lucidity:
http://www.freado.com/book/6046/Deadly-Lucidity

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Sourdough Fail

My lovely sister in law (Aunt BB) doesn’t believe I’ve ever cooked something I had to throw out, so here’s another example just from yesterday.

I posted last week that we were going to try homemade sourdough and that I had the starter bubbling on the counter.  I fed the starter for a week, stirring and nurturing it (although I did fudge a little in the beginning and added real not “wild” yeast).  Yesterday, I decided it was time to give a loaf of bread a try. 

My first goof was that I forgot to make the sponge the night before.  The recipe I was using said to leave it in the oven overnight, but the two cups of milk…overnight….just didn’t sound appealing. So I did it right before work and put it in the oven (with the light on) for a couple of hours.  At lunch, I added the rest of the ingredients.  Now since I don’t really like homemade bread that’s all whole wheat, I decided to go half and half with regular white flour.  I mixed it all up, wet and gloppy as advertised, and popped it back in the oven to rise.

It didn’t quite reach the top of the bowl (so not even close to doubled) but I had plenty to pour into my large 1 1/2 lb loaf pan about 2-3 hours later.  I lost track of time in the afternoon so I’m not sure how long exactly.  I popped it back in the oven to rise for a while, and when it reached the top of the loaf pan, I started baking.

Now I’ve had problems with this new loaf pan before.  It’s a commercial one and supposed to be great, but I’ve never been able to get the loaf DONE.  I thought my mistake was taking it out at the same time I took out my 1-lb loaf pan (forgetting it was bigger), but I made a mental note this time to watch the bread carefully.  After 35 min. the top was definitely hard and dark and I didn’t dare leave it in much longer.  The bread had bubbled up over the side and some burned onto my oven.  Grrr.  Talk about adding insult to injury!  I cut around the edges and turned the pan out over my rack…

and the loaf fell into half, with the middle still a gooey nasty mess.

So here we are with half the cooked loaf in the pan, half out on the rack way too gooey to eat (this dough had eggs too), with the top burned, and the inside of my oven nasty to boot.  To top it off, I broke off a corner of the cooked loaf and about tossed my cookies into the trash along with the nasty bread.  It was sooooo sour.  Gah.  Not even close to tasty despite the 1/4 c. honey.

Total fail.  I almost chucked the starter into the trash too, but I’ve been taking care of it a WEEK.  So I’m going to try again, but this time, I’m trusting Suzanne McMinn’s recipe.  Yeah, it’s white flour, and so not as healthy, but right now, I’m shooting for EDIBLE.

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Review: The Bloodgate Guardian

Thanks to Kait Nolan for passing this review along. From Saucybelle at A Taste For E-Books , “four dark chocolate chunk cookies for a delicious, spicy, and kinda dark read.  Bravo Joely!”

Burkhart presents an action-packed read that I couldn’t put down (we won’t talk about what I didn’t do at work just so I could finish it).  The mythology was beautifully woven into the story in a way that–if I didn’t quite get everything because I hadn’t heard it before–was well enough explained that I didn’t feel I was missing anything.  I absolutely identified with the heroine, this brilliant and flawed “UnIndiana Jones”, and adored watching her come into her own and go toe to toe with Ruin.  And Ruin.  Delicious. Sigh…there are not enough big, broad muscular sexy priests out there.  Muscles, brains, and magic?  What’s not to love?  Burkhart totally puts the characters through the wringer with this book with at least two cases where it looks like there’s no way they could prevail.  They totally earn their HEA.

Thank you so much, Saucybelle!

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Vicki’s Wordle

Once again, Paperback Writer is inspiring this post with her Cloud Profiles post today.  Since I’m working on Vicki’s story, I wrote down keywords for all three main characters, and then changed the color palette to reflect their personal colors in the word cloud.  What’s interesting is that Wordle doesn’t know which color to give to which word/character, so some of Elias’s words come out in Jesse’s color, etc. But it makes me think about similarities and cross overs. Just because I gave the word “lost” to Jesse, doesn’t mean that Elias and Vicki aren’t lost.  In fact, they are.

Wordle: Vicki Jesse Elias

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Review: The Bloodgate Guardian – Recommended Read!


From CK2S Kwips & Kritiques,

THE BLOODGATE GUARDIAN is without a doubt one of the best books I have read this year so far. The combination of intense action, phenomenal world building, and multidimensional characters kept me up far too late as I couldn’t put it down until I’d finished it. Highly recommended!

Read Debbie’s entire review here.  Thank you so much!

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Vacation Reads – Week 3


REQUIEM by Heather S. Ingemar

Hattie Locke has a gift: when she sings, the dead dig themselves from their graves to listen. As a death-siren, her life has always been this way.

Then the dead begin to show up in numbers far beyond expected. With each song she sings, they grow pushy and demanding, rushing the stage to reach her. Trapped in a place where her dreams of music become her nightmares, Hattie is left with nowhere to turn.

But then she meets a boy, who promises freedom from her curse.

Now Hattie wonders: is ridding herself of her voice worth losing the music she’s lived to create?

Heather, tell us a bit about yourself and your novella, “Requiem”.

In some ways, Hattie reminds me of myself. I came from a musical family, and I delved right into all of it. By the time I was a sophomore in high school, I’d mastered seven different instruments, and it was pretty much thought a guarantee that I’d pursue Julliard, or Berkeley, or some other prestigious music school. Imagine everyone’s surprise when I decided to major in English lit!

Thankfully, I had a more-or-less understanding family who allowed me the space to pursue my words (they knew I wasn’t leaving music completely, and they were right; I still play now and then) – however, I faced extreme opposition from others. It was these experiences that I drew on in creating Hattie’s unusual situation. What if my family hadn’t let me do my own thing? What if they reacted like these vehement strangers and teachers and friends who all thought they knew best for me?

Combine that with my morbid streak (zombies! death! magic!), and “Requiem” was born.


DEADFALL by Shaun Jeffrey

A team of mercenaries race to an abandoned mining village to rescue two children held hostage by rogue ex-soldiers. But the kidnappers are a ruse, the real threat more terrifying than any of them could imagine.

Aided by a couple of unsuspecting eco-warriors, mercenary team leader Amber Redgrave must fight to survive against foes that don’t sleep and don’t feel pain.

Now as the body count rises, so do the stakes, and when the dead won’t stay dead, there’s going to be hell to pay.

Shaun, what are some ways in which you promote your work? Do you find that these add to or detract from your writing time?

As a writer, promotion is one of the hardest things to do as you’re competing against thousands of other authors for a reader’s attention. To promote my work, I participate in things such as this blog tour. I post on message boards. I maintain a presence on Myspace, Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, Goodreads and other sites. I help by sending out review copies. I do interviews in magazines and online. But it all takes time and obviously detracts from the writing side of things. I don’t think it matters whether you’re published by a major publisher or a small press one, most authors need to help promote their work. Now readers are a major part of this, and I would ask that if anyone has read a book and enjoyed it, they show their appreciation and help by posting a short review on any of the book sites such as Amazon or Goodreads etc, as it goes a long way towards helping an author along what is a long and lonely road. It only takes a couple of minutes, but I’m sure the author concerned would be most grateful.

For more info on my work, please check out www.shaunjeffrey.com


THE AETHER AGE Anthology.

This week’s feature includes a mini-interview with a contributing author, Jaym Gates.

What was it like to write for Aether Age, Jaym?

I have to admit, when I first heard about the Aether Age project, I kind of wrote it off. Like so many other things, I’d heard about it on Twitter, when a couple of guys asked me if I would be involved. At the time, I was in California for a week, on vacation, and heading for some major deadlines.

I said I’d try. I wrote four different starts. My computer crashed, I was trying to put out a wildfire in the writing community I was administrating, I was running too tight on the deadlines as it was. On top of that, it’s been established that I don’t play well in other people’s worlds. I’m an unrepentant devotee of massive, detailed worlds, and had several failed collaborative attempts behind me.

A week before the deadline, I took my retired dinosaur of a computer and hammered out a first draft, a second draft, polished, sent it in 2 days before deadline…before the deadline was extended. The editors asked me if I’d be interested in writing another story. Ok, well, if you insist.

The world of Aether Age is difficult to write in, the first time through. Anything dealing with ancient Egypt or Greece is going to be problematic. The sheer level of detail is boggling, and the confusion. Was this ruler male, female, 1st Dynasty or 20th? Add a complex alternate history, and there are thousands of possibilities. It’s like trying to find the one special blueberry in a 5 pound box.

But, it does get a writer thinking. How would technologies change religion? How would airships change economy? How much horror would you get from mixing an unstable, unknown eternity of space with an endless pantheon of gods?

My stories explored the horror. What happens when criminals and monsters are abandoned on a rock, thousands of miles from anything they know, reliant on an atmosphere that goes away every now and then? What are those shadows in the dark? Where did the legends of Hades come from? What new gods would form in the endless depths of space, and how would they be worshiped?

Join me in the Aether, in the Age of Helios, this fall. It will be the adventure of a lifetime.

Check the master site, http://vacationreads.com for links to more blogs and participating authors’ info.

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Retake Homemade: Lentil Soup

Jane Brody named this recipe appropriately:  My Favorite Lentil Soup.  From her Good Food Book and my all-time favorite soup recipe.

My Favorite Lentil Soup

2 T. olive oil
2 onions, chopped (I only used 1 to hopefully convince the monsters to eat it)
3 carrots, grated or chopped
3/4 tsp. marjoram
3/4 tsp. thyme
2 14oz cans fire-roasted tomatoes, with juice
6-7 cups broth
1/2 tsp coarse salt
black pepper to taste
6 oz dry white wine
2 T. dried parsley
grated cheddar cheese for topping

Heat the oil in a Dutch oven and saute the veggies and herbs for about 5 minutes. Add the tomatoes, broth, and lentils. Bring to a boil then reduce the heat and cover. Simmer for about 1 hour until the lentils are tender. Add the salt, pepper, wine and parsely and simmer for a few more minutes. Top with cheese.

The cheese isn’t necessary, but it helps make the lentils a complete protein and is very tasty.

This recipe freezes really well.

Retake Homemade!

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Behind the Name: Wyre

Paperback Writer gave me this idea for my post today thanks to hers, By Any Other Name. I thought I’d share with you how I came up with the name Lady Doctor Wyre.

I have a female character in a skewed Regency setting with a science fiction touch.  I wanted a name that blended both of those elements–no matter how crazy that sounds–which also hinted at the underlying world. So I took a piece of paper and drew a line down the middle.  On the left, I started writing all the key words and inspirations behind the science of my world:

Doctor Who, nanobots, assemblers, dissemblers, etc.

It felt rather silly, but since I had written “Who” I wrote down the other journalistic questions: Why, Where, What, How.

On the other side of the paper, I started writing down all the popular and known names involving the Regency elements.

Jane Austen, Sense & Sensibility, Emma, Lizzie…but none of these were really working for me.  Until I hit:

Jane Eyre.

Eyre.  I really liked the spelling and of course I love the story. I let my eyes scan back over the SF list and landed on those W words, and all the sudden, I had it.

Wyre

Lady implies the Regency setting. Doctor W hopefully resonates with Doctor Who and implies the SF elements and Charlotte’s background. Wyre is a combination of Eyre and Who.

There you have it!

No snippet today — the novella is only about 30K and I can’t share too much of it. However, I did submit it yesterday and we’ll have to wait and see if it’s a go or not.