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What Are Edits Like?

Shannon Stacey blogged a few days ago about her edits, and I loved her post so much I decided to write one too. I’ve had the honor to work with six editors over the years, and every single project — even if I’ve worked with that editor before — has required a different amount of work.

Just last week, I made two full editing passes through Return to Shanhasson, one of my longest novels ever (over 100K). Despite its size, the edit process was quick.  My new editor, Lisa, requested several word changes or clarifications, but over all, I didn’t need to add any new scenes or delete anything major. I’ve lived in the Shanhasson world the longest, and when I wrote that book, I didn’t need an outline. I didn’t need a series bible. It’s all in my head, because I’ve dreamed and breathed it for years. Writing Return was almost stream of conscious writing, and thanks to my diligent beta readers, most typos or places of hesitation/confusion were already resolved.

On the other hand, I also began working on Golden edits last week for Alissa (which incidently went through pretty much the same round of beta readers). This work is much shorter (right at 20K), and I’ve spent DAYS on it.  Okay, two weeks.  Not constantly, obviously, but days of thinking about the characters and how to add some build-up at the beginning.  Mulling over clarifications. Researching a few touches to make this story even more special.

I’ve made four major revision passes.

The first time, I accepted or addressed all the easy changes.  Took one evening.

The second pass, I went through her comments one by one and made those changes.  Sometimes it was a simple rewording of a sentence; other times I deleted or added clarification to support motivation.  Even though some of these changes were literally a single word, they took much more thought to ensure I made the correct choices.  This pass took me three evenings.

The next pass was the hardest. After thinking about it for almost a week, I came up with some new scenes I wanted to add at the beginning.  Adding is HARD, let me tell you.  My mind decided I’d already told this story — why did I want to make up more?  Those details had to be meaningful, or else why hadn’t I already written it?  Of course writing the new sections was only the beginning.  You know that whole butterfly effect:  make a simple change in the first chapter and every other chapter has a trickle-down change.  I worked all weekend and Monday night on these changes, well past my bedtime because I was almost done.

The final pass has actually been numerous read throughs.  Before I send a book back in, I like to create an “approved” copy with all comments deleted and all changes approved.  Then I read for clarity and consistency.  Inevitably, I also find a few formatting issues introduced through track changes (it’s sometimes hard to see double periods, misplaced spaces, etc.).  Since I’d added several sections early on, I read them the most to make sure I hadn’t introduced any other issues.  e.g. if I’d corrected filter words through the rest of the manuscript, it’d be stupid to turn it back in with filter words reintroduced in my new sections. What had I learned then, hmmm?

Literally, I’ve created and read at least six approved copies with minor changes each time.  I promised myself that I could only read it one more time today and then I must submit it, or I’ll just keep tinkering.

Here’s a few stats you might find interesting.  In this 66 page document:

  • Alissa made 115 comments.  A few said something like “Nice line.”  Many others said “awkward, please reword.”
  • The first page has 6 comments and several red changes.
  • There were only 8 pages with no comments or changes. (Athough I might already have accepted her changes on these pages.)
  • In the first pass alone, I deleted about 500 words.
  • In the third pass (when I added new sections at the beginning), I ended up adding about 1700 words back.

I don’t consider myself a beginning writer, so why so many changes?  Did I rush to submit crap?  Absolutely not! 

For one thing, the shorter medium can be much more challenging than a longer novel with plenty of room to dedicate to character arcs, romance arcs, setting, worldbuilding, motivations etc.  For another, this is an entirely new series and technically an entirely new genre (although I’ve written several stories with BDSM).  This story is based on Imperial China, loosely, the Tang Dynasty.  Hello, how much do I know about Imperial China?  Other than my own fascination as a reader, not much. 

I wanted this story to have a historical feel, even though it’s more of a fantasy. I’m not a historical writer, though.  So sometimes I used words that were a bit too modern.  Or I didn’t quite have enough Chinese culture touches (that’s why I did a little more research this week). In trying so very hard to not make cultural or historical mistakes, I committed a few writing sins that I haven’t made in ages (can you say dangling modifers?  *hangs head in shame*).

So this round of edits was WORK.  Wonderful work.  Yes, I’ve been a little stressed and frantic.  Yes, I’ve had moments of doubt (why do you think I haven’t submitted it yet?).  Honestly, it doesn’t matter how many manuscripts I’ve turned in, that first sight of all those red corrections and hundred+ comments makes my stomach sick. It’s scary and uncomfortable. I begin to wonder why the heck the editor accepted the story if it needed so much work.

It’s important for me to note that when I turned this manuscript in for consideration, I was pleased with it.  I’d finished several rounds of my personal revisions on it, and at least three other writers/readers had helped me with it at various points.  I write cleanly, so the document wasn’t riddled with typos.  If I’d chosen to self-publish it (without the guidance of a developmental/content editor, which is different than a line editor), I might have made one more pass after a month or so, and then I would have released it.

That’s why editors are worth their weight in gold.

With Alissa’s help, this story is going to shine as golden as Jin’s eyes. Errr….after I read it just one more time!

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Good News Monday

This week my good news means lots of work!

  • We made another quick pass through Return to Shanhasson – and I turned in the FINAL copy.  Wheeee!  Now waiting on cover and formatting.  I’ll keep you posted on the official release date.
  • I’ve been hard at work on edits to Golden, my next Carina release too.  I’m adding a bit more build-up to the beginning, so more Jin and Emperor time! Lots of work yet but the story is getting better and better by the moment.
  • We survived Spring Break without another trip to the ER!

What’s your good news today?

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Spring Break ER Trip

I guess it wouldn’t be spring break without a trip to the ER!  If you’ve been reading here long I bet you wouldn’t be surprised to hear that it was Middle Monster requiring medical attention.

Last night after dark, the two youngest monsters were riding their skateboards inside the garage (we’d parked the family van outside to give them room).  I guess she decided she needed more of a challenge, so she switched to a bike.  She made a turn too sharply and feel forward, hitting her throat on the handle bars.

She came running upstairs gasping like the wind had been knocked out of her.  I got her calmed and we put ice on it immediately.  She hadn’t broke the skin but there was definitely a rising white welt and tiny scratches on her throat.  She could breathe (after the initial panic) and turn her head without pain, but I was still worried because she couldn’t talk normally.  Her voice was hoarse and raspy, and it hurt to swallow. 

Of course this is all happening about 9:30 pm.  That Man and I were getting ready for bed since we were supposed to work today, but I couldn’t stand the thought of going to bed — even though she seemed fine — for fear something would swell up in the middle of the night and she’d die.  (A writer’s imagination is not a kind gift to have when your child has been injured.)  I called our pediatrician’s office to talk to the on-call nurse and she recommended we go ahead to the ER just to be safe.

So Middle and I headed up to the closest hospital.  Unfortunately, every crazy and sick person in town must have decided that was the best time to show up, too, because we waited for THREE HOURS.  Kids were puking in buckets all around us.  I can only pray we don’t get the flu now!  Middle was feeling better but bored to tears and still a little worried.

Finally after 1 AM we saw the doctor — for a grand total of FIVE MINUTES.  He came in, felt her throat, and looked inside.  Since she doesn’t have her tonsils, he could see way inside without having to scope her or anything.  No cartilage damage, just soft tissue bruising.  He told her to stick with a liquid diet today but that everything seemed fine.  Whew. 

It’s strange to be driving home in the middle of the night, but it was a very happy trip.  Middle kept looking for a place to get a shake but nothing was open.  (By now, she was starving.)  We got home and I made her a Weight Watcher’s chocolate smoothie so she could sleep without her tummy grumbling, and then sent a note to my boss at the Evil Day Job that I needed to take today off.

She did have problems sleeping and came in to join me in bed after That Man left around 6 AM for work.  We slept a bit longer and then had a lazy morning of watching TV.  I was out of soup, so we had a late lunch of hot and soup soup at our favorite Chinese place, and then I took the monsters to the library.

Tonight, she’s feeling back to her normal vivacious self and is outside playing with the neighbor kids.  You wouldn’t even know she’d been hurt last night, until she talks.  Her voice sounds like she’s been cheering a few hours at a football game!

So I lost a day of work, both EDJ and writing, but it was a very good day anyway.

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RomanticTimes Reviews Lady Doctor Wyre

RT Book Reviews gives a web exclusive review of Lady Doctor Wyre – 4 1/2 stars!

It’s Steampunk in Space for Joely Sue Burkhart’s new series. The Victorian-esq society is brilliantly crafted, multidimensional and intriguing. The futuristic aspects of this story will resonate with those who like such space tales as Whedon’s Firefly, while erotica fans will enjoy the ménage and bondage scenes. Burkhart has done an exceptional job of integrating these moments, and the heroine’s dominatrix tendencies, fully into the story. Readers will be anxious for the next installment in this universe!
Wheee, thank you so much!
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Pepper’s Progress

When our dog, Pepper, first dislocated his hip, I googled for advice and stories about how often dogs could actually recover from this injury without surgery.  The doctor told me that most dogs had a 50-50 chance of recovery without surgery.  For Pepper, he gave 60-40 because of his small size and temperment. 

I was sick at the thought of another dislocation, because surgery is $$$$.  I was afraid we’d have to put him down.  *sobs*

Unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be a lot of positive stories, so I felt it was important to share about Pepper’s recovery.  The vet said three weeks of confinement, preferably in a crate.  Absolutely no stairs (we live in a split-level) and as little activity as possible for three weeks.  Because of his small size, they couldn’t even put his injured leg in a sling to keep it tight against his body (his leg just came right out of it). 

At first, it seemed impossible.  We’ve never crated Pepper and I knew he’d hate it.  It’s a testament to how much pain he was in that he didn’t mind it the first few days.  He even voluntarily crawled inside to lie on his king-sized pillow, sheet, and blankie.

The first day he was pretty woozie from getting put under.  All he did was lie around.  He wouldn’t eat or drink, so I was pretty worried about him.  The only way I could get his pain and anti-inflamatory meds down him was to wrap them in deli turkey.  So I bought him another pack!  Taking him out to go potty was a sad affair (he’s a boy – hiking one hind leg was impossible with his other dislocated).  He slept all night without a peep, and the next morning guzzled water.

Over the weekend, he still didn’t have much appetite, so I kept feeding him turkey.  Keeping him confined was simple — he didn’t want to go or do anything.  The first day or two, he walked on his own but his backend swayed a lot, as if he couldn’t stabilize himself.  I’m sure it’s because all those ligaments were torn.  The only time I allowed him to walk at all was in the yard to potty, and as soon as he was done, I scooped him up and carried him back inside.

On the weekdays, I carried him down to my office and kept him penned there all day with his own water and food bowl.  After a few days, he started to eat his own food again and no longer wanted to be in his crate.  Princess wanted him in her room (she felt really badly that he’d been hurt), so she kept him in his crate at night in her room.  In the second week, he started waking her up at night, wanting out of his crate.  I finally told her to just let him sleep out in her room.  Her bed is very low so I didn’t have to worry about him jumping up and down too much and he was much happier.

Going into the third week, I can tell he’s much better.  He’s gotten away from me a few times and trotted up and down the stairs before I could catch up with him.  He’s eating and peeing normally.  He walks without pain.  He can jump up and put his front paws on the edge of my chair when he wants me to pick him up, with all his weight on his two back legs.  Obviously, it’s been much more challenging to keep him from activity.  Today, he even showed interest in playing ball with our other highly active dog (if KC had dislocated her hip, it’d be impossible to keep her stationary — she’s a very active, high maintenance dog).

I think his age (10 years old) and temperment played a huge part in his ability to recover so far.  He’s definitely a “lap” dog and never more happy than just sleeping on my lap.  Thursday will be the end of his confinement.  I’ll be so happy not to have to carry him up and down the stairs any longer!  He’s only 15 pounds, but I know that’s how I injured my back.

*knocks on wood*  Hopefully he’s well on the mend and his hip won’t pop out again!  According to my research, he’ll likely have arthritis in his hip, but so far his mobility doesn’t seem to be affected at all.

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Good News Monday

Prayers to everyone in Japan after the devastating quakes and tsunamis.

On a personal note, it’s been a full and exciting week!

  • I’ve now lost 21 pounds!
  • Those of you anxiously awaiting Return to Shanhasson:  I not only received editor notes, but was also able to get them turned back in this weekend!  We’re one step closer to getting the Shanhasson series wrapped up!
  • I also received Golden edits last week and I’ve been thinking about ways to add some sensual details to the beginning of the novella.  I’ll be deep in revisions the rest of this week to get them turned back in by 3/23.
  • I’m still looking for pictures of Sig for my Romance Trading Cards.  Eventually I’d like to get cards made for all my books/series, but that will take some doing.  Especially when finding Sig (and Gregar) was so hard.

How about you – what are you looking forward to this week?

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Sig Finalists

Thank you to everyone who’s been helping me look for Lord Sigmund Regret.  Here are ones that seem to almost work.  They’re still not right (but I don’t think I’ll ever find the perfect picture).  Which one do you like the best?

Vintage Man in Top Hat (vintage clothing but not much in the face)

Fausto (no vintage clothes but right color hair and interesting face)

A Pleasure (vintage but more renaissance or pirate clothing, interesting face; not sure how easily I’ll be able to get permission to use)

Young Vintage Man (nice clothes, interesting face, but he’s awfully young!)

Any other recommendations?  Do any of these scream SIG to you?