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General Update, Happy Thanksgiving

Oh my, where to begin. It’s been quite the month at least mentally.

The divorce is finally almost wrapped up. I’ll be free on 11/29 and plan to have a party in the Triune! I’m sure there’ll be Zoom and wine and lots of laughs. I went through a few weeks of thinking through my options about what to do with the house, and decided this is NOT the time to move. It’s too scary out there, and finding a rental that would allow 2 dogs and 2 ferrets without costing me $1000 non refundable deposit was impossible. Even finding anything available to rent was difficult, and the list of things I’d have to do to get the house ready to list ASAP was overwhelming.

I had to stop and ask myself a very important question. A question that I’ve not been able to answer in a very very VERY long time.

What do I want to do?

In a perfect world, what’s the best option for me and the kids? What’s the best way for the next few months to unfold?

I know it sounds dumb, but since I was 18 years old, it was never what I wanted to do. It was what “we” wanted to do – and I’m a very adaptive, and yes, passive, person for the most part. I don’t like to rock the boat. I don’t like anyone to be mad at me.

Once I stepped back and really asked myself what would be the perfect outcome… I realized that scrambling to move and list the house was not something I was prepared or wanted to do. I’d have to table my writing projects YET AGAIN. I’d have to use my holiday vacation for stressful packing, moving, and cleaning. Any savings would be sucked up by movers and deposits. It’s just not the right time.

The perfect time will be in the spring. That gives me several months to clean, declutter, minimize, pack non-necessities. That allows time for my youngest to decide where she wants to go for college. I can still finish my book as I planned – as soon as possible! – rather than stressing out about nothing available to rent.

Even more importantly, we can hunker down and wait out the winter surge of COVID. The housing market in my area is really good right now, which was why everyone was telling me to sell, but it’s not worth having strangers in my house fixing or loading things right now, putting us at risk. We cancelled Thanksgiving plans. No big family dinner. My dad stayed home. Molly stayed home. We’re not going to my mom’s. Why on earth would I sacrifice family time – but then risk us all with movers in and out of my home? It just didn’t make sense. If the housing market crashes before I can sell, so be it. At least I’ll have a roof over our heads.

So I’m a little off my schedule with Sunfires2 thanks to all the mental gymnastics I’ve done the past two weeks, but not completely off the rails. I have about 1/4 of the book to write. Maybe 1/3 if the last few scenes get really long. I may not finish this month as I hoped – but it’s definitely SOON.

Today was a cooking day, since my youngest is working at the hospital all day tomorrow. We didn’t do the turkey today because it’s still frozen (I ordered a breast – but got a full 27 lb bird!), but I made some of our usual dishes to eat over the next few days. I’ll hope to roast the turkey tomorrow for carcass soup and homemade noodles. I’ve got a huge stack of dishes to do yet, but I’m hoping to get back to a decent writing schedule and use the next few days to see how far I can get.

If you’re in the US, Happy Thanksgiving! I’m so grateful for all of you.

Long live House Isador!

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General Update, WTFIJW

WTFIJW (What the Fuck is Joely Writing?!?!)

I usually post these in the Triune (Facebook group) but I realized I hadn’t blogged in a while and thought I should try and get back into the habit. (Incentive to join the group – I’m running giveaways every day through Sunday for some signed goodies I picked up from BABE 2020.)

I’ve been pretty quiet the last few days, weeks, and maybe a month. I am still working the Evil Day Job, which I’m extremely grateful for and glad the entire company is able to work from home. It’s been fun to see team members join me at home (I’ve been a telecommuter since 2000) and it’s pretty much business as usual, except for not being able to find certain items in the stores. The girls are all home and the school year is over other than online classes for all three. Poor Middle! She’s a senior this year and missing out on prom and graduation. The school is going to try and schedule an event later in the year.

I believe I’ve posted here before in very general terms about the “C and D situation” I’m going through right now with That Man. His C is back and the D is still delayed. It’s been a stressful few months waiting on everything. Mediation was postponed thanks to Covid-19 and now he’s dealing with health issues, so I really don’t know what’s going to happen, how long it’s going to take, and what that all means. I feel stuck. Trapped. Unable to move on with my life. And it sucks.

For someone who really needs stability, all this uncertainty is draining.

I hadn’t been able to write much at all. It’s been all I can do to keep up with the EDJ, and I’m sleeping way more than usual and still feeling exhausted. Needless to say, I’m pretty behind on everything.

I know many of you are frustrated that I haven’t written anything really long and meaty since Queen Takes Triune. My plan was for Sunfires2 to be a really nice long book, but the D is still dragging on, and my creativity has taken a huge hit. I delayed the preorder 30 days, but I may need to delay it again. We’ll see. I don’t want to risk losing my preorder ability for a year, but I can also only do what I can do.

The shorter stories may seem like a distraction, and not worth your time. But I can say from a creative standpoint, they’re easier for me to do right now. They don’t take as much extended mental and creative flow to put together. Usually I just need the idea, and they’re small in scope and I can pull them off in a few days rather than months.

Another benefit of writing short stories: they help me with the inertia problem. Bodies that are at rest are really hard to get moving again. The same goes for words and the creative flow. I had been blocked this entire month, but once I had the story idea for Coterie, the #BBBPublishings Mafia anthology, I wrote it in a matter of days. Now that I’m making words again, I’m going to switch back to one of my other projects (Queen Takes Venom and Sunfires2) and see if I can keep that momentum going in my favor.

4thewords has also been a great help to get me making words again. Small goals, even 100 words in 30 minutes, may not seem like much, but again, inertia takes a huge amount of effort to overcome initially. Once I’m moving again, it takes less work to keep that momentum. I may not be fast right now, but I’ll take what I can get.

Stay safe and healthy everyone.

Long live House Isador!

PS Order updates. Shipping from KDP has been sloooooooow but I did finally get all the TVQ books back in stock. I’l be doing my best to get the next orders out this weekend.

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The first of my holiday giveaways

I’ve got all sorts of goodies planned for you over the next few weeks! The first two giveaways are currently live.

Win an iPad and prize back from L. A. Boruff, Katie May, Kerry Adrienne, Skye MacKinnon, and Joely Sue Burkhart worth $500. Enter or click the image below.

I’m also giving away a signed print copy of Queen Takes Camelot and winner’s choice of a “Winnifred in the Library” bookmark on my Facebook page.

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Upcoming Giveaways and Free KU Books

I have allllll kinds of stuff going on this month!

Free books, this week only:

Giveaways I’m participating in:

I also have a Halloween Giveaway coming soon – just waiting on the prizes to arrive so I can snap a picture!

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Meditation and Gratitude Tools

These are a few of the tools I’ve been using over the past few months to reduce my stress and improve my overall wellbeing. Some of the links are affiliate links.

The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. I first read this book over a year ago and it was one of the first steps I took to making a better practice of self-care. I started doing meditation right away, but the visualization and affirmations took longer to stick.

I used Headspace to learn about meditation. I really love his sessions on creativity and self confidence and have listened to both series at least twice.

The I AM Journal. This was one of the first tools I started using to get into a better gratitude habit. I loved the idea of writing down only THREE THINGS every day that I was grateful for and concentrating on my feelings. What I wanted most of all. How I would feel when I achieved those things. I don’t currently use this journal just because I don’t like to have yet another place to write stuff down in. But it got me started into the habit I’m using now.

I bought a copper fountain for my office and I love the constant gentle sound. I’ve got some crystals in it too that I’ve collected from various places. I don’t know that they make me feel better, but they’re pretty and I like them. Water is important for my muse (I’m starting to understand this more). As in my wizard story Nightgazer, “wellspring” is a metaphor for where the magic happens. I often picture Story bubbling up inside me like a fountain, and the sound reminds me to let the water — and the words — flow. It’s not so much work/effort, but tapping the well and letting the water come.

My Himalayan salt lamp is always on in my office. I love the gentle, warm glow that it casts so much that I bought another for my bedroom. I also have these salt tea light votives that I use in my office and around my tub when I take a bath. Again, I don’t know that they truly make me “feel better” fighting the negative ions in the rooms and such, but I *like* them. The glow is very comforting and makes me feel good when I see the light.

When I start a low-key sprint, I always do better if I put on my headphones and use one of my apps to help block out noise. Usually Naturespace but lately I’ve also been using Brainwave 35 with my own playlist of songs like Tibetan Singing Bowls, Crystal Bowls, etc. Very zen and relaxing.

Be Focused Pro is my timer app with set 10, 15, or 25 min sprints. The hardest part for me is stopping at the break and actually starting again. It’s easy for me to get distracted. I typically struggle with 25 mins. I lean toward 15 usually, but sometimes all I can manage is 10 mins. I do what I can when I can.

I’m experimenting with Productive – Habit Tracker this week to keep an automated list of my basic self-care tasks each day. So far I really like it, but I don’t know that I’m ready to spend for the Pro version yet. I love that it lets me color code items (so I have gold stars for sprints, and blue for zen stuff like meditation) and it keeps stats for me – though long-term, it’s hard for me not to get too focused on perfection and stressing about checking off an item. Which defeats the whole point of relaxation!

I’m still experimenting with visualization tools.

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Sterling Silver Bracelets – In progress

I had a request for sterling silver bracelets, since many people are allergic to the inferior metals. Unfortunately, the charms are VERY expensive, ranging from $5-15 each. Yes, each. Shara has a lot of Blood… So that makes a complete House Isador charm bracelet in silver very expensive to make.

However, I’m going to experiment with fewer charms to keep in the $30-40 price range. Like I’ll have a “Shara Isador” one that’s an ankh and Isis charm only. Or a cobra charm with the ankh. With all sterling silver findings and chain.

If you’re in the market for something like this and I haven’t already talked to you, feel free to message or email me so I can be sure to stock the materials. I have some supplies ordered and will experiment with them over the next week or so. Hopefully I don’t mess them up! Even the silver wrapping wire is $17 a roll.

But they’re going to be pretty!

I also have a House Camelot charm bracelet made – by accident. Middle Monster picked out some matte black beads at Michael’s when she was shopping with me, and loved the crown charm I’d picked up. I made her an all-black crown bracelet – but she didn’t actually like the dangling beads. So I’m going to make her an elastic stretchy one, and I repurposed this bracelet to have all of Gwen’s Blood represented, as I know them today. If the weather cooperates, I’ll take some pictures tomorrow.

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New Charm Bracelets in the Shop!

I finally got the House Isador charm bracelet listed in the shop! There’s an optional form that you can fill out to tell me what colors or sizes you’d like. These are handmade by me in my free time. Yes, I know, that sounds crazy when I’m writing all the time and work full-time too, but making the jewelry is FUN. It’s actually a stress reliever for me.

Soon to come are purse/planner charms and themed bookmarks. I also have charms ordered for House Camelot and House Ironheart!

Queen Takes Triune is also now listed in the shop. I’ll work on a House Isador bundle once I get previous orders out the door.

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Signed Paperbacks, Merchandise, and More

Behind the scenes, I’ve been working with my friend Erin to open up a shop, and I think we’re finally ready to at least crack the door, LOL.

Please be patient with us. There’s a learning curve to getting all the plugins to work correctly, and then of course processing your orders. I have a lot more merchandise to add to the shop, but we wanted to see how just a few things were working before we build it out too far. Right now, there are some House Isador mugs and single copies of each book currently in print (Queen Takes Triune and Their Vampire Queen bundles aren’t ready yet).

I’m only open to US orders right now, until I figure out how to handle VAT. If you’re international and don’t want to wait, message me and we’ll figure out other arrangements.

If you’re hoping to buy the entire Their Vampire Queen set, please wait a bit longer until I get Queen Takes Triune in print. I’ll be making a really cool bundle with tote and shirt. But it’s not quite ready yet!

If you’re only buying a single print book, I can send it cheaper via media mail, so message me and we’ll figure that out too. I’m still tweaking the shipping plugin to figure out how to do single books media but anything else priority. I can also do PayPal manually for those of you who prefer that method of payment. I don’t have that turned on here yet.

Coming soon: House Isador charm bracelets, bookmarks, and T-shirts!

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Q2 Kanban Board

Since I shared my Q1 board last time, I thought I’d show my continued effort to get more organized and stay on top of my many TODOs.

I don’t have every task on the board yet, and I want to break larger tasks down better. e.g. “On Death’s Wings” could be broken down into 5K increments or some other easily identified task so I have the satisfaction of moving things over to the next column. I also only put up my newsletter and takeover tasks for April. My board isn’t big enough to keep the entire quarter before me.

The colors aren’t quite meaningful yet. I am trying to group certain things together better – but messed up a couple. Going forward, I’d like to keep general admin stuff one color, takeovers another, and true writing tasks. But I tend to just grab the first Sticky note I can find, rather than putting thought into which category the task is really in.

Focusing on PROGRESS not PERFECTION.

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Personal Growth as a Writer

I’ve been working really hard on improving myself lately, both by understanding my personality better, and also by improving my writing processes. This is likely to be a really long post with some data and analysis if you’re so inclined. Though I’ll spoil it here and say in summary: wow, have I grown a lot as a writer since 2005. Also, newsflash, momentum is key for my personal success as a writer.

I’ll also preface this with: this is my personal experience. Slower is not better. Faster is not better. DO YOU. Also remember I have a full-time, usually stressful job and three busy teenagers/college kid to manage. So while I’d love to write for hours and hours a day, it’s just not possible for me at this time. My normal writing session is 9PM-midnight if I’m lucky and the kids don’t bother me with homework or emergencies.

First, the data analysis. Queen Takes Triune is the first book where I successfully kept track from start to finish of my word counts per day – and then followed up to analyze those numbers. Yes, there were days I forgot. I’m sure there were many. (I hope there were lol.) But in general, I kept track of my word counts every day. Toward the last half, I also kept track of sprint sessions, and whether they were timed, untimed, or interrupted. Again, I’m sure I missed many – but there were enough there for me to gauge some trends.

I did keep word counts for all the other Queen Takes books – but not always by session. I also didn’t make notes about other stuff going on in my life to explain gaps in time. I made extra effort to keep track of this information this time around so I could improve.

But before I get into the actual takeaways, let me touch on a personality element that has always prevented me from doing this kind of analysis before. (If you’re interested in learning more about your personality and how it affects your writing, I highly recommend signing up for Becca Syme’s Write Better Faster and Strengths for Writers courses).

ACHIEVER is only my #5 top strength. However, it has handicapped me in the past. How? I would get hung up on “how well I was doing.” If I felt like I was getting a bad grade (even on my writing), then it would crush my mood and I’d give up on tracking. Say I only managed a couple of hundred words, and my goal was 2000. “Oh well, I failed. Stop taking notes. I can’t recover from that. Your daily average is already trashed and it won’t recover (like GPA).

I know, that’s not the best way to think about it – but that’s my first reaction. Or I’d set crazy high word counts because I *can* write 5K a day. So I should be able to write 5K *every day*. Right?

Wrong.

So even though it kills my achiever side to look at the numbers, I did keep track as much as possible. Then I put all the numbers into a spreadsheet so I could see them. Painful. Ouch. “How did I only keep track 6 days in November? (Note: I wrote other days, I’m sure – but I didn’t track them.) Why was December even worse!? What’s with all these empty days? Even after I found my stride?”

What were you thinking, Joely? Why didn’t you do better? There’s no way in hell this book should have taken you until MARCH to finish!!!

That’s immediately where my Achiever went. I had to face that pain, suck it up, and look again. And understand why.

Takeaways

  • Momentum is key. Early Nov, I went to Vegas for 20Booksto50K. While I did write while I was there, I was busy and forgot to track. It also wasn’t anywhere near 1K+ a day. Same with the Australia trip for Books by the Bridge. I was busy for days before preparing, and then had to take a week to recover. I did write while on the plane and in Sydney – but I didn’t keep track and it wasn’t enough to keep my momentum.
  • Focus is key. Late Nov – early Dec, I paused work on Queen Takes Triune to write the Holidays Between the Sheets short story. While it was fun and I’m glad I did it… it totally killed my momentum. I didn’t recover from that break until January. Obviously holidays and family stuff added to that delay – but it was a costly mistake.
  • Timed sprints really will make me focus. I know this isn’t earth shattering. I’m not that fast a writer – and my achiever got hung up on “doing well.” I know writers who can do 1K in 25 mins. I can’t do that, even if I’m completely in the zone. So my brain said, “why sprint at all?!?” Well, brain, because setting the timer and making myself do nothing else for that time is GOOD. 300 words in 25 mins is GOOD ENOUGH. And if I do it again and again and again, I will finish the book. Duh. Sidenote: the more sprints I did in a day, the more words I got. So while the first one or two might be “average” at 350 words, toward the end of the day’s work, I could write 550. Momentum, again.
  • Even when I am finally finding my stride and consistently hitting days in a row and multiple sessions each day, I still will have an off day. That’s OKAY. That’s my INPUT (#2) and INTELLECTION (#1) strengths speaking up. On days where I didn’t have as many words, I was researching or thinking. I needed to find something that sparked the next piece of worldbuilding. When I get stuck with the plot – I need to RESEARCH. I need the INPUT to spark the next bit of creativity. I need to THINK and scribble on paper and make weird connections that don’t mean anything to anyone else but me.
  • I am also an “exponential” writer, meaning I go faster toward the end (if I keep my momentum). I wrote 30% of the book in 5 days. Gulp. That’s the “P” in my INFP Myers-Briggs kicking in. I need the pressure to finish. Deadlines are great – but self-imposed ones don’t always work for me.

Some actual data references.

  • Untimed session examples: 158, 80, 68, 345, 186, 286, 195 words
  • Timed sessions (usually same days as untimed ones): 330, 325, 531, 499, 589, 550, 622, 514 words

You can definitely see doubled results across the board, even when the session was interrupted.

Side note: untimed sessions are not BAD. In fact, I plan to allow myself at least one untimed session at the beginning of every writing session. That way I can flip back through the last couple of paragraphs or even the entire scene, read and make light edits, and then continue with the next scene when I’m ready.

Now the fun part. How am I going to take this information and improve?

I have two novellas (20K each) due by May 10th – with an Evil Day Job trip likely somewhere in that time frame. There is plenty of time for me to do these. If I focus. If I work on my momentum. And I implement what I’ve learned so far.

For each novella, I will come up with a schedule – but it won’t be a “write 2K words a day” kind of schedule. That doesn’t work for me.

  • A couple of days for INPUT and INTELLECTION. Research, brainstorming, jotting notes.
  • Write the BLURB first. That gives me a road map for the main conflict.
  • A complete plot outline generated from those days of thinking and researching.
  • Write each day – even if I only read through what I’ve already got to keep the story in my head.
  • Don’t work on any other projects, even the second one that’s due.
  • Use the timer, but allow myself 1 or 2 untimed sessions daily as needed.
  • Keep a daily “words remaining” count on my notes so I can see that number going down. But don’t stress about how many words I get each day.
  • Lean into my pressure personality. If I feed the momentum and keep my focus, I know the words will be there when I need them – at the end! For Triune, I went from writing 500 words a day to 5000+ near the end. I just can’t lose that momentum!
  • TRACK. So I can make adjustments on the next book again.

What was the reference to 2005 about? That’s when I finished the first draft of Beautiful Death. I wrote a long post in the Triune about my unhappiness with that book, and I had decided to rewrite it for an upcoming anthology to be the way I always wanted it to be.

So this weekend, we made a trip to Mythos in Joplin and to visit my Beloved Sister. I planned to read the old draft on the way down, and jot down the major plot points I wanted to keep, along with all the things I wanted to keep or change.

I didn’t even make it 4% through the book before I gave up. I wanted to unpublish the book and print it out… so I could BURN IT. I don’t want to say it was bad, but goddess above, I could not get through it. That is not the kind of book I want to write now. I just can’t. I couldn’t even think about lifting out the characters as they are now.

So let’s just say I have more work to do for the first anthology piece than I planned, lol. So I’d better get busy.

It’s never too late to teach an old dog new tricks!