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LB&LI: Writing Transformative Sex – Part 1

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(Click the image to visit PBW for more great workshops!)

I really hate “workshops” that sound like “buy me! buy me!” with examples solely from the author’s own work, so I promise to pull in several other authors’ examples for illustration.  However, to start the discussion, I want to refer back to an interview I did with Kelly Jensen of SF Crow’s Nest after she reviewed Beautiful Death:

 

 

SFC: How did you decide to handle the transformation from human to monster as the most sexually intense part of the novel?

JSB: I think a good sex scene in a novel should be both intense and transformative. Isabella and Hades trusting each other enough to be intimate was just as significant as her metamorphosis into a “monster.” On the flip side of the coin, she was already a monster, though, and Hades wasn’t the monster she thought him to be, neither. Her world viewpoint had to transform, too, and Hades made it possible for her to survive the final mutation as well as see the truth about New Olympia.

SFC: Do you see sex scenes as necessary to sell a book?

JSB: Not at all, although I won’t deny that I love writing an intense, physical relationship. A good sex scene reveals characters like nothing else. As a reader, I want the sexual relationship of the characters to progress along an arc as the story unfolds. The scenes are important and significant, not gratuitous. As a writer, I use sex to add another layer of conflict and complication. I always love watching the afterglow fade away to a sudden realisation that now things are so much worse than before.

 

Background

Until this interview, I’d never really thought about my writing process for sex scenes.  I had a gut feeling about when I’d include a sex scene — just like I had a gut feel for when to kill a character.  I never stopped to question why I felt that way.  But Kelly really got me to thinking about why I include sex scenes, and it all comes back to transformation.

Any writer who has studied much of the craft at all knows that if a scene doesn’t move the story forward, it should be cut.  But have you really thought about what that means for a sex scene? 

I’m not going to get into whether or not your story should or should not close the door — the level of intimacy you write is totally up to you.  This also isn’t a workshop on how to write hot sex for the sole purpose of arousal–although there’s definitely a market for hot books!  I’m also not claiming that these two are mutally exclusive.  In fact, I bet if you write a sex scene to deepen characterization, really dig into the whys and emotions, then the scene will also get hotter.  Let’s see if I can convince you.

Transformation implies change.  A good story begins with a protagonist who changes throughout the story.  There’s not just an external goal, but internal goal/need as well that may be even more frightening an undertaking to achieve.  The success of the external goal should hinge on whether or not the protagonist can heal whatever internal conflict she’s been battling throughout the story.  If you’ve read here long, you’ve already heard how much I love the Emotional Toolbox.  My friend Jenna is going to talk more specifically about how she uses the hero’s journey to write sex, so I’ll point you to her site.

So let’s assume that you as a writer have decided to include a sex scene in your story.  You feel like it’s the best fit for you, and your writing instinct tells you this is the right spot for your characters to get intimate.  They’re nekkid, they’re going at it, but it feels…stilted.  It’s boring.  Tab A/Slot B mechanical.  What went wrong?  

Common Problems with Sex Scenes. 

How many times have you heard a reader say, “Oh, I skip the sex scenes because they’re [boring, repetitive, mechanical, waste of words].”  Or have you read a high-tension romantic suspense, only to roll your eyes when the hero and heroine call time out to roll around in the sheets with the villain waiting outside?

Two common problems with boring or useless sex scenes are:

1. Not enough emotion — too much anatomy.

If you took a survey of adults in our current age, I think we could all list at least a handful of slang words for both male and female genitals.  All day, everywhere, we’re bombarded with sexual elements.  If you get two (or more) consentual adults together, chances are pretty good they all know the mechanics of sex.

Books and attention spans are getting shorter every day.  Why waste several thousand words on the physical aspect of sex that we all have read or seen a hundred times or more? 

On the other hand, what makes a reader linger over those scenes, even if she’s read hundreds of romance books this year alone?  It’s the emotionalconflicts and bonds that form during sexual intimacy.  Sex makes us vulnerable. Boundaries should be falling left and right; masks should be removed; hearts and bodies laid open bare.  That’s what makes a sex scene emotional — and transformative. 

If the heroine is feeling deep emotion, I guarantee she’s feeling transformation.  Both characters are opening themselves up for risk, both physical and emotional.  Think about animals in the wild:  mating can be a dangerous undertaking, even if you don’t think about how badly your heart will feel when its broken.

Instead of pushing the envelope with more and more bizarre and extreme sexual behavoir, why not dig a little deeper into your characters’ psyche?

 2. Plot Interrupted. 

Nothing makes me roll my eyes quicker than when the external plot takes a backseat for the required “sex scene” moment.  The reader shouldn’t feel like a referee is standing over in the corner blowing a whistle so the heroine can go take a break, if you know what I mean. 

However, when the external plot is truly worsened by the developing attachment of the heroine and hero, and when they have legitimate reasons not to be together, the combination of sex and conflict can be so tightly coupled that no reader would ever dream a skipping a scene.  Any scene that is “skipped” — even a sex scene — should mean that the reader MISSED something.  If nothing important happens, if some change doesn’t happen, then why is that scene still in the story?

Don’t call time out for the plot — but make things even worse for the protagonist.  Heap on emotional guilt, smear with a little betrayal, top with a new fear.  The external plot will taste all the better.  *winks* 

In tomorrow’s post, I’ll list some basic questions and techniques that you may find helpful in digging deeper to reveal characters through sex.

 

Example:  Talk Me Down by Victoria Dahl

This book seems like the pretty typical girl makes it big story, coming home to small town and dealing with old flame.  However, this book made me laugh and cry and delay dinner long enough so I could finish the book.  Why was it so compelling?

Everything was tightly coupled together, beginning with the hero’s backstory.  Ben has a measurable, concrete reason to hate gossip.  Now, as the chief of police of a small town, he has an important place in society.  He can’t tolerate gossip or scandal about him again without damaging his career.  So he has INTERNAL conflict and EXTERNAL conflict regarding scandal. 

In walks Molly Jennings, his best friend’s kid sister, and his careful, staid existence is thrown out the window.  She, too, has a very key backstory moment that has driven her secret career, starring Ben, even though he has no idea.  No one in town knows what she does for a living.  It’s hilarious watching Ben think about all the scandalous possibilities:  hooker, sex phone operator, etc.  As a cop, he even investigates her.  He can’t let himself get involved with someone who might be doing something shady, no matter how sexy she is.

Molly has very measurable and concrete reasons NOT to tell Ben her secret, too.  Again, it’s tied to her backstory, and the whole thing just builds and tangles until you think there’s absolutely no hope they can work things out.  Then it gets worse, and the very thing Ben fears the most rears its ugly head:  scandal, and he’s at the heart of it.  Or rather, the book of it.  *laughs*

Don’t get me wrong — there are several sexual scenes, many of which are hilarious.  (I laughed out loud when Molly thought her little blue friend might have electrocuted her.)  But each one very carefully pulls back a layer of character.  We peek under Molly’s fun, confident mask as an erotic writer, unafraid to ask for exactly what she wants, only to find that she’s afraid she’ll never live up to her parents’ expectations.  Every sex scene revolves around these fears and secrets, and only when both heroine and hero face their deep fears that they’ll never be good enough (Molly) or that gossip might destroy him forever (Ben), can they heal themselves…and each other.

Discussion: what’s your most favorite emotional, transformative sex scene?  

Share them in comments (or simply throw your name in the hat) to be entered to win Victoria Dahl’sTalk Me Down and Start Me Up (unsigned),  and winner’s choice of any book from my backlist. 

As Lynnalways says, anyone on the planet can enter, even if you’ve won something from me before.  I’ll accept comment entries through midnight CST Friday night, July 17th, on this post, or you can e-mail me ONCE (joely AT joelysueburkhart DOT com).  One of the monsters (my kids) will draw names on Sat. and I’ll post all winners then.

Dahl_TMDDahl_SMU

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LB&LI: The Ten Commandments

LBLI2009

(Click the image to visit PBW for more great workshops!)

As a writer, I hate rules, especially Romancelandia Rules, like:

“The heroine and hero must meet in chapter one!” or “The heroine must be a virgin, a virgin widow, or has experienced nothing but horrid sex with any man except the hero!”

But let’s face it — as readers, we all have lines that we don’t want an author to cross, else their book may very well end up denting the wall. 

Here are a few commandments, either based on my personal reading tastes or something I’ve learned from my lovely talented evil editors!

 

  1. Thou shalt not lie to the reader and call it “a plot twist.”  Grrr, there’s a highly popular author to this day whom I refuse to read because of a little lie she told in a novella I happened to pick up.  I can’t stand “surprise twists” that are basically lies.  I feel totally betrayed when this happens.  (Not talking Sixth Sense sort of plot points here — which I loved — but deliberate lies told through the POV character and only revealed at the end with a flourish.)  For a twist, the little hints should be there for me to follow like a trail of bread crumbs.
  2. Thou shalt not beat the reader over the head with “foreshadowing.”  Personal taste, but I hate “Little did she know…” or “Unbeknownst to her…”  These are author intrusions and pull me immediately out of the story.
  3. Thou shalt not make the reader dizzy by headhopping.  As my dear friend Wanda said once, headhopping makes my skull crack open.  I just can’t tolerate blatant hops back and forth, paragraph to paragraph.  (Straightfoward shifts once or twice in a scene don’t bother me as much.)
  4. Thou shalt NEVER be kind and gentle to the characters.  Torture them!  Throw more rocks!  Put them in an untenable position, not once but over and over!
  5. Thou shalt not “lathe” any tender body parts.  See the Smart Bitches’ Crimes Against Woodworking for some laughs.
  6. Thy hero shalt not flex his “bicep.”  It’s biceps, even if the heroine is looking at a specific arm.
  7. Thou shalt not rely on “fateful” to describe a character’s day.  Lazy!  (I was guilty of this in Dear Sir, I’m Yours, until Angie got ahold of it.)
  8. Thou shalt not use the word “sag” anywhere near a sentence mentioning the heroine’s breasts.  This one was caught by the copyeditor.  I said her dress “sagged past her breasts” and this was his comment.  Totally cracked me up!  Changed it to “slid.”
  9. Thou shalt NEVER take the easy way out, especially in the climax!  And I mean that both ways.  *winks*
  10. No Romancelandia hero ever need Viagra. Obviously.  He’s also got the biggest tool in the shed, but that goes without saying, right?  :mrgreen:

So what are some of your commandments or readers’ peeves? 

Share them in comments (or simply throw your name in the hat) to be entered to win Patti O’Shea’s three Light Warriors books (unsigned), including In the Midnight Hour, In Twilight’s Shadow, and Edge of Dawn, and winner’s choice of any book from my backlist. 

As Lynn always says, anyone on the planet can enter, even if you’ve won something from me before.  I’ll accept comment entries through midnight CST Friday night, July 17th, on this post, or you can e-mail me ONCE (joely AT joelysueburkhart DOT com).  One of the monsters (my kids) will draw names on Sat. and I’ll post all winners then.

OShea_MHOShea_TSOShea_EoD

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Preparing for Fast Draft

The weekend yielded good wordage, but I didn’t finish the story as I hoped.  I’m sitting just under 8.5K, so I made decent progress.  I also outlined the rest of the story.  All along, I knew how I wanted to end, and I knew roughly what happened in the middle, but I didn’t have all the details explicitly listed in my mind.  Seeing them on paper, I’m worried.  I think I’m only about half way through this story.  Ack! 

It’s going to be at least 15K.  I’m just now getting ready to send the protagonist on a rescue and the resulting “capture” of the heart (yes, I seem to be writing a romance yet again, but this one is “sweet” and not erotic).  Then there’s a bit of a lull that leads up to the humdinger of a climax.

So the good news:  I know exactly where I’m going and how to get there.  Bad news: I have way too many words left, and another (even longer) story to write post haste.

I did get some work done on my workshop planning for LB&LI but I won’t be ready to post until Wednesday.  I’ve been talking with my accountability partner and writing buddy, Jenna Reynolds, aka Anna Black, and I think we’re going to do a workshop “in concert,” both talking about how to write emotional, transformative sex scenes.  She has a very interesting take on the writer’s journey with respect to sex scenes, which I can’t wait to read more about.  Even though we’re loosely going to talk about the same things, we’ll be coming at them from different angles, with different perspectives, so I’m hoping you’ll find our discussion very interesting!

Meanwhile, I’ll be pushing hard to finish this story.  “Storms as She Walks” needs to be done by Friday, and I need to have all my character work and plotting done for “Gifted,” so I can slam through it the following week.  Gah, it’s going to be very tight indeed.  I really need the last week of July for edits.  I’m trying to write pretty clean, but a first draft is still just a first draft.  I’ve left several [notes to myself] and one needs some research on colleges that might have taught Northern black doctors in the 1850s leading up to the Civil War.  Anybody know?  I’ll be forever in your debt!

*cracks knuckles*  Hold on to your butts for a crazy ride the last two weeks of July!

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Temporary AWOL

I need to get a LOT done this weekend.  If I have any hope at all of hitting both deadlines by July 31st, I need to finish the first story by Monday.  I’ve only got 3K of a 10-15K story, so yeah, I need to really crack that whip.  Then I’m going to have to pull some kind of Fast Draft out of my ass for the other story, which needs to be 20-30K.  *headdesk*  Anyone want to participate?  Shout out in comments.

Plus, next week is Left Behind and Loving It, so I need to get my posts written, which requires some research, and of course, re-reading of some of my favorite sex scenes.  For research, I swear!

So don’t expect another update on the blog until Monday.  I’ll report then whether I was successful or not.  I’ll tweet my progress on Twitter if you want any updates.  Gregar’s just about got me dragged into the Well, so I’ll leave you with a single line from my WIP.  After all my stewing about “branding,” I find it highly ironic that I’m writing in yet another genre.  *snort* 

“Well,” Abe drawled out, “I got to wonderin’ exactly why we never saw you take a piss.”

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July Plans

I have two short works I must complete this month.  The deadlines are TIGHT and I don’t want either project to slip off my radar.  In many ways, this month will be worse than a NaNo month — because these works need to be polished for submission by July 31st.  No mere slinging of words will suffice.

Despite vacation the last few days, I’ve started the first project.  I think it’ll be shorter than the other so I’m tackling it first.  Working title:  Storms As She Walks.  Targeting about 10K in length but I really don’t know.  I have this thing in my head, not much on paper, so it may grow as I write.  So far I haven’t quite broken 1K yet (but I’m close).  I’m still searching for the voice of this piece, sort of like wandering through a new house in the darkest hour of night, hands outstretched to keep from running into something.

The longer piece hasn’t quite come together in my head yet.  Tentative working title: Gifted.  I know the general external plot, but I don’t have the romance angle worked out yet.  The internal conflicts and how they work against each other haven’t quite firmed enough in my head.  So more doodling on paper.  I don’t have this one plotted either, so I need to try and get some of that detail down before I plow ahead.  I’m guessing it’ll be 20-30K.

To make things even more exciting, I plan to write at least one piece for PBW’s Left Behind and Loving It virtual workshop.  I’ll be giving away some great books that week, so stay tuned!

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Synopsis Suckage II

When all else fails, return to pen and paper.

I sat down over the weekend with my favorite pad of paper — purple legal pad — and my favorite pen.  I pulled up the Synopsis Lesson with Dr. Connagher.  And I started over from the beginning.  Oooh, I thought Conn was a taskmaster in his classroom, but geez, he’s really been a hardass about this synopsis.  Even The Rock has been walking around on pins and needles, occasionally sneaking over to stare down at my messy pages to see if I’d written about his character yet.  (I haven’t.)

Haven’t seen hide nor hair of Gregar, the smart-mouthed Shadowed Blood.  Smart man.  I’m sure he’s tucked away nearby, laughing his ass off each time Dr. Connagher loses patience with me and begins cursing in poetry.

After about 20 sheets of scribbles on purple paper, I finally have a somewhat decent beginning.  I have the hook, my protagonist’s intro, background, and inciting incident.  A decent start. 

Where this synopsis is going to get tricky is the “suspense” or “thriller” angle.  There’s a TON of plot happening in this story, and it’s crucial that I capture some of that in the synopsis.  This isn’t just a Boy Meets Girl kind of story.  Demons are running amok, some mad scientists are making things worse, the FBI is on the case, etc.  I think what I’m going to do is treat each plot suspense thread sort of like a “love interest.”  I’ll write up a paragraph to set up the thread, and then see if I can neatly (hahaha) summarize in between the inciting incident and the resolution. 

The nice thing (groans) about writing a synopsis is that it forces me to see the story clearly.  I have to define the events and characters very carefully, fine-tuning threads into as few words as possible.  Often that makes a puzzle piece slide a little tighter into the big picture.  I realized tonight that I’d missed a slight opportunity to up the suspense a bit more once Jaid arrives onsite at Lake Atitlan.

*dies*  More revisions.  This is becoming the project that never ends!

When Dr. Connagher finds this synopsis satisfactory, I’ll write up a post like I did for the original “Letters” synopsis.  I’m sure it’ll be a hoot.

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Synopsis Suckage

I’ve almost come to believe that the synopsis serves as a “Gatekeeper.”  A finished story in hand isn’t usually enough.  It doesn’t matter how polished the story is.  If I can’t summarize the story in a concise query and synopsis, then I probably don’t know what my story is about.  Philosophically I know this and even buy into it…until I begin to struggle, and then I just want to whine and play the latest Diner Dash game.

I’ve written two versions of the Maya story synopsis and they both suck bracken swamp water.  Choppy, awkward, trite, boring as hell, you name it.  I’ve tried on paper, in a file, starting a new file, jotting more on paper.  Nothing is working.

And then I realized that I haven’t been listening to my own process.  Remember when Dr. Connagher helped me with his synopsis?  For whatever stupid reason, I forgot his lesson.  *headdesk*  So I started over again and I’m writing one paragraph at a time.  I didn’t get far tonight–too tired after long Evil Day Job (quarter-end deadlines on top of everything else).  Everything’s stacking up on me and the stress is really taking a toll.  Hopefully I’ll hit the sack soon, get about 10 hours of sleep, and then work on the synopsis first thing in the morning before anyone else is up.  That’s my plan.

With lots of coffee, peanut butter cookies, Clive Owen, the Rock, and scrap paper, I hope to churn out a good–hell, I’ll even take decent–synopsis.  I can make decent better.  Crap just has to be taken to the curb.

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Revision Xibalba: Asking WHY

The end is in sight!

I had some dialogue that contained crucial information the reader needed to know–but it was borderline “technical” or “infodump.”  I didn’t want the section to read like a Maya textbook, but if you didn’t understand the background mythology, none of the “Gate” magic would make sense. 

After reading Donald Maass’s The Fire in Fiction, I knew I needed to add some subtle tension between Jaid and another character to punch up this dialogue scene.  I’d already laid the groundwork with Dr. Reyes — I just needed some crucial details.   I knew he believed, but WHY did he believe?  It had to be more than “he’s Guatemalan.”

One of the most crucial questions in the writer’s toolbox is WHY. 

But I was really drawing a blank tonight.  I worked late for the Evil Day Job (I have a 6/30 deadline there, too, actually 6/29 because I’d like to take the holiday off starting 6/30) and I was just braindead.  I finally decided to read back through my notes on Guatemala City, where Dr. Reyes lives and works.  In the last revision pass, I created a crucial tie between him and one other “extraneous” character.  It would make perfect sense if I beefed up that connection, so I concentrated on the key event that drove Dr. Reyes meeting/knowing this other character.

Finally, the key hit me right between the eyes.  I bet you’ve probably never heard of Kaminaljuyu, even if you’re familiar with Tikal, Palenque, or Chich’en Itza, yet Kaminaljuyu has been called one of the greatest archeological sites of the New World.  It just happens to be in Guatemala City, too — actually beneath it.

So I completely fabricated a believable little plot element that explains why Dr. Reyes believes in the Gatekeeper.

Only one item remains for Revision Xibalba II — just a little Oedipus Complex.  *snort*  Then to the dreaded synopsis revisions and a careful read through, preferrably hardcopy but I’m low on ink and paper.

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Revision Xibalba & Project Update

Whew, that was some hard work!  I finally managed to cut a scene from around page 130 and move it very early in the story arc.  This scene sets the stage better and provides true motivation for Jaid, the “Un-Indiana Jones,” to risk going to Guatemala, even to save her father.  It wasn’t cut and paste, though.  For one, the character cast was entirely different in the beginning scenes.

More difficult, though, was deciding how much Jaid would say to other characters, in particular, Sam.  Would she tell him what she’d seen?  Why or why not?  Could I use the tape to complicate her doubts and confusion in one way, while providing better motivation on the other?  Turned out, I could.  At least I think I did.

There are only a few more items left on my list.  One is strictly emotional conflict.  I began worsening Jaid and Sam’s relationship in the last revision, but I don’t think I made it quite bad enough.  I missed some good opportunities to make Jaid squirm.  The other item on my list requires me to do a little more background work on Dr. Efrain Reyes.  I need to know in particular why he believes what he does.  Once I do, I can make some of his dialogue scenes with Jaid all the more tense.  She knows, but doesn’t believe.  He believes, but doesn’t know the details.  They could each hold the secret the other needs–or end up deadly enemies, depending on how the cards fall.

Good stuff.  I should be able to wrap these items up by the weekend as long as no new fires crop up.  That gives me a few days to revise my synopsis and query.  Gah, I dread messing around with the synopsis.  I know the draft I have sucks bracken swamp water. 

Meanwhile, I have a tentative title for both of July’s projects and I did some really good character work tonight.  This may show how anal compulsive obsessive I am, but I created Gantt charts for my projects through September, color coded by project.  June = 3 projects in various phases; July = 3 (one will be querying the Maya story); August = 4 (remember when I said I’d take some time off?  hahaha); and September = 3.  This includes major revisions to the Maya story, Return to Shanhasson (first draft was finished last year for NaNoWriMo), and Seven Crows, assuming I can get the first draft done in August.  Ironically, this schedule does NOT include the two projects I’m writing in July.  Assuming either is contracted, I’ll have to fit in revisions somewhere.  If anything slips, it’ll be Seven Crows, but only for a month or two.  I’d really like to finish it this year, along with Victor’s story.

Yeehaw, it’s going to be a scorcher summer!