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Reviewers, Readers with Blogs

I’m looking for reviewers for The Road to Shanhasson.  It’s proving slightly more difficult than usual because this is book two of a trilogy, and Road will ONLY make sense if you’ve read Rose too.  I can’t send it blindly to the normal romance review sites if I can’t guarantee the same reviewer will be assigned.  And, well, Road isn’t exactly standard Romancelandia fare, with violence, extreme sexual situations, and some really really bad villains.  

Then there’s Gregar, the sadomasochist assassin.

So if you have a blog or website, you’d like to read some smoking hot romantic fantasy, and you’re not grossed out by violence and blood, please drop me a line or comment here and I will contact you. 

A few of you have already read Road, so if you’re so kind as to blog about it, let me know so I can link to you.  (Let me know if it’s okay for me to pull an excerpt from your post to advertise both here and at Drollerie Press.) 

The first two chapters of Road are now posted if you’d like to take a gander first.

Thank you!

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Project Planning

I’ve been thinking a lot about my next project, my career as a writer, and what sort of stories I want to write next.  This has been coming for awhile, I suppose, but this post Kiss of Death: The Renaissance Writer really brought it to a head for me.

One of my weakest skills as a writer is categorizing my own work.  Back around 2007, I finally made it out of the Valley of the Shadow of Death and decided that I had to write for me.  I had learned what kind of story motivated and moved me:  dark, mythology, sacrifice, blood, violence, romance, etc.  Might sound like a strange mix, but that’s me (that’s why May calls me the Sister of the Severed Hand).  Every single thing I’ve written involves mythology and blood in some way.

Except Dear Sir, I’m Yours, which is a whole other beast.  I’ll come back to that thought in a minute.

So I set out to work on the Maya story.  It’s a contemporary setting, heavily based on Maya mythology.  I plotted it heavily — three major story arcs, three POV characters, each with their own goal, coming together in the end for a big show down.  Timing was crucial, placement, etc.  It’s still got problems that I hope to tackle this summer, but I’m really pleased with the level of work I managed on that story.  

The problem?  It’s hard to categorize.  I wanted to write an urban fantasy, but knew I hadn’t.  I’d been calling it contemporary fantasy.   Then May suggested it was more like a Preston/Child thriller.  

I was like, huh?  I never set out to write a thriller.  Yeah, I like darkness, violence, suspense, etc. but a thriller?  Really?  But as I thought about their books I’ve read — Relic, Reliquary, Blood Mountain — I began to see some similarities in the pacing and feel, although I’d say the Maya story has more fantasy than a typical Preston/Child book. It’s still set firmly in the contemporary world and mostly “normal” tools are used to defeat the bad guys.  Magic is not rampant in the world (yet).  i.e. The characters’ world view is very much “normal” until they see the proof unveiled before their eyes.  The book also has a sci-fi feel — even though magic is the mechanism surrounding the Bloodgates, not science or technology.  It feels a lot like Stargate, which I admit is part of the original premise.

So I’m sitting here, reading about that Renaissance Writer who’s an agent’s nightmare, and I realize that’s a warning I need to pay attention to.  How am I going to write an agent query for a thriller, while everything in my backlist is fantasy, sci-fi, or contemporary erotic romance?  

I’m not tackling projects just because I think it’s an “easy sell” as in their example, but I do have very wide interests, as widely as I read.  I mean, my current wip is a Regency Fantasy.  On my storyboards, I have a sci-fi Regency/Steampunk thing in progress.  Don’t even ask about all the strange things I have in the back of my mind, or stored on my harddrive.  (e.g. remember the sports mystery That Man begged me to write?)

So what’s a Renaissance Writer to do?  I know from past experience that I can’t write “to market.”  That leads back to the Valley of the Shadow of Death and I refuse to take that path.  I have to write what I love, with fire and passion and blood on the page.  However, I also need to take a care and ensure that I order my projects in a smart way.  I have to make sure I’m building readership for the projects I have sold, and work toward projects that could share cross-readership.  

Everything is based in fantasy — except Dear Sir.  So as I’ve been mulling over my short and long-term goals, I decided the next project needs to support that readership.  To that end, I’ll work on Victor’s story next.  I’ll build and plot it (while I have 10K in previously written sections — I don’t think I have enough story for a 60-80K book) while I return briefly to Revision Xibalba.  I’ll sub the Maya book while I work on Victor’s story.  Once that first draft is done, I’ll set it aside to work on Revision Hell for Arcana.  I want to keep the fantasy-related pipe filled, definitely, but I need to continue to build the romantic BDSM side as well.

Ironically, there are quite a few ties in the romantic threads from Dear Sir over to, say Road to Shanhasson.  Gregar taught me a lot about sadomasochism.  But someone who loves Dear Sir won’t necessarily try a romantic fantasy trilogy.

So, that’s the plan for the next six months.  Back to MayNoWriMo.

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MayNoWriMo: Day 17

Continued reading through my sections and making adjustments as I went to bring everything “up” to meet my outline. All the niggling little sequence issues that were bothering me have been fixed, and in the process, I added 1504 words! Then I finished the next new scene last night. All in all, a pretty productive weekend.

Up later than D&E this morning, so I may not get much done until tonight.

28,178 / 100000

Snippet:  This is the last part of the scene between Violet and Lilias that I was sharing last week.  This bit is rather prophetic, or at least foreshadows Violet’s character arc through this story.  I wanted to capture, too, the back and forth relationship of sisters:  love and understanding one moment; competition the next; angry words spoke in haste.

Lilias averted her face.  “I don’t trust myself.”

Violet’s chest felt constricted, as though her corset had been tied too tightly.  She’d never been in this position before:  her sister needed her.  Lilias needed to hear the right words to encourage her, as she’d encouraged her younger sister all these years.  What if Violet said the wrong thing?  Would it push her unstable sister over the edge into madness?

Something flapped above their heads, drawing their eyes to the sky.  A black bird swooped down and snagged a mouse a dozen paces away, and then soared toward the South Tower. 

“It’s still here.”  Lilias glanced at her, delight bringing some color back to her cheeks.  “I saw him last night, but I didn’t know it was a raven.  We haven’t had ravens at Nocturna for nearly a thousand years.”

Smiling at her sister, Violet suddenly knew exactly what to say.  “I trust you, Lily, with my life.  I love you.”

Her sister wrapped her up in a fierce hug that made them both cry, but this time, the tears were happier instead of tasting of ash and sorrow.

“I love you, too, dearest Vi.”  Lilias stared up at the South Tower, smiling at that fool bird.  Why did a raven mean so much to her?  If Violet had known, she would have written to every acquaintance they’d ever made and begged a scraggly dirty bird.  “Things are changing, for the better, I think.  Can you feel it?”

All Violet felt was the lingering threat of ozone and boiling clouds on the horizon, regardless of clear blue skies and green growing things.  However, she merely forced a smile and nodded.  She’d been in a foul enough mood the past few weeks since the school had re-opened; she wouldn’t ruin this fragile moment of recovery with some dire threat she couldn’t even find the words to express.

“A gentleman arrived awhile ago inquiring about an item Father had borrowed,” Lilias said.  “Did you know of any book he might have sought from Egypt?”

“No.  Is he handsome?”  Her sister merely blinked at her, so Violet added, “the gentleman?  Did he pass through London?”

“He didn’t inform me of his travel itinerary,” Lilias replied, a wry twist to her mouth.  “He’s coming this evening; you can inquire of his travels then.”

Excitement bubbled out of Violet’s mouth, a warbling song of laughter.  She skipped ahead and twirled, laughing more when her straw hat slipped from her head.  She untied the ribbons and swung it like a slingshot.  “At last, an interesting gentleman and a party!  It’s almost as good as a Season.”

“He’s staying in the carriage house, so you will have multiple opportunities to ensnare him.”

Something in her sister’s voice made Violet pause her dance.  Lilias smiled, still, but there was a tightness about her eyes, and her lips were compressed. 

A surge of femininity swelled within Violet, a sweet, fierce sensual power that she’d never felt before.  She’d never been able to compete with her sister for a beau before.  “I wager he’ll ask me to dance before you.”

“There will be no dancing tonight.”

“Then he’ll ask me to help him find this book.” 

Lilias didn’t respond, walking instead faster.  She was nearly to the door, and then it would be students and lessons.  She would be the eldest, assured and powerful, and Violet would be reduced to the little sister in need of guidance, tolerated, not needed.  This lighthearted moment would be gone as quickly as that ugly bird. 

Desperate to hold on to this strange and wonderful moment of adulthood, Violet threw back her head and held her arms out wide, her face tilted to the life-giving sun.  She filled herself with power, drawing more, more, sweet and thick and untamed.  Molten honey poured through her veins instead of blood.  Lightning crackled through her mind, blasting away lingering shadows of grief.

She wove strands of power high into the sky, seeking rain clouds and rainbows.  She’d coax a gentle spring rain while the sun yet shone, casting rainbows and crystals of light.  Yet all too quickly, the sweetness bordered on pain.  She couldn’t hold nearly as much as Lilias, and there was no moisture in the air that she could draw. 

Her gifts were lightning and wind, tornadoes and rain, fierce in the moment but too capricious to hold in the palm of one’s hand for long.  Power melted away like those wisps of clouds, leaving her bereft and slightly embarrassed, else surely she would never have said, “And he’ll ask to marry me, too, and perhaps I shall say yes.  I’ll be gone to London within the month and sailing to Karnak!”

Her sister gave her a look of such sad censure that Violet drew in a sharp breath as though she’d been slapped. 

“Oh, Violet, you know nothing of this gentleman.  Why would you say such a thing?  You haven’t even met him!  How could you possibly think you would find him a suitable match?”

Stinging and feeling unusually weary from straining to use her magic, Violet retorted, “I shall never make such a mistake in choosing a husband as you.”

Lilias recoiled and covered her hand with her mouth, her fingers shaking.

“Lily,” Violet breathed, tears spilling in horror.  How could she have said such a thing?  Why did her own thoughts and words so often betray her so foolishly and childishly?  “I didn’t mean it.  You know how much I adore you.”

Her sister turned away and pushed open the door.  “You shall have your Season, Violet.  I’ll see to it.  And you may choose any husband you wish.”

“Lily–”

“I’ll introduce you to Mr. Nevarre this very evening, but I warn you:  I find him very cold and dangerous.  Choose wisely, dearest.  You may only have one opportunity at happiness.”

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MayNoWriMo: Days 13, 14, 15

At the end of day 13, I had added 2000 words. Yay, right? Until I realized that I had a significant plothole. I hadn’t seen it, and my storycar crashed right into that crater and bent the axle.

You see, I had deviated from my handy-dandy outline, and then forgot to pick up that change going into the next section. Even though I’m touching this story everyday. Even though I’m writing like a madwoman. I forgot this one little thing. It wasn’t until I went back about 5 sections to fix the villain’s POV thing I commented on in the last MayNoWriMo post, that I realized I’d crashed my storycar and didn’t even know it.

So I declared yesterday a “read-thru” day. As I’ve commented before, I typically write in individual daily section files. Then at the end of the story, I combine all those little files into a “first draft,” smoothing as I go in a first-pass revision. Since I had to read everything and pick up the lost thread anyway, I decided to smooth everything I had now into a first draft and see what I had.

I made it through 90 pages yesterday! And then fell into yet another plothole. Sigh. I woke up Dark & Early this morning, troubled about the way I’d left the current scene. It had deviated significantly from my outline, and I couldn’t simply move to the next planned scene without adding something to connect the two, but what? Finally I cut the last nearly 300 words from last night’s scene, ended it, and began an entirely new “010A” section to slide in between. I think this will resolve my issue, and give me time as a connection.

Whew. So much for that ridiculous outline, yes? I’m glad I have it, really, although I might bitch about it. A lot of the plot maneuvering has already been done for the overall story plot — it’s these darned character arcs and subplots that are giving me fits. Still, I’d be up you know which creek without a paddle without my outline, even if I can’t stick to it completely!

Half way point: I’m right on track. Can’t afford to fall behind, though, so although I haven’t finished smoothing all sections, I need to keep the new words coming. I *hope* to finish revising the “first draft” this weekend and gain new words at the same time.

25,103 / 100000

Too lazy to pull up a snippet today.

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Bump in the Night-Broken Angel Excerpt

I love a challenge.  

At one of the first Drollerie Press chats, Deena challenged me to write a zombie romance.  I mean, how could anyone pull off someone falling in love with a dead creature that hungers for brains?  Ewwww, right?  But the more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t look away from the horrific thing revealing itself in my mind. 

Broken Angel does involve zombies, and does involve a love story.  I’d even say it has a happy ever after (waaaaaay ever after!) — but I wouldn’t call it “romance.”  It’s quite gruesome.  So in that respect, I may have failed the challenge.   Angelina’s story wouldn’t let me go, though, until I discovered why she was haunted by this horrible dream.  It’s a short story, so I can’t share much of an excerpt without giving the whole thing away, but here’s the opening section for your enjoyment. 

The full story is available in the Bump in the Night anthology

Bump in the NightI dreamed of the broken doll again.

Standing on a bridge curtained with willows and blooming vines, I saw her in the crystal water flowing beneath the stone arch. At first, she looked perfect: lovely porcelain face, large sparkling eyes, and flowing silken ribbons of gold framing her angelic features. Beautiful, she rose from the gurgling stream, floated up to the bridge like dandelion fluff. She smiled with that Cupid’s bow mouth and walked toward me, stiff and jerky like a mindless robot.

Dread rolled through me, a drowning darkness of cold waters. I couldn’t breathe. My head pounded, my heart struggled to beat. Ice encased my hands, my feet, inching up my arms and legs. I wanted to run before she came any closer, but I was frozen immobile.

Dead leaves rained down; brittle flowers crumpled to dust; ice covered me. My face was stiff and cold, my eyes wide open and staring. Just like that horrible, perfect doll marching toward me with grim joviality.

From the other dreams, I knew there was something horrible about her face, something so terrifying that I couldn’t remember. I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to look.

Peaches and cream complexion, once smooth and symmetrical, now drooped. The eye on the right sat lower on her face, her mouth tugging down into a grimace. A dark slash cut across her forehead, another down her cheek. She stumbled forward, clutching a heavy gold watch, links of chain woven between her wooden fingers. I stared, frozen like a dumb animal, as that face broke open. Porcelain cracked away to reveal…

My face.

Screaming, I jerked awake. I clawed at the blankets, flailing toward the edge of our king-sized bed.

My husband reached for me, mumbling, “What’s wrong?”

Relieved, I sank back onto the pillows and rolled into his embrace. Even woken from sleep, his voice echoed with command. He was a man used to leadership, wealthy enough to purchase the best doctors and provide exclusive, expensive care for me. He loved me. I remembered that much.

A wave of nausea flooded my stomach, burning up my throat. I really didn’t want to see any more doctors. Perhaps one—the one who … My head hurt. Yes, he’d taken care of my head. After the accident. The bridge. Pain exploded. Why couldn’t I remember his face? His name? He saved me. Images fluttered through my mind like loose papers, blowing leaves, gone in an instant.

Pillowing my face on Robert’s chest, I tried to calm my thoughts. “I was dreaming. Oh, it was horrible. That doll, her broken face …”

Shuddering, I couldn’t tell him the worst of the nightmare. She was me. I was her. What does that mean?

“That same old nightmare again? Go back to sleep, dear.”

His dismissive attitude stung. Rather, it would have hurt if I could feel anything. I was suddenly aware that I was fully awake, yet I was still numb to my surroundings. His bare chest was beneath my cheek, but I felt no heat from him. I smelled nothing from his skin. Hadn’t he always smelled of cologne, even at night? His chest hairs should tickle, yet I felt nothing but the rise and fall of his chest. Panic gnawed in the pit of my stomach, twisting me into knots.

He made a sound of pain and took my hand in his, lifting my fingers away from his skin where I’d gouged my nails into him. “That hurts, Angelina. What’s wrong?”

I couldn’t speak for the dread choking me. I was still the doll, but I was awake. He rolled up onto his forearm and smiled down at me. Didn’t terror flash in my eyes, dark with the screams of nightmares? Or was it the blank stare of the doll? Which was worse?

He kissed me, murmuring against my mouth. I felt the pressure of his lips, but not the heat or wetness, nor the scratch of his mustache. I clutched him harder, pushing him over onto his back and climbing onto him. Nothing. No heat, no sweaty glide of flesh on flesh. Yet he threw his head back and groaned deep in his throat, his hips arching up beneath me.

He was inside me, and I couldn’t feel it. His hands gripped my hips, pulling me into a rocking rhythm that my body knew but didn’t feel. No stirring fire burned in me. Nothing but this spreading blackness of fear. I plunged harder, faster, desperation driving me to feel something, anything. He drew me down and whispered, “Are you ready? I’m coming, oh, my love …”

Nothing. I couldn’t even cry. He shuddered and made a masculine purr of satisfaction as he rolled to his side and tucked me down beside him. “I like these nightmares of yours.”

I lay there, silent, frozen, strangled with betrayal. How could he be so blind, so oblivious? Didn’t he see? Couldn’t he feel the coldness in my unresponsive body?

The reality was worse than the doll’s nightmare.

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MayNoWriMo: Days 11, 12

I ended up squeezing another session in last night for another 811 words.

Today Dark & Early: 839

Tonight: 1418

Sadly, I’ve deviated a bit from my monstrously large and detailed outline.  I think I’m still fine — it’s more motiviational changes that have happened or been explained better than my plot.  However, I did decide to eliminate the villain’s POV.  I just wasn’t able to pull it off without losing some of the suspense in the main story line.  The perfect “mystery” would unfold if Nevarre’s POV wasn’t included, but I like having his take on scenes, and he has much to add.  This isn’t a “mystery” anyway, but there’s some nice doubt brewing in Lily’s mind–and so in the reader’s mind–that I completely lost with the villain blabbering about all the horrible things he wanted to do.  For such a major structural change, I wasn’t comfortable leaving the earlier section in the villain’s (incorrect) POV, so I went back last night and revised it out.  The new words last night were continuing the earlier scene in Violet’s POV — instead of switching as I’d planned.  It hink it works much better.

I also skimmed Donald Maass’s The Fire in Fiction over lunch today and got a ton of ideas for things to do to the Maya story.  He really makes me think.  Combined with the plot weaknesses that Angelle identified, I think I’m coming up with a plan to knock this story out of the park.  I hope.  I pray.  I’m so sick of Revision Xibalba!!!  But the story deserves the best I can do, and there’s no sense in rushing a bunch of queries out into the world and ruining my A-list shots when I know the story has some problems that I can resolve first.

*cue Michael Jackson’s Thriller – inside joke*

So somehow, I need to fit some revisions in over the next week or so as well as MayNoWriMo.  If I can juggle two massive stories at the same time…  While two books are coming up for releases this and next month.  *dies*

 

22,643 / 100000

Snippet:  A few paragraphs explaining why the North Tower is charred and how Lilias came to be a widow.  (And NO, she’s not the dreaded virgin widow of Romancelandia!)

Reaching up, Violet cupped her sister’s wan cheeks in her palms and turned her face down to hers.  “If someone is doing evil–black magic as Edmund had been doing without our knowledge–then I hope it does happen again.  If someone is hurting one of our loved ones, then I hope you stop them, whatever it takes.  Edmund deserved to die.”

“And I brought him here.”  Lilias pulled free, gently, but she did take Violet’s hand in hers.  “Papa tried to warn me that Edmund was not for me.  I brought a monster to our family home and turned a blind eye until Papa paid the price of my mistake.  I couldn’t save him.”

“It’s not your fault that Edmund was doing black magic,” Violet retorted, squeezing her sister’s hand so hard that she winced.  “It’s not your fault that Papa discovered him in the middle of a terrible spell and Edmund killed him.  I’m just grateful that you were there to punish him.”

“I was so angry,” Lilias whispered, her voice hoarse.  “I lost control.  I wanted to blast him to hell for what he’d done.  What if he’d hurt you, too?  What if I’d tried to open the school, and he’d killed one of our girls?  But what’s worse…”

She made a choked sound, the slim column of her throat working.  “I thought I loved him.”

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Bump in the Night Anthology is here!

Do you love things that go “bump in the night?”  If so, check out the new anthology from Drollerie Press!  We’ve got vampires, zombies, and ghosts galore from a variety of authors, including my short story “Broken Angel: A Zombie Love Story.”  More information here, bookstore link here, available in a variety of formats and coming soon to Fictionwise and Amazon.

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MayNoWriMo: Days 9, 10, 11

Although I didn’t get much writing accomplished this weekend, I did touch my files every single day. Combined with Dark & Early this morning — despite insomnia last night and a burgeoning cold — I can claim another 1815 words, bringing my total up to nearly 20K.

19,575 / 100000

Snippet:  This one is from Violet’s POV, the younger, headstrong sister who has one fierce dream.  She thinks she’s willing to do anything to achieve that dream, but she’ll learn the price of her choices before the story is over.

Violet flinched guiltily, and then glared at her sister as she dismounted, embarrassed at being caught and called out so easily.  “Does the Headmistress need my services so soon?  Should I drone on for hours about verb conjugation, or did you wish me to teach Francis another country reel for this evening’s soiree?”

“If you don’t wish to attend this evening, I understand,” Lilias replied softly.  “And you don’t have to teach French.  Miss Weston or I will gladly cover those topics.  In fact, I may need your help with a magic lesson.”

Appeased, Violet handed the reins to the stable boy and patted her mare’s shoulder before joining her sister.  Linking arms, they walked back toward the castle proper.  “Who?”

“Francis, of course, to see if that ‘tickle’ was real, and Becky.”

Violet laughed.  “Now you suspect one of our maids is descended from some long lost arm of the Ravene family?”

“One never knows.”

Good heavens, she’s serious.  “You want me to teach the maid to be a mage?”

“Let’s start with testing them both.  I’ll help.  I’ve already spoken to Mrs. Lane and made arrangements for additional help to come up from Ravenscar for the next fortnight until we know for sure.”

“Of course,” Violet said, not even attempting to keep the bitterness from ringing in her voice.  “There’s money to hire another maid, but not enough money to send me to London.  I shall never escape this place!”

Lilias jerked to a halt and stiffly pulled her arm free.  Red spots darkened the cheeks of her otherwise pale face.  “I’m doing the best I possibly can, Violet.  Surely you understand that we need servants to cook your meals and wash your linens, unless you would like scalded skin to your elbows to go with your French and dance lessons?”

“I’d rather slave in the kitchens than teach those silly girls another day!  You may enjoy teaching, Lily, but that was never my dream.  You know I want more than this:  I want a Season, dances, dresses, beaus.  I want a life!”

“Please,” Lilas whispered, her voice breaking.  “I need your help.”

If her sister had yelled back at her, then Violet would have felt better.  The storm would have blown out leaving rainbows and sweet-smelling air behind.  But this plea shook her world as badly as her parents’ death.

As the eldest, Lilias had always been strong and knowledgeable, always there when she needed help, tucking Violet back into bed at night after a nightmare or answering her questions when Papa had been too lost in his library to notice that his daughters were growing up before his eyes.  Lilias was as formidable as Castle Nocturna.  It didn’t need anything or anyone, it simply existed, undefeated and proud on the hill, demanding the respect and loyalty it deserved, the same as Lilias.

Hearing that shaken, fragile quality in her sister’s voice made Violet’s heart squeeze dreadfully.  Tears burned her eyes and she clutched her sister’s hand between both her own.  “What is it, Lily?”

“I’m…afraid.”

She might as well have declared that the sun had fallen from the sky and pigs flew.  “Goodness gracious, not you, Lily.  You’re never afraid.”

“I am now.”  She stared up at the burned hull of the North Wing and shivered despite the welcome warmth that had finally broken winter’s hold upon the land.  “I’m afraid it’ll happen again.”

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MayNoWriMo: Days 7, 8

I was sooo tired last night, I could barely keep my eyes open. I finished yesterday’s Dark & Early session quite short — well under 1K — and so I tried to stay up until I got the normal NaNoWriMo daily goal (1667) but I just couldn’t make it. I did, however, finish two more bookmarks. This time, I tried Joy’s pattern. It’s quite a bit more complicated than the one I found online, and not as fast to make, but oh, they are so pretty! I laced one with two colors of ribbon and it looks quite nice. I’ll post a picture later.

Because I was so exhausted last night, I wasn’t sure how well I’d do this morning, if I even managed to get up. I almost stayed in bed, but finally dragged myself up shortly after 5 AM. The morning seemed endless. It’s dark outside still (stormy) and it’s been a really long week, but I finished up last night’s section, started a new one, and finished it (it was one of those blessedly short < 1K sections). So excellent progress this morning, even though the word count isn’t huge.

Yesterday: 1400

Today: 1295

Total: 17760

 

17,760 / 100000

 

Snippet:  Mrs. Lane is an interesting character; unfortunately, I didn’t “know” her before starting this story, so I’m sure I will need some serious revisions later.  I want her to be as remarkable as Miss Belle, providing some comic relief but also a larger than life and highly interesting, well motivated character.  This is a start, but I’m sure she’ll need much more work to get her just right.  First draft, revisions coming.

Mrs. Lane stood in the doorway to the kitchen, her chin jutted out, feet braced wide, gripping a wooden spoon in her hand as fiercely as any knight wielding a mace.  “The carriage house is ready, my lady.”  Bristling with indignation, she shot a glare at Mr. Nevarre that would have sent His Majesty stammering and scurrying away.  “I shall be on guard, sir.”

Mr. Nevarre bowed lower to Mrs. Lane than he’d done to the lady of the castle, again, never lowering his eyes from her challenge.  “Then I shall sleep well indeed, safe in the knowledge that Castle Nocturna will withstand any threat.”  He straightened and turned his attention to Lilias.  His mouth tightened, his eyes dark with speculation.  “If the lady still wishes to extend the invitation?”

Weighing her alternatives, Lilias concentrated all her senses on the man.  Could she trust him? 

At first glance, he appeared as any other gentleman:  his clothing fine but not fashionable, his manners impeccable, obviously well educated and traveled.  However, at closer glance, one noted that his skin had been darkened considerably by long years in the desert sun.  Instead of the shorter fashionable curls most gentlemen had adopted, his hair was long and tied at his neck in a queue.  The shoulders and arms of his coat strained, promising incredible strength that a gentleman of leisure could not claim. 

And his eyes, brown with flecks of gold, but not soft or warm in any way, rather as cold as the cobra focused on its victim.  Every time she studied him, she was reminded of some kind of fanged serpent.  How could she possibly allow this danger to remain in Nocturna, near her sister and innocent students? 

On the other hand, if this man had tried to kill her last night, then it might behoove her to keep him close–where she could defend herself at the first sign of danger.  To do so, though, she would need to use her magic and allow the castle’s nexus to fill her.  She suddenly felt as though the massive stone walls of the castle had tumbled down to stack upon her shoulders. 

Perhaps she wasn’t suffering the beginning stages of mage madness; perhaps she could live long enough to ensure Violet’s dream of a Season and a happy marriage to some young gentleman.  And perhaps this deadly man meant her no harm, neither.

Releasing a little sigh of resignation, she inclined her head.  “Allow me to direct you to the carriage house, Mr. Nevarre.”

She walked with him through the heavy oaken door opposite the main entrance, following the pebbled path that meandered alongside the Great Hall and then across the courtyard.

“When I was a girl, I used to carry a hoe,” Mrs. Lane called after them.  “Snakes love to creep into the henhouse and devour the eggs and sweet little baby chicks.  Mark my words, a venomous viper dies as quickly as a garden snake once its head is chopped off.”