Country Bonfire

I burned my boob at a bonfire tonight.

We had a long day planned with an hour and a half drive north to Granny’s for an early birthday, and then a bonfire at my Dad’s tonight.  We slept in, which was wonderful, and finally got everything loaded in the van around 11 am.  I ran into Wal-Mart to pick up stuff for smores while That Man ran over to Uncle J’s and Aunt BB’s apartment (conveniently located across the street from Wal-Mart) to walk their dogs.  Middle Monster went in with me because I was supposed to get her a reward of paper (long story).  Of course I forgot the paper, and she didn’t remind me until I already had our cart unloaded, and because she was nagging me about her paper, I forgot to get the ice for the cooler.

So I ran all the stuff out to the car, went back in for ice and paper.  (Trip #2 to Wal-Mart)

We finally got out on the freeway headed north when I said, “hey, did anyone get the bag of coffee on the table?”  Of course not.  So we decided to make a quick trip to Target so I could get a bag of Caribou.  I mean, we planned a nice dessert for Granny, which just wouldn’t be the same without coffee.  In pulling off the freeway, we were almost in a horrible car accident (it would have been at least a ten-car pileup), so we missed our exit and had to hit the next one.

FINALLY, we have coffee and we’re back on the freeway, now out of city traffic.  About that time, Littlest Monster, who was in the very back of the van, said, “Mom, I don’t feel very well.”

Uh oh.  I passed back the Target bag (sans coffee) and made the monsters switch positions.  We made it another few minutes down the road and Middle Monster yells, “MOM, SHE’S THROWING UP!”

So not even 5 miles north of Springfield, we pulled off the road and I dragged Littlest out of her booster seat.  About half of her breakfast hit the bag, while the rest went all down her shirt, seatbelt, and seat.  Of course I didn’t pack a spare set of clothes!  At least I did have napkins, but no wet wipes.  I cleaned her up as good as I could and stripped her shirt off.  She wore her jean jacket and we headed back down the road.  (She was fine the rest of the day — just carsick from riding in the back of the van.)

Of course she got cold, so we had to turn on the heater, which only served to heat up the puke smell.

After another 20-30 minutes of smelling puke, we pulled off the highway in Bolivar for trip #3 to Wal-Mart where I bought her a shirt, Febreeze, wipes, and trash bags.

Four hours after leaving the house, we finally pulled into Granny’s house for dessert and coffee.  We visited until almost 5 pm, when Uncle J called, wondering how to get to my Dad’s for the bonfire.  We loaded up the kids and rushed over so J & BB could follow us down the gravel roads to my Dad’s, where he had three horses saddled.  The monsters rode about an hour, and then we started the bonfire.

It only took diesel fuel and three cups of gasoline to get the wood lit (we had 4-6 inches of rain Thursday).  Breezy as the sun set, the blazing fire was more than welcome….until something HOT hit my throat and rolled down my neck to lodge in my BRA.  I was doing the jig, fishing around in my shirt, flashing everyone, and couldn’t get the burning thing out, so I raced inside the house and ripped my shirt off.  I have blisters down my neck and all over my boob where a piece of burning rock danced a jig down into my bra.

Other than the puke in the car, 3 trips to Wal-Mart, a trip to Target, and the burns on my boob, it was a wonderful day in the country!