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Monster Tale

Originally published at Joely Sue Burkhart. You can comment here or there.

It’s been awhile since I had a worthy tale, but this one is pretty darned good.

We decided to try a new place to eat tonight, one of our old time favorites from Eagan, MN (Old Chicago) that has recently opened. On the way, we had to cross James River, and shortly after passing it, the van was suddenly filled with a wretched odor that had both That Man and I gagging. Seriously, it smelled like the bog of eternal stench. Since we’d just crossed the river, we thought maybe that was the smell, but it just got worse and worse.

Of course, I soon suspected that one of the monsters was suffering from a gas problem. The two littlest would have claimed it proudly if they’d unleashed that torment on us, but they both denied the smell. That meant Princess Monster had done it. Oh, yes–I knew she’d lie about it because she was embarrassed. (Princesses try very hard not to have gas, you know.) Red-faced, she finally admitted she’d done it just as we entered Old Chicago.

So we’re sitting at the table, talking and laughing about how she’d denied it, she suddenly got a story idea. I’m not kidding. I thought I was the only one who sat at the table scribbling madly on a napkin! Tossing ideas back and forth with me, she finished her first draft. Spelling as she wrote it.

It Wasn’t Me

A kid named John (Me: of course, even in the story, she couldn’t claim it–blame it on Uncle John!!) was sitting in the car and tuted (Me: cracks up) in the car.

The whole family gaged. And he said It wasn’t me!

One day they were in the house and the whole city gaged. And he said It wasn’t me!

One other day he was at the White House and he tuted and here came the whole army and he said It wasn’t me!

One day he was at the Impier State Building and tuted. The whole universe gaged, even the alains. And he said It wasn’t me!

But the whole universe said It was him. Then he confessed.

Brainstorming her idea, we decided to add a scene with the President trying to escape the smell on Air Force One (after I explained what AF1 was) and also Ben Franklin’s face sliding off Mount Rushmore.

It’ll be a best seller, I’m sure.

P.S. I’m keeping the napkin.

P.S.S. Yes, she gets the fragment habit from me. I’m working on that. Mine, not hers. ;-) :D

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