I had a WHOPPER of a dream last night.
It wasn’t exactly a nightmare, but I woke up with an elevated heartrate and had a hard time getting back to sleep. You know how sometimes you have a really GOOD dream and you want to slip back into that dream world but it’s too late? You’re too awake? Well it was the opposite of that last night. I woke up, heart pounding, but started to slip right back into the dream. So I got up, hit the bathroom, got a drink, crawled back into bed…
And had to fight the hair-smelling zombies again.
Let me ‘splain.
I was in a group of people that I did not know, standing in line. Some guy was talking but I don’t remember what he looked like, only that he was in control and he was changing the people (US) in the room. We were becoming zombies. He lectured about how this was good and right and scientifically miraculous, blah blah blah but what it really came down to….
He didn’t like the way human hair smelled.
Yeah, what a freak! Anyway, he’s giving all of us medicine that eliminates body hair, everywhere, and the side effect unfortunately is that we turn into zombies.
Evidently I’m okay with this. (?) I’m his favorite. Even as the other people begin to react violently — more like zombies! — I’m completely normal and calm. Until the zombies start smelling me.
Because I still have my hair.
I can’t figure out why the medicine isn’t affecting me, and all I can think about is what HE will do when he realizes that his favorite hasn’t lost her foul-smelling human hair. I’m really getting anxious about this. He’s willing to turn people into zombies just to get rid of their hair. So what’s he going to do if his science fails on me?
At the same time, the other zombies keep smelling my hair and getting increasingly aggressive. One in particular keeps bumping me and getting in my face. Oddly, he’s shorter than me (NO ONE IS SHORTER THAN ME, especially grown men, but whatever) and very stocky, like a wrestler. In the dream, I wondered if he was a friend of That Man’s family that I met one time about a hundred years ago. It was hard to tell because he had no hair, no eyebrows, etc. and he was so stinking short! I couldn’t get over it.
Anyway, he keeps bumping me, growling at me about my hair, and I’m so nervous. I’m afraid he’s making too much noise and HE will notice that I still have all my hair. I’m trying to stay quiet, but the bald short zombie starts poking me. He’s hitting me in the back, that bump at the base of my neck where it meets my shoulders. What is that thing called? (In the dream, it was a mandela, I have no idea if that’s really what it’s called or not.) It hurts, but there’s no blood or guts or anything, and I’m trying to stay quiet.
I still have my hair.
Whew, I know that doesn’t sound scary at all, but it was really disturbing. And then the dream kept trying to suck me back. That really worried me. I so did not want to go back and find out what hair-smelling zombies would do to me.
Oh, did I mention that I got my hair colored today? I joked with Apryll that I was having an axiety attack about what she’d do to my hair and came up with hair-smelling zombies the night before. But what really made me burst out laughing was when I sat down in the chair (before she knew about the dream)…
And she smelled my hair.
*dies* I always wear Moroccan Oil which smells divine. Maybe that’s what the zombies were after!
3 thoughts on “The Hair-Smelling Zombies”
😆 Sounds like the plot of a movie…
And maybe that’s why you didn’t change! Sis! You’ve discovered a cure for the zombie apocalypse before it even starts!
As in all things, cleanliness and smelling good will save us all. Amen.
You’ve discovered a cure for the zombie apocalypse before it even starts!