It’s been a very slow few weeks. I don’t have a lot to report. I’ll do a quick rundown here, and then give more details below if you like the wordier version. Queen Takes Sunfires 2 is delayed. I just haven’t been able to get into the flow yet. I am very slowly working on Queen Takes Venom, part of the Queen Collection. Unfortunately we’re delaying the print anthology as well. We had planned to have it available at Literary Love Savannah in July, but with Covid-19 and all the implications–specifically, Middle Monster’s graduation was rescheduled to July 31st–I can no longer attend. Many others are in the same boat.
So it’s been a bit of a bummer all around. I’m sorry to disappoint those of you waiting for more Karmen! I’m especially bummed that I can’t attend LLS again this year after planning so many fun things. I miss seeing all the people I met in 2018.
This is a stressful month for me. We’re supposed to be in court in just under two weeks. I had hoped we could come to an agreement out of court, but it doesn’t appear to be in the cards. That was a mental adjustment for me. It’s scary and expensive AF but I don’t have a choice. I’m just focusing on the positive. In a few weeks, this will all be behind me. The uncertainty will be over. I’ll know what I need to do. I just have to stay calm and positive. My blood pressure will thank me!
Littlest Monster turns 17 tomorrow. How is that possible? Remember when I was posting about her going to school just seconds ago it seems? She’ll be a senior this fall and wants to go to medical school. Middle was robbed of her prom and expected graduation event like so many other seniors this year. We’re hopeful that she can walk across a stage in July, but we’ll just have to see what happens over the next few weeks. She hasn’t decided what she wants to do with her future, and I told her that’s PERFECTLY OKAY. No pressure. We have plenty of pressure about everything else. If she wants to take a year off and work, fine. If she wants to go to college in the fall, fine. We have time to decide.
Princess Monster will graduate from college next year with her early childhood teaching degree. Also extremely exciting: she wrote her first book for publication! Meet her pen name: Bobbie Jo Hart. Bobbie from Papa (Bobby), Jo is her real middle name, and Hart from Burkhart. Wolf Point Academy is an idea I had last year. I purchased the covers and had a few notes, but I just couldn’t make it happen. When she saw the wolf covers, she said, “Mom, I’ll write it.” And she did such an awesome job! She took just a few notes I had and the first chapter… and ran with it. She’s already completed the first draft of the second book too!
I, however, am not anywhere near that fast. I am trying to be patient with myself. Intellection is one of my top strengths, which means I need to think a lot. It’s not wasting time – even if it feels like it. I have to get the knot of ideas straightened out in my head before I can make much progress. Unfortunately, stress and upheaval makes all that harder to do. My thoughts are consumed with the divorce and all the what ifs. All my brain cells are firing up frantic with all these crazy scenarios — but when it comes time to write, I get nada. Zilch. Some days I can’t even open the file. Other days, I get 100 words. I count it a victory each time.
I’m going back to my tried and true methods. I’m not blocked, exactly. I just don’t have the energy and fire right now. I am mediating again (Headspace). I am lighting incense and a candle each evening when I start to work. I got more distilled water for my fountain (it had run out while we were under lock down and I was scared to go buy more until I got a mask). I put my headphones on with different binaural programs. Zen music. Deep breathing. Affirmations. I’m trying to get at least 7 hours of sleep a night.
Under two weeks to go. Deep breaths. Shara and the Great One Who Is and Was and Always Will Be have my back.