Category: The Blog

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The Hair-Smelling Zombies

I had a WHOPPER of a dream last night.

It wasn’t exactly a nightmare, but I woke up with an elevated heartrate and had a hard time getting back to sleep.  You know how sometimes you have a really GOOD dream and you want to slip back into that dream world but it’s too late?  You’re too awake?  Well it was the opposite of that last night.  I woke up, heart pounding, but started to slip right back into the dream.  So I got up, hit the bathroom, got a drink, crawled back into bed…

And had to fight the hair-smelling zombies again.

Let me ‘splain.

I was in a group of people that I did not know, standing in line.  Some guy was talking but I don’t remember what he looked like, only that he was in control and he was changing the people (US) in the room.  We were becoming zombies.  He lectured about how this was good and right and scientifically miraculous, blah blah blah but what it really came down to….

He didn’t like the way human hair smelled.

Yeah, what a freak!  Anyway, he’s giving all of us medicine that eliminates body hair, everywhere, and the side effect unfortunately is that we turn into zombies.

Evidently I’m okay with this.  (?)  I’m his favorite.  Even as the other people begin to react violently — more like zombies! — I’m completely normal and calm.  Until the zombies start smelling me.

Because I still have my hair.

I can’t figure out why the medicine isn’t affecting me, and all I can think about is what HE will do when he realizes that his favorite hasn’t lost her foul-smelling human hair.  I’m really getting anxious about this.  He’s willing to turn people into zombies just to get rid of their hair.  So what’s he going to do if his science fails on me?

At the same time, the other zombies keep smelling my hair and getting increasingly aggressive.  One in particular keeps bumping me and getting in my face.  Oddly, he’s shorter than me (NO ONE IS SHORTER THAN ME, especially grown men, but whatever) and very stocky, like a wrestler.  In the dream, I wondered if he was a friend of That Man’s family that I met one time about a hundred years ago.  It was hard to tell because he had no hair, no eyebrows, etc. and he was so stinking short!  I couldn’t get over it.

Anyway, he keeps bumping me, growling at me about my hair, and I’m so nervous.  I’m afraid he’s making too much noise and HE will notice that I still have all my hair.  I’m trying to stay quiet, but the bald short zombie starts poking me.  He’s hitting me in the back, that bump at the base of my neck where it meets my shoulders.  What is that thing called?  (In the dream, it was a mandela, I have no idea if that’s really what it’s called or not.)  It hurts, but there’s no blood or guts or anything, and I’m trying to stay quiet.

I still have my hair.

Whew, I know that doesn’t sound scary at all, but it was really disturbing.  And then the dream kept trying to suck me back.  That really worried me.  I so did not want to go back and find out what hair-smelling zombies would do to me.

Oh, did I mention that I got my hair colored today?  :mrgreen:  I joked with Apryll that I was having an axiety attack about what she’d do to my hair and came up with hair-smelling zombies the night before.  But what really made me burst out laughing was when I sat down in the chair (before she knew about the dream)…

And she smelled my hair.

*dies*  I always wear Moroccan Oil which smells divine.  Maybe that’s what the zombies were after!

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Save An Ent Winner

Thank you for all your lovely comments this past month to help me celebrate Tecun’s release!  I gathered all the comments from all the guest posts this past month, put them in a spreadsheet, and then used random.org to pick comment #136.

Betty Hamilton for her comment at Books N Kisses.

Betty, drop me a note at joelysueburkhart AT gmail DOT com and we’ll work out which eReader you’d like.  If I don’t hear from you in 3 days, I’ll pick a new winner.

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Freshly Ground Wheat Success

I’ve been interested in grinding my own whole wheat fresh (especially for bread) for months now.  I wasn’t willing to invest in a NutriMill that *only* grinds wheat — because I just wasn’t sure how likely I’d actually stick with it.  I mean, I adore adore adore homemade bread.  Dangerously adore.

I could eat the whole loaf right out of the pan. No joke.

But after reading about all the nutrients in freshly ground wheat I was determined to try.  That’s one of the reasons I settled on investing in a VitaMix.  With the dry blade, I’m supposed to be able to grind any grain.

Yet after several disappointing attempts (tortillas that were more like frisbees, a brick loaf) I’d kind of given up.  It didn’t taste all that great.  I wasn’t able to get the flour fine enough.  I was sick of wasting all those ingredients!

My SIL gave me a recipe months ago that she swore would make the best whole wheat bread.  She’d taken a class through her church (which I plan to take too, next class!!) and learned all the tricks to getting whole wheat to rise.

Then of course I lost the recipe.

I finally found it last week and set out to try again.  I dragged out the dry blade container and my wheat berries.  This time, I refused to be afraid of burning the VitaMix up.  I’ve watched youtube videos of people grinding for minutes on high without any issue.  So I ground my wheat up really good, going longer than I ever had before.  (Deep down, I think I was afraid of making flour paste or something.)  One small batch was maybe a little too coarse but the rest was fine.

And the bread.  *dies*  It’s soooo good.  Lots of honey make it sweet.  The grains are incredible.  I used coconut oil too, along with an egg to help make it smooth.  It’s not only the best whole wheat bread I’ve ever made…it’s the best BREAD.  Period.  And so healthy!  (Sorry, I don’t have permission to share the recipe online or I would!)

Of course I overate the first loaf (Middle loved it so much she also ate 3 pieces the first day), but I’ve still got half of the second loaf in the fridge.

With that victory, I ground more flour over the weekend and used up all the ripe bananas to make a batch of banana bread and 2 dozen banana chocolate chip muffins for the kids’ lunches.  There’s only 2 left… so I think they went over okay.

Of course it’s a little tricky to count all these whole grains on WW.  I can do the math, sure, but it’s crazy to see the number of points.  Honey is more points than artificial sweetener.  I didn’t want to cut the coconut oil out — but it is pointy.  However I know it’s healthy all the way.  Could I find “cheaper” (less points) diet bread at the store?  Sure.  But I’m not eating that crap with all the preservatives and fillers when I can have freshly ground wheat at my fingertips.

I just have to figure out how to only eat one small piece…

Do you have a favorite whole wheat recipe that I can add to my list?

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Save An Ent Artwork

I loaded the artwork to the original giveaway post, but I don’t know if people are going back to look.  Don’t forget, too, that I’m adding ongoing blog posts to that entry.  I’ll accumulate all comments from all guest blogs listed in that entry if you want more chances to win.

Reviews or ratings anywhere online can get you another entry – just post the link in comments so I can find it.

Aren’t these cute?  My thanks to S. J. Collins for creating such fun Ents!

 

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Back to School Tradition

This is one tradition I can definitely do without.

Every single year, there’s ONE item that is a pain in the backside to procure.  I end up hitting several different stores to find this item.  It’s different every year, so I can’t “prepare” by stocking up on the missing item months in advance.  Did that the year I couldn’t find Expo markers and there were buckets of them everywhere the following year.  Naturally.

What peeves me off is that the school supply list is never a huge shock.  I mean, every year, I have to buy generally the same basic things, plus one or two extras (like this year, Princess needed a flash drive).  So why is it always a very basic thing that’s impossible to find?  Why do I have to roam the entire store looking for the items on the list?  I mean, would it be so difficult to have everything I need in one or two aisles?

Seems to make sense to me.  But whatever.

This year, it was paper folders with brads.  Yep, you know, those 20 cent folders in rainbow colors.  How hard is that?

They had plastic ones (no brads).  Paper ones (no brads).  Decorated ones with holes (no brads).

I went to Wal-Mart.  Target.  Struck out.  Luckily my GROCERY STORE had them.  Yes, my grocery store.  How sad is that?

Don’t even get me started on how much it cost to send three girls back to school.

($118, not including any shoes, clothes, or even backpacks.  This was ONLY supplies.)

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My MN Week

I can’t believe my week is almost over already.  I’ve been in the home office this past week, training for two days and then visiting all my coworkers, going to meetings (instead of just the voice on the phone), and generally having a blast.

Tuesday night, I got to meet my friend’s son for the first time and see her little girl I hadn’t seen since she was a baby.  Last night my area had a happy hour after work.  The book that shall not be named (50S) was a hot topic, and all the guys had to quiz me about it after the ladies were gone.  Then I hooked up with Barbara Longley for some incredible Thai food and great biz talk.

But tonight…  Ah.  The BEST time.  I meet up with my dear friend Wanda (you’ve seen me dedicate several books to her!) for a long, leisurely dinner.  I ate a delicious, healthy salad with wild rice, cranberries, almonds, and chicken.  A weird (to my MO sensibilities) mix, but it was so yummy.  Then we decided to take a walk.

We walked.  And walked.  And talked books.  And walked.  She thinks we probably walked a good three miles!

A year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to make it that far.

There are some people that it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since you’ve seen them, you can talk and laugh just like you saw them yesterday.  That’s how it is with Wanda.  I’m so blessed to have you as my friend!  Plus I got some great activity points for my team’s challenge.  :mrgreen:

Now I’m back at the hotel packing up and nearly in tears because I’ll miss everyone so much.

The funniest comment this week when a friend/coworker saw me for the first time:  “DUDE, you’ve lost half yourself!”  Ha, not quite, but I nearly will by the time I hit goal!

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Save An Ent – Read An Ebook Giveaway

Since Tecun arrives 8/6, I’m going to celebrate ebooks the entire month!  I’ll be doing several guest posts again throughout the blogosphere, so this entry will be updated as those links become available.

What’s up for grabs:  WINNER’S CHOICE EREADER up to $200 (USD) value.

 

 

  • Love the one-click buy at Amazon and want to upgrade to a new Kindle Fire?
  • Have you been lusting after the Nook GlowLight?
  • Or maybe the Kobo Vox is more your style.

The winner picks whichever eReader you want.  I will ship internationally, but please make sure the device you select will work in your country and that I’m allowed to ship it there without violating any customs regulations.  I do not retain names or email addresses after the giveaway closes.

How to enter:

  • Comment as many times as you want on this post through Aug 31st, midnight CST.
  • Comment as many times as you want on any of the guest posts I’m doing the month of August (I’ll add the links to this post).
  • Rate or Review The Bloodgate Warrior on any online book site and post a comment here with the link.
  • Post about this giveaway on your own blog or website and make a comment on this post with the link.  (A cool giveaway icon is coming soon!)

I’ll accumulate a spreadsheet of everyone who comments throughout the month on the above posts and use Random.org to select the winner on Sept 1st.  The winner will have 3 days to respond.  If I’m unable to reach the winner, I’ll pick a new name until I have a contact.

To get the comments started:  are you an ebook lover, a possible convert to electronic reading, or a take-my-paperback-from-my-cold-dead-hands reader?

Comment at these guest posts for an extra entry:


Artwork courtesy of S.J. Collins

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WW Update: NSV

NSV = Non Scale Victories.

Let’s face it – we can do everything right all week.  Track our food.  Stay in our points.  Exercise.  And the scale doesn’t cooperate.  It’s especially important to have other victories to celebrate that have absolutely nothing to do with the scale.

I admit the NSVs have been pretty few and far between lately.  I’m not losing quickly enough to jet down into a new clothes size.  I’ve been hard at Power 90 for a good 30 days now, but I haven’t seen any huge changes in measurements.  (In the last round, I saw the most changes in the 60-90 day range.)

I’ve been playing the up and down game since RT in April, with very little consistently downward trends.  Today, I’m up a total of 3 pounds.  I’m not sure why.  It could be because I missed a few days of exercise last week.  I hurt my foot a little, so I was scared to work out too hard for fear plantar fasciitis would come back.  (It didn’t.)  We had lots of errands this weekend preparing for school to start, so we ate out more than usual.  Plus I was under the gun at the Evil Day Job on a late project, while I’ve got a business trip next week AND a release.

When I’m stressed out, I don’t typically see good numbers on the scale, even if I’m within my points.

Plus I’m having a problem sticking to my new daily points.  I typically eat 4-6 points over each day.  I have weeklies and activity points to use, so I’m still technically “within my points”, but I don’t always lose well when I eat over, especially when I’m missing a few days of exercise.

But in the end, the whys don’t really matter.  It is what it is.  I’m in this for the long haul, and I can’t lose every week.  I can’t concentrate on the number.  It’s just a number, after all.

Instead, I’m going to celebrate a victory that I’m still pretty pumped up about.  Many years ago when I was on Atkins for the first time (about 8 years ago I’m guessing), I was working out fairly regularly (for me) at a local fitness place.  I got tired of the treadmill, so I tried an elliptical machine.  Imagine my shame when I could only make it 5 minutes.

Yep.  5 minutes.  I thought, wow, how sad that I’m THAT out of shape!

Because it was so physically hard, I only rarely did it.  Much better to plod on that hateful treadmill than face my inability daily.  Then of course I quit going all together.

A few weeks ago, That Man started a workout routine at our local community center.  The kids swim, while he works out.  Now usually I’d leap at the chance to stay home and get some writing done, but I need to keep working out and I was curious.  I wanted to see if my fitness level was any better now that I’ve been doing Power 90, not to mention that I’m down 80+ pounds.

The ellipticals were all taken, so I tried a cross trainer machine that was more like a stair climber.  I was shocked at how hard it was.  My legs were burning in 5 minutes.  The intensity was much harder than I anticipated, and I was like, uh oh.  No good.  I haven’t improved at all.  Sigh.  Pretty bummed, it took me a few more days to decide to go back.

This time, an elliptical was free.  Filled with trepidation, I hopped on.  I took it easy the first 5 minutes, afraid the intensity would get too much too quickly, but hey, I made it.  Then I made it 10.  15.  I was sweating and definitely feeling the workout, but it wasn’t the same killer thigh intensity that the other machine had been.  That first time, I made it 25 minutes.  I was pretty proud of that!

Yesterday, we went again and I jumped on that elliptical.  I’m getting the hang of it, trusting my body and the rhythm.  I pushed a little harder this time.  And I realized I LOVED IT.

It feels like I’m running like I always wished I could, but couldn’t.  I’ve never been a runner, even in high school at much lower weights.  I tried.  But the pounding was too hard on my knees even then.  I hated that sick feeling I’d get from pushing too hard.  (I once threatened to throw up on the coach’s shoes.)

The elliptical gives me that flying freedom of a fast run that my body can’t really physically pull off.  It cushions my knees wonderfully.  My calves and achilles do begin to tighten up, but even after two times, the tightness is much better/bearable (plus I concentrated on arching my foot more, stretching that area out when it starts to ache).

Last night, I made it 40 minutes.  AFTER I’d already done Power 90 strength over my lunch.  I was dripping sweat but the closest to “pumped up” I’ve ever been from exercising.  Now THAT is a NSV!  Me, Queen Couch Potato, pumped up from exercise!

Starting next month, I’m participating in an exercise competition at the Evil Day Job, where my team gets points for exercising.  I figured I’d need the help to stay on track with the business trip next week.  Now I have no excuse whatsoever not to take my Power 90 cd.  I just hope the hotel also has an elliptical!

Who knows.  I might even look at buying one for the house.  I liked it that much.

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Summer’s Flying By

I can’t believe the kids are going back to school in 3 weeks.  (I haven’t even started school supply shopping.)

I have a release in two weeks.

I have an Evil Day Job business trip the SAME WEEK.

I’ve got to put my promo together before I go, because I’ll be so busy that week, eating dinner out with friends, getting up early to get ready (after years of working from home, I have to remember how to fix my hair and makeup!).

I *must* get my mailings done before I go.  I promised RT goodies to people months ago!  *hangs head in shame*

Two of the monsters are away at church camp this week – a first for them.  I hope they have a wonderful time, but I also plan to use my evenings to get caught up on all my admin-type tasks.  I hope they don’t get hurt.  Middle was given a third-tier top bunk.  I can only imagine how many new wounds she’ll come home with.

Speaking of which, I’d better get cracking on her story.  If I don’t get at least a few more pages done, she’ll send me to time out when she gets home.