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Dressing For Success

I’ve always believed in the power of dress and appearance to influence my thinking.  I can remember getting dressed up for exams in college, because I felt like I’d be more successful showered and dressed nicely instead of showing up haggard in sweat pants, even if I studied all night before the exam.

Did it help?  I don’t know.  I did get great grades – but how much of that was work and how much of “dressing for success” was just a mental exercise I did before the exam?

I have realized on this diet journey that I tend to eat better if I “dress for dieting success.”  What does that mean?  If I’m wearing baggy “fat” pants and my big shapeless sleep shirts to lounge around at night, then I’m more likely to snack and graze on chips or popcorn.  Maybe it’s all in my head, but if I keep my tight jeans on, I’m far less likely to overeat.

This works for dining out, too, especially buffets.  I wear my tightest jeans, my “skinny” shirts that are form-fitting and it helps remind me to stay in control and listen to my hunger instead of just grazing because food is there.

I’m even putting on make up more often.  I mean, I work from HOME.  No one’s going to see me, even if I talk with co-workers all day in back-to-back meetings.  They couldn’t care less if I’m wearing sweats or jeans, with my hair in a pony tail or make up on.  But I FEEL BETTER if I’m “fixed up.”  I don’t put make up on for work each day, but I am making a conscious effort to do so more often, especially if we’re going out.

I just feel better about my appearance.  And if I feel better about how I look, then I take more care in how I treat myself, especially food.  Maybe it’s all in my head, but so much of the journey is a mental test.  Am I going to stay on plan today?  Am I going to exercise today?  Or will I find a dozen excuses….?

This leads me to a question that I’m still thinking about.  Is there a way I can dress for WRITING success?

I honestly don’t think clothing will help, but there are certain things that can make me more productive, more “professional” and ready to write.  Like shutting down all my web browsers, especially Twitter.  Always having a caffeine drink handy.  Playing the right song for each story in the background.  One of the things I’m going to try to do better this week is hand write a few notes to myself each day about what I want the next section to do.  I hope this will be especially helpful in 3Aliens since I don’t have a formal plot.  I know the ending, but I don’t know how I’m going to get them there yet!

What do you think – is dressing for success all in my head?

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Friday Snippet: Lady Wyre’s Regret

Continuing from last week, the free read prequel to Lady Doctor Wyre:

“So you’re a pilot as well as an assassin.”  Lady Wyre had traded in the slightly scorched gown for a high-waisted spotlessly delicate linen that made Sig shake his head.  “What other talents do you possess?”

The linen was so fine and thin he could see the darker hint of her thighs despite the petticoats she wore.  The hem and bodice were thickly covered with silver embroidery and pearls.  On Britannia, she’d be the perfect picture of a genteel lady heading to her country house.  She’s got a lot to learn about living on the run.

They slipped through the heavily armed Britannia shields using a tiny backdoor loophole he’d paid a small fortune to open.  Breathing a little easier, he initiated the illegal contraband engine he’d acquired from a desperate Razari.  It’d need a bit to warm up, but once charged, they’d hit Kali Kata in a matter of hours.

If one of Her Majesty’s ships happened to board him, they’d take one glance at that tiny crystal powering the ship to unheard-of speeds and throw him into the Tower before finding his female partner aboard.  Luckily they won’t be able to catch us once we hit Razari speed.  “Do you have any gowns a little less conspicuous?”

Up went her nose and she gave him that delightfully regal stare that somehow made him appear shorter than her slight five foot height.  “A Duchess has a duty to always look her absolute best.”

As gently as possible, he pointed out the obvious.  “You can’t be the Duchess of Wyre any longer, sweetheart.”

She sniffed and a sudden bolt of terror struck his heart at the thought that she might burst into tears.  He hated crying.  He’d actually botched a few marks in the past because he hurried up to silence all the moaning and messy sobbing.  If she was a crier, it’d be damned tempting to slit her pretty throat and toss her into deep space.

“I hope you stocked tea on this miserable little boat.  I need a cup.  Badly.”

Suspicious, he risked a glance at her and thankfully found her eyes completely dry.  “I’ve got a nice black from Zijin.  Just whirl your chair around one eighty degrees and hit the replicator.”

She didn’t fuss about having to make her own tea or complain that a replicator’s brew wasn’t as good as the real thing, a pleasant surprise.  After leading a life of privilege, she couldn’t be faulted for snobbish ways, as long as she wasn’t a bloody prig at the same time.  That he couldn’t abide.

She surprised him yet again by handing him a cup, too and also asking—instead of ordering.  “Where are we going?”

“It’s going to be hard to disappear off the grid, unless you leave Britannian space entirely.  We’ll have to fuel up somewhere, so I planned to stop at the Colony.  Then beyond, wherever you want to go.”

“Britannia space grows wider day by day.  The Razari certainly didn’t expect a warship to show up on their front door.”  She sipped her tea in silence for a few moments.  “I’m not afraid of correcting my mistakes, Sig.  As long as you’re not afraid to point them out to me.”  She chuckled at whatever she saw on his face.  “Besides, now I have a reason to go shopping again.  What do you recommend?”

“Dark colors, simple utilitarian materials.  No embellishments.”

When she pouted, he couldn’t help but laugh.  “No silk?”

“Absolutely not.  Only a woman of a blooded House would wear silk outside of Britannia.  If you look like a lady, there will be questions.”

She blew out a long breath.  “This is going to be harder than I imagined.  I expected to live without servants, high fashion, and the tedium of Society.  In fact, I relished the opportunity to live on my own for once in my life.  But no silk?  Oh dear.  That might…”  She sniffed and damned if her bottom lip didn’t quiver.  “Break me.”

Dread chilled Sig’s stomach.  Don’t cry.  Please don’t cry.  “Don’t make me toss you out the airlock, Charlie.”

She burst into laughter.  “You should see the look on your face.  Why, Lord Regret, I do believe you’re queasy.  Are you by chance air sick?”

An alarm blared, cutting through her teasing.  Instantly calm and alert, she set the cup of tea aside and took up position beside him.

He scanned the readings.  “Unknown ship.”

“Her Majesty’s?”

Sig shook his head.  “Not a warship.  I’m also not detecting a merchant signal.  Not good, not good at all.  Someone was waiting for us to lift out of port, probably a bounty hunter.  I need another five minutes before the Razari crystal is fully powered.”

“What kind of cannon do we have?”

He flashed a smile of appreciation at her.  No questions, no panic.  She leaped straight to the heart of the issue and prepared to blow them out of the sky.  “Henry might be little, but our ship is loaded for bear.”  He reached over and pulled up the armament program on her display.  “Fire at will.  We have plenty of ammunition.”

Concentrating on the controls, she still managed to quip.  “You named your ship Henry?”

“Be nice to him,” Sig warned as he programmed in a zig-zag flight pattern with a little more zig than zag to hopefully buy them time.  “He’s your ticket out of the Tower of Londonium.”

“Good boy.”  She patted the dashboard and winked at Sig.  “Fly faster, dear Henry.”

Taking return fire as quickly as she managed to get off a shot, the ship shimmied.  Sig kept a wary eye on the shields, which were dropping at an alarming rate.  Another hit and they might lose their port engine.  Come on, Henry.  Fire up that blasted engine so we can get out of here!

Lady Wyre whirled her seat around.  “Where are my trunks?”

“You don’t have time to change your gown,” he gritted out.  “I’m pushing the engines as hard as I dare to get us some breathing room, but I need you to keep them off my tail as long as possible!”

“Oh for goodness sakes.”  She left her chair, stumbling against the panel when they took another shot that rocked the ship sideways.  Fortunately, the panel she accidentally knocked open contained her precious trunk.  She rummaged in it and quickly returned to her seat.  “I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve, so to speak, Lord Regret.  I can help with the shields and possibly…”

She plugged a slim stick into the panel and her dainty hands flew over the keyboard.  “There.  I can’t wait to get my hands on Henry’s nether regions to fully explore that Razari engine.  All they brought to me to study was the crystal.”

Amazingly, the shields increased back to eighty percent capacity.

“You should have a bit more horses under the hood, too.”

Shaking his head, he increased the throttle and Henry leaped ahead like a charger taking the next fence.  “My dear Lady Wyre, if we weren’t getting chased by a bounty hunter, I’m afraid I might have to kiss you.”

“Bloody hell,” she muttered, slamming her fist down on the panel.

Taken aback, Sig kept his gaze straight ahead.  Stupid tongue.  Too familiar by half and me out of Society for years.  No wonder she’s offended.

“Oh don’t be a mamby-pamby.  If you dare to steal a kiss, give me your very best effort and I may reward you with a bedding you’ll not soon forget.  I’m frustrated because evidently I’m a wretched shot.  If we survive, I want your solemn word of honor that you’ll see to it that I receive proper training on marksmanship.”

“Done and done.”  Another blast rocked the ship, and this time poor Henry didn’t recover.  He wallowed to the port side.  Cursing beneath his breath, Sig hauled on the controls but the ship was sluggish to respond.  “Damnation, we’re sitting ducks here.  Don’t do this to me, Henry!”

“Incoming.”  Her voice was tight and low but not panicked.  “I’m trying to intercept.  Hold on…”

The explosion sent the ship rolling back to starboard.  Shrapnel splintered off the hull, jabbing into his left side and chest.  He fought to bring the ship out of the roll, but pain choked him.

No.  That was blood.

“The hull is compromised.”  If anything, Lady Wyre’s voice became even more measured and calm as their situation worsened.  “Redirecting shields with my device.  Hold on, Henry…”

Sig glanced down.  A long piece of twisted metal protruded from his chest.  Once he pulled it out, he’d probably die in minutes.  I have to find a place to land and fast.  A place where we won’t fall into Britannian hands as soon as we try to dock.

There was only one blip on the radar that was settled but not firmly in Britannian control.  Whatever she’d done with the shields had settled the ship’s roll, but the controls were still sluggish.  He tried to plot the new course, but his fingers were numb.  His hands felt like blocks of ice.

“Tell me what to do.”

“New course.”  He tried to breathe shallowly to ease the pain.  “Americus.”  She said something, but pain blanketed him in a gray daze that words couldn’t penetrate.  He couldn’t help but laugh, even though it sent shards of agony through his heart.  I never thought I’d die in a shipwreck at the hands of a bounty hunter.

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Dark and Early Update

Since I updated you on how the exercise goals for January (and beyond) are going, I thought I should update on the writing front too.

I’m still getting up “Dark & Early” at 5 AM.  By the time I get downstairs and start the laptop up, I have about 35 minutes before I get Princess up for school.  I can sometimes get another 15 minutes or so in before starting the Evil Day Job.  I’ve lost my lunches to working out.  So if I don’t manage to find time in the evening (in between cooking dinner, monster homework, and basketball practices), then my morning words are the ONLY words I get.

I admit, it’s been pretty meager.  I want my 2K days back!  Waaaaah! 

Sorry, that’s my inner two-year-old child writer who doesn’t get what I’m trying to do.  I’ve GOT to make exercise a priority until I get in the habit without thinking about it.  It’s something I’ve always struggled with.  In the past, I couldn’t diet and exercise at the same time.  I couldn’t write and exercise at the same time.  I used the excuse of my obsessive brain that would latch on to a story idea so I “couldn’t” exercise.  Well, that’s a load of hooey.

I’m building the daily discipline of exercise and a morning writing session WHILE I diet.  No matter how tired I am, physically or otherwise.  No late night writing fueled by a diet Coke and chips.  No skipping my workout because I want to write instead.

I’m not getting to bed early enough to even think about getting up any earlier at this point.  I’m physically more tired because I *am* working out and I need the rest.  6-7 hours of sleep is all I’m getting already.  If I can get to bed earlier, then I’ll consider moving that clock back, but Mom and Dad need at least a little time to unwind after Princess (the oldest) goes to bed, so I don’t see how I’m going to get to bed much earlier unless I go to bed when she does!

Since 1/1/2012, my daily word count average is 552.  Yep.  That’s it.  However, that’s all coming from that first 1/2 hour or so in the morning.  There have been a few days that I’ve managed to get a little more done in the evenings but only 100-200 words.  I haven’t made a 1K day all month.

However, I’ve managed to total 8200 words despite these little bitty mornings.  It’s all on one story, not cobbled together from other things because my brain isn’t wanting to cooperate.  I’ve had a few 0 days – mostly Saturdays because of basketball and errands, plus it’s my “rest” day for Power 90 – but overall, I’ve managed to do SOMETHING every single day.

So the same way I’m making my core stronger with Power 90, doing all these pushups and planks and squats…  I’m also making my story muscle stronger by working it out every day, on the same story, pushing forward no matter how much I don’t wanna.  It’s a solid story.  It fits my brand.  It has all the elements that thrill my writer.  I just have to stick with it and give my brain and body time to adjust.

Those 1K days aren’t far away.  I feel that muscle getting stronger every day.  Pretty soon this story’s going to bust open like a flood, and then I’m really going to be challenged to keep my promises to myself on the workout front.

Especially since this story has a deadline.  Sigh.  And it’s not very far away…

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Friday Snippet: Lady Wyre’s Regret

As promised, I need to share the rest of what I’ve done for the free prequel to Lady Doctor Wyre — Lady Wyre’s Regret — and see what you think about the ending.  Of course as I give each snippet another light editing before I post it here, I’ll probably think of something else I want to add anyway.  *rolls eyes at self*  We’ll see how it goes.

I posted some bits of this during NaNoWriMo but I’ll back up a bit to the last “formal” posting here, continuing forward into the “assassination.”  It might be a re-read for some of you that were following along through NaNoWriMo, but I think the continuity and revisit will help me decide!

Waving regally, Charlotte paused on the front steps of Wyreton and awaited her public assassination.  Her heartbeat ramped to supersonic speeds, but she managed to smile for the millions of Britannians watching the Solstice Eclipse festivities.  Cameras flashed, broadcasting her departure for the royal ball.  As the Duchess of Wyre, she’d be fashionably late.

Eternally late, if Lord Regret manages to pull off this charade.

She heard the shocked whispers and gasps before the assassin’s blade dug into her neck.  This time he didn’t spare any pressure, deliberately drawing enough blood to leave DNA evidence on her spotless white marble.

It must look authentic beyond any reasonable doubt.

Drawing in a deep breath, she let a shrill scream echo across the plaza.  She clawed at his arm locked about her throat so tightly she couldn’t breathe.  Combined with the rigid corset, she was afraid she might actually pass out.

Pain burned across her throat and she tried to scream again, but she didn’t have enough air.  She hadn’t counted on being so terrified.  Her orders had been explicit.  He must rough her up enough to make it look real.  He must draw her blood, obviously wounding her severely enough that the general public would believe her dead.

Yet she couldn’t help that niggling doubt.  What if Majel had gotten to him?  What if someone had upped her price, making the amount on her head too attractive for the famous assassin to resist?  Every man has a price.  What is Lord Regret’s?

He picked her up, manhandling her down the impressive stairs to her gleaming carriage.  Her shoe fell off and she had the inane urge to laugh.  Cinderella would be late to the ball.  Would Prince Charming find her shoe and come to her rescue?

Lord Regret slung her inside the carriage so hard she fell face first against the floor.  Her head rebounded off the wall and for a moment, everything went black.  Outside, screams and chaos did nothing to help her regain her senses.  She tasted blood and her head throbbed.

The flash of heat stirred her numb limbs to life.  Fire exploded about the carriage, created by the Razari crystal she’d studied.  A deliberate message to Majel, as well as a plausible source for the execution to which she could claim ignorance.  Someone had to want Charlotte dead other than the Queen, enough to make her doubt Charlotte’s hand in her own execution.

Of anyone, the Razari would most want her dead for what she’d accidentally done to their planet.

Smoke choked her, making it impossible to see.  She ran her hands over the floor of the carriage, trying to find the escape hatch.  I have to get out before it starts moving.  Damnation, where’s the latch?

Panic made her hands tremble.  Sweat trickled down her face, the heat scalding her skin.  The stench of scorched silk and melting metal burned her throat.  Finally, she found the latch, hefted the small door open, and jumped through to blissfully cool darkness.  She pulled the hatch shut after her and nearly collapsed into a heap of smoldering skirts.

Too close.  Too real.  Her mind shrilled, her nerves raw with fear, but she forced her body to move.  She had to get off Wyreton lands as soon as possible.  Majel wouldn’t delay the search long, even if they managed to extinguish the blaze.

Her greatest fear was that someone would put out the fire before it managed to destroy the carriage.  The Razari crystals were powerful, flashing so hot that metal began melting almost immediately.  Definitely hot enough to combust a body into nothing but ashes, indistinguishable from the remains of the carriage.

I hope.

No one outside of Wyreton knew there were extensive tunnels beneath the estate, and her own people would never betray her House, not even to the Queen.  Yet she daren’t leave any trace behind, just in case.

From her reticule, she pulled out a thin canister of bio-bandage to seal shut the assassin’s wound.  She yearned for a mirror to see how badly she’d scar, resisting her vanity that insisted she cover the ugly cut with a scarf.  She didn’t feel much damage.  Sig knew very well what he was about.

She had no lady’s maid to help her strip off the gown, so she heaved her skirts up about her waist, picked up her remaining slipper, and ran down the corridor in her stockings with nothing but a hand on the wall to guide her.  No light, in case someone was watching.  No sound.  No trail for Majel to follow.

Once well away from the house, she exited the tunnel in a dim, empty stable.  No horses lived in these stalls, but Charlotte—and her mother before her—had always been careful and suspicious with private caches and safehouses throughout Londonium.  With ruthless House Krowe in control of Britannia, a lady never knew when she’d have to make a run for it, and a Wyre always went in style.

Donning a full-length cape, she hopped on a motorized scooter—her own invention, of course—and headed for their meeting place at the Thames dock.  She checked her timepiece and pressed the accelerator.  Regret had been adamant about the time.  Once the accident happened, the docks would close down within minutes just to make sure no one escaped.  Majel would claim she wanted to capture the assassin who’d dared harm her physician, but she’d also want to ensure Charlotte wasn’t escaping the net at the same time.  Five to ten minutes would be all they had to get out of the Britannian airlocks.

She skidded to a halt at the dock, Pier 371 as he’d ordered.  The motor started in a rumbling roar of smoke.  Oh, dear, the Captain could surely use my assistance in fine-tuning his engines.  Perhaps he’ll allow me to make a few modifications as we sail…

The ship lifted off and she stared at it a moment, dumbfounded.  She opened her mouth to shout, but it would do no good.  No one would hear over the engines, and she daren’t draw attention to herself.  How ironic that she’d been betrayed by her own assassin.  “Dead” wouldn’t matter if she couldn’t get off Britannia.  There was only so long she could hide, so many favors she could claim, so many bribes…before the Queen’s Ravens found her.

She squeezed her eyes shut and fought for calm.  Think, Wyre.  Think!

A hand closed around her arm and she nearly shrieked like a fishmonger in Cheapside.  Her eyes flew open and met Regret’s knowing smirk.

“Doubting the trustworthiness of your assassin, Lady Wyre?  Surely not.”

He guided her further down the dock to a much smaller ship.  Fighting back shock and relief, she stared doubtfully at the tiny boat.  Would it even be large enough for the two of them?  Then an overwhelming sense of loss washed over her, weakening her knees.  My research.  Lost.  What if it falls into hands worse than Majel’s?  Her voice trembled as badly as her hands.  “My trunks?”

Inclining his head, he waved her aboard, smiling at her torn stockings and slightly scorched silk.  “Already aboard, Your Grace.  I thought it best to have my own red herrings.  Lord Regret would make almost as an attractive lure as Lady Wyre for the footpads and pirates lurking about the docks.  Shall we be away?”

Charlotte spared one last glance at the glorious city stretched out along the Thames.  The Tower of Londonium rose like a gloomy dark sentinel against the brightly-lit night.  Even at this late hour, crows flew about the tower, their eerie caws echoing like ghosts in the nearly silent city.  Britannians everywhere were pausing in their chores and celebrations to watch with awe and not a little dread as the small distant planet, Americus, began to slide in front of the silvered moon.  For almost an hour, the moon would be completely hidden in the dark of that planet.

While I slip far, far away.

“I’ll not regret it if I never see Londonium again.”

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The Itch I Can’t Scratch

Yet.

I have a story itch.  I know it’s there, teasing me just beyond my reach.  It smells like fantasy.  I would love to write some more fantasy.  It’s *right there*, just beyond my sight.  I can see it hovering there, and I keep straining to make out its shape.  It’s annoying.  It flickers, singing a sweet shiny melody, but I don’t even know what it IS so I can’t ignore my other to-dos to satisfy it.

I tried doodling on scrap paper the other day to see if my subconscious knew what my wicked muse was trying to tell me.  But you know how he is.  He just winks and smirks with a little swish of his memsha and goes sneaking off into the Shadows.

I scanned my research shelf to see if any lightbulbs went off.  Was he wanting me to do a little research?  Maya?  Nope.  The Mound Builders?  Nope.  China?  Japan?  Celts?  Nadda.

Egypt?  Greek?  Fairytales? Regency?  Victorian England? American Civil War?!?

I’m getting desperate here.

The smug bastard.  I think this calls for a new moleskin notebook and the magic purple pen.

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Clanky Engine

One of the reasons I really wanted to “win” NaNoWriMo last year was to get the nice discount on Scrivener for Windows.  I would have bought it either way, but having the $$ incentive really helped!

I’m writing the next project in Scrivener so far, and I’m struggling a little. I honestly don’t know if it’s the project — because I don’t have it well plotted — or the way I have the project set up.  It’s not what I planned to work on (Phantom) but this project has a deadline if I want it to be considered.

I used the normal ms template, although I’m not messing with “Chapters.”  I don’t have it plotted well enough to know where the chapter breaks are!  I’m basically using the 001, 002, etc. sequencing to keep track of scenes.  I’ve done this before, starting a new file almost each day.  In fact, I wrote the first Bloodgate book that way.  However…  It feels too disjointed this time.

I don’t have time to keep reading back over what I’ve done already, but it’s not sticking in my mind.  I don’t have that “connection” to this story yet, and I don’t know if it’s the way I’m writing it or the project itself.

The project hits all my favorite buttons.  It even fits my brand!  But something’s not clicking.  The engine is running, but it’s a little too loud and clanky, if you know what I mean.  I’m getting about 400 words each morning, nowhere near what I’m capable of normally, but all I can muster right now.

It could be the weather.  This time of year, it’s so dark and cold in the mornings.  It could be the effort of getting up D&E – sometimes I’m so tired that I’m mentally and physically incapable of making coffee (which is why I prep the pot the night before), so stringing words together can be a challenge.

I did a little better yesterday with 800 words, but back to about 400 today.

Maybe I’ll compile all my little sections into a single document and send it to my Kindle.  See how the whole thing’s reading.

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2011 State of the Union

As I flipped back through this year, I’m quite honestly horrified by how little NEW words I actually wrote.  Projects I finished this year were the Zombie Category Romance, The Bloodgate Warrior, Ritual Ink, and the initial version of Lady Wyre’s Regret.  Altogether, about 100K.  Ack.  That’s horrible!

However, I did have four releases this past year:  Golden, Lady Doctor Wyre, Return to Shanhasson, and the print version of Hurt Me So Good, with many rounds of edits and promo to contend with.  Not an excuse, but that makes me feel a little better.

I also lost one of my publishers this year, so the last few months have been spent getting my rights back, dealing with cover art, learning how to format, figuring out how to upload my own files, etc.  And honestly, dealing with the grief and anger at losing so much.  Emotionally, it was a tough loss to deal with, and not much better on the financial front.  Not only did I invest a significant sum of money into new covers, but I’ll probably never see my missing royalty payments.

I’ve definitely been busy….but not writing new words.

Gee, I wonder why I only have two projects currently contracted for next year.  :sad:

So the big takeaway for me personally is that I need to write more new words in 2012.  I can’t let the business and promo drag me down.  I have to find a way to keep churning out completed works, while dealing with all the other blog tours, giveaways, edits, etc.

To that end, I’m going to go back to tracking my daily word counts.  It might be pretty meager at first, but I’ve got to see those numbers going up.  I have *so many* projects I want and need to get done — I don’t have time to dally.

Preliminary 2012 goals:

  1. Finish uploading the Shanhasson series to at least Smashwords and Amazon.  I haven’t figured out how to deal with B&N yet.
  2. Finish Lady Wyre’s Regret to my satisfaction.  I’m very close but I have another few scenes I want to add.  I’m having a hard time figuring out exactly how to end it, but I intend to use this as my first Create Space endeavor (if a secret goal works out that I’m not yet ready to talk about), so it’s important that I get it right.
  3. Submit the Zombie Category Romance.  Needs one last pass, including the synopsis.

This is all work that MUST be done to keep my momentum going in the right direction.  However, notice there’s not a lot of “new words” coming here.  Sigh.  My wishlist of projects is long, but there are a few that I *must* commit to finishing in 2012.

  • Lord Regret’s Price
  • Mal’s book, Mine to Break
  • Phantom

I’d also like to work on the Keldari Fire novellas later in the year, both to re-release the two novellas that are already complete, as well as write the third I planned to do but never started.  I’ve also been dreaming a lot about Beautiful Death lately.  A sign that maybe I should work on Charon’s book?  I don’t know.  But I have a lot of flexibility with self-pubbing these titles.  We’ll see.  However, I can’t tinker with self-pub stuff if it’s going to interfere with my main publication channels, so no promises at this time (sorry Sis – she’s been dying for Charon’s book for years).

So that’s the tentative plan for my direction in 2012.  Here’s to a more productive 2012!

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Cleaning the Desk

As another year winds to a close, I start to look back over the year and gauge how I did on meeting my goals.  And as usual, I don’t feel like I accomplished enough, certainly nowhere near what I *hoped* to do.

However, I’m still writing, still submitting, and still selling.  I’m still loving what I’m writing.  I’m so grateful to every reader, both of the blog and my books, who enable me to keep doing what I love.

But I definitely want to work on my output in 2012.  I haven’t been keeping good records, so I can’t even for sure tell you what books I completed in 2011.  The years start to blend together, along with numerous revisions and edits, until I can’t remember when I even started a book, let alone how many actual words I wrote.

So this week I’ll be reviewing my to-do list and getting as much pushed off my desk as possible.  I’ll also be going over all of my projects, organizing my files, and making a game plan for tackling my wips.  Cleaning my desk, so to speak, and figuring out the best way to track my progress.  I’m thinking I need to go back to using a master spreadsheet.

What’s your big goal for 2012?

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Hungry

We were talking about Middle Monster tonight after Upwards Basketball practice (first of the season), and it got me to thinking about something that relates both to dieting and to writing.

Hunger.

What makes Middle Monster so exciting to watch on the court is her hunger for the ball.  We joke that she’d bring the ball out for the opposing team if they’d let her.  She wants the ball so bad she’ll risk life and limb to get it.  She’s fairly short-to-average height, so she’s not going to light up any coach’s eyes in that regard, but her HEART is miles and miles long.  She burns with excitement and fire.

Meanwhile, Princess is 5’6″ (taller than me at 12 years old) and still growing.  She has the ability to be a power house under the basket because she’s so strong and tall, although she won’t set any speed records.  However, she doesn’t have that burning desire to get the ball.  She could out leap anyone under the basket to rebound — but she doesn’t.

She’s more lackadaisical on the court.  She wants to play, wants to participate, but it’s not the same as that hunger Middle has.

Now think about that with dieting.  One of the hardest things I personally struggle with is the feeling of hunger at night.  I try not to eat within 2-3 hours of bed, and if I do, it’s an apple nuked in the microwave with a little coconut oil, cinnamon, Splenda, and 1/4 c. oatmeal.  It’s so yummy it’s like dessert.

But tonight I was busy and I didn’t have time to even think about eating a snack until 9 PM.  We had Subway tonight (because of practice) and that salad didn’t last me too long.  I’m hungry, darn it, and I want to eat!

A lot of us have never really known real hunger.  I’m not comparing normal healthy hunger I’m feeling to kids going to bed with empty stomachs because there’s no food in the cupboard.  That breaks my heart.  But a little hunger can be a good thing.

It’s uncomfortable, though.  My first instinct is to feed it so it’ll go away.  But I felt really thin today, an illusion because I need to lose a lot yet — but I felt good.  I want to see a nice number on the scale tomorrow, and I’m not really that hungry.  I had dinner and snacks earlier.  I got almost all of my healthy guidelines (missed the oil unless there was some in the Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki I put on my salad at Subway).

I don’t need to eat, but I feel itchy, twitchy, nervous.  I want to go go go – to the kitchen.  Grrr.  So I’m drinking water instead and plan to go to bed soon to avoid temptation.

But hunger isn’t a bad thing at all.  It makes me stop and think about my choices.  It makes me think about tomorrow and how good breakfast will taste.  It makes me feel leaner, which also inspires me to work out.  In that regard, hunger is a very good thing.

NaNoWriMo makes me hungry for words.  Signing a new contract makes me hungry for a new one.  Checking my Amazon ratings makes me want to get more books listed.  More opportunities to get noticed, found, or discovered by someone new.  HUNGER.

It’s never ending.  It can be annoying.  I’ll never be satisfied in writing – I’ll always want another book, another great review, another wonderful reader letter.  And oh, if Santa is reading, I’d like an agent to come knocking on my door too.  My hunger drives me to get up at 5 AM or stay up until midnight even when I have to work.  To write when my wrists hurt.  To open my file and keep going even if I got a bad review.

I’m too driven by my hunger to let anything stop me.

What’s your hunger?  Do you feed it like a flame?  Can it ever be satisfied?  Do you ever sit back and savor that feeling and think about all that it will drive you to accomplish?

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NaNoWriMo2011 Winner!

I was so close tonight that I had to keep going until I hit.  All Lady Wyre’s Regret tonight, but I have absolutely no regrets.  I have no idea how much longer this prequel could be.  I don’t have a particular ending in mind.  Actually as I typed that, I *did* get the ending as clear as day in my head.  Isn’t that strangely wonderful?

So for this NaNoWriMo, I:

  • Finished The Billionaire Zombie’s Virgin Witch.  I even edited it.
  • Did some brainstorming for Lord Regret’s Price.
  • Wrote several thousand more words on Lady Wyre’s Regret.
  • Did some brainstorming and even first draft work on the project I’ll tentatively call “3 Aliens” even though that’s not what the title will be.

I did not get back to Phantom yet.  It’s going to have to wait a bit longer, because as soon as I finish this prequel, I need to format all the Shanhasson books and get them loaded next month.  After I submit the zombie story!

Final NaNoWriMo count:  50,027 (50,074 in my file, but I’ll go with what the validator gave).

Snippet:  From Lady Wyre’s Reget, first draft, etc. etc.

As Queen’s Physician, Charlotte had enjoyed every luxury Londonium had to offer as well as full backing for every scientific exploration she’d ever wanted to undertake.  Yet she’d never crashed a ship on an unknown planet before.

“Another thing I need to learn,” she muttered, pushing up out of the cupboard into which she’d tumbled.

Sig was sprawled on the floor and half buried by rubble.  From the brief look she’d gotten at his chest before the crash, she didn’t hesitate to grab the small black case containing her most prized research.  Tossing the broken panel and twisted hull away from him, she called out to him.
“Sig?  Are you still with me?”

“Charlie.”  He tried to laugh but his chest wheezed like a ghastly broken pipe organ.  “Did we make it?”

She dug into her case and pulled out a pair of sharp scissors to cut open his lawn shirt.  A pity, because the fine linen and delicate hand-woven lace looked like it’d come straight from Parisii.  “A bit worse for wear, I’m afraid.  I hope you weren’t terribly fond of Henry for I’ve broken him beyond repair.”  She kept her voice light and cheerful, despite the severity of his wound.  Any other physician would merely make him comfortable until his final moments.  But not I.  “What manner of planet have you sent me to, Lord Regret?”

“A colony.”

“A rebellious colony.”  Not good.  The shard had pierced his heart, possibly beyond even her repair.  “It won’t surprise me if Majel simply blows the entire planet out of the sky for their audacity.”

“Safest I could find in such short notice.”  His voice weakened, breathy with pain.  His pulse fluttered in his throat, frantic and uneven.  “Don’t bother, Charlie.  I know it’s bad.”

As if to illustrate his words, he wrapped his hand around the shard and yanked it out of his chest.  Blood spurted immediately, his life’s blood draining away in an alarming fountain.

Planting her right hand over the wound, she laid the precious glass tube out on his heaving chest.  Inside, tiny bits of silver metal glinted in the emergency lights.  She leaned down over him so he could see her face despite his weakened senses.  “I can save you, if you want to live.”

“Too many regrets,” he whispered, his words stumbling together until she could barely understand him.  “Let me die.”

She hesitated, searching his face.  The lines of pain eased about his eyes, smoothing into acceptance.  He’d risked his reputation as the galaxy’s most famous assassin to help her.  He could have left her at Dock 371.  He could have tossed her to the bounty hunter and escaped unscathed.

But he didn’t. How can I stand by and watch him die without at least trying?

She flipped the cork out of the tube.  She removed her hand from his chest, braced for spraying blood, but he’d already lost too much.  In the open wound, she could see the torn remains of his heart and the white of broken bone.  Into that cavity, she sprinkled the metal bits from the tube.

All of them.  The more assemblers in his body, the more likely they can repair the damage before he dies.

She pulled out the datapad and typed in simple commands.  Heart. Infection.  Blood loss.  Her assemblers weren’t  sentient, so without programming, they’d simply be bits of debris in his wound.  While they worked their magic, she gave him a shot for pain.  At least he’d be comfortable if they failed.  Then she spilled a bio-bandage over the wound and hoped for the best.

Settling back on her heels, she closed her eyes and allowed emotion to wash through her for one brief, luxurious moment.  Relief, joy, terror, heart-pumping adrenaline.  Her hands trembled, and with no one to see her moment of weakness, she even allowed a few tears to fall.  She was so close to freedom!  So close to losing the man who’d helped make it all possible.  So close to death herself.  But at least I’ll die fighting for my freedom, not trapped in the Tower while Majel scribbles down every secret her torturers yank out of me.

With that out of her system, she forced herself up and moving.  She couldn’t assume the bounty hunter had given up on them so quickly.  They were down in strange territory, helpless, unable to flee, and one of their party severely wounded.  If they had to make a run for it, she needed to gather the most crucial supplies.
There was nothing else she could do for Sig at the moment, although she couldn’t help stealing glances at him to see if he were still breathing.

Packets of food.  Every weapon she could find.  Anything she might be able to sell or trade for information or protection.  She had a tidy pile by Sig when she heard the first rustling and cracks of undergrowth outside the ship.  Arming herself with a lazor he’d thoughtfully installed beneath Henry’s main dash, she wiped all emotion from her face, hit the button to open the hatch, and walked outside with all the regal confidence of the Duchess of Wyre.

“Hello, there!”  She called in her most imperious voice as though summoning the butler for her afternoon tea.  “We need assistance immediately.”

A man stepped out of the shadows, crossing the torn earth and smoldering tracks of their crashing descent.  He approached with hands palm up and empty, his manner hesitant despite his lumbering giant-like size.  She kept the lazor hidden against her skirts, ready to slice his head off if he even thought about attacking them.  His much larger bulk wouldn’t matter one iota against the razor-sharp weapon.  Dressed in a strange mishmash of furs and leathers with the skin of some small rodent wrapped around his head, he appeared to be a colonist, not the bounty hunter that had shot them down.

“Are you hurt, my lady?”

English, at least.  She could thank her lucky stars a Britannian colony had been close, although she hoped the colonists weren’t too sympathetic to Her Majesty’s command.  Americus had been the first colony to attempt to cast off Majel’s yoke.  If she hadn’t been busy wiping out the Razari, she might have already destroyed Americus’s pitiful little rebellion.

“No, but my companion is.  Do you have shelter nearby?”

“Only my cabin, my lady.  I’m afraid we’re several klicks from any real civilization.”

Perfect.  She stepped aside to allow him to peek inside the ship at Sig.  “That’ll do.  What’s your name, sir?”

“Gage, my lady.  I’m no bloodletter, but your friend doesn’t look well at all.”

Briskly, she gathered up her research equipment and as much of their provisions as she could carry.  “Bloodletting is for ignorant fools who know nothing better.  Now make yourself useful and help me get my friend to safety.”

The man easily scooped Sig into his arms like a child, emphasizing his bear-like size.  I have no contacts in this
place.  My title and House cannot help me here.  All I have are my research—which I daren’t use too openly else Majel will catch wind of it—my feminine wiles, and my wits.

Putting as much seductive sway as possible into her hips, she stepped out of the wreck and cast a flirtatious glance back at Gage.  The poor bumbling man gaped at her like she’d sprouted another head and almost dropped Sig.

It’s a damned good thing I’ve been blessed with a brain.