Category: The Writing

Good news! I am making progress on Queen Takes Sunfires2 again!

As I’ve posted before, I’m going through a nasty divorce and it’s been really hard to focus for a variety of reasons. I’m still in limbo, but the end is in sight, and I’m trying to gear back up for some decent production.

I had to start small. Like really small. Even the 444 word goal on 4thewords was too much for me most days. I printed out a little NaNoWriMo calendar I got from HB90 and decided I would accept either 250 words or 30 mins of focused, uninterrupted time. Even if that was just re-reading files, plotting, working on characters, etc. I just had to focus for that time. There was no “sprinting” or race.

It also helps that my youngest has to be up for marching band by 6 AM every weekday, so I’ve had about 30 mins before the Evil Day Job each morning to work. That way I’m hitting the file first thing in the morning. Even if I don’t touch it again all day, I still got something done.

It’s slowly paying off. I’m still nowhere near my usual daily word count that I know I’m capable of, but I’m being patient with myself. One day I only got 29 words – but I was working out details for some of Karmen’s sunfires. That was a win. Yesterday, I actually managed just over 1200 new words, as well as edits on a scene I’d written months ago but got stuck in.

I often say that writing is magic for me. I don’t know WHY I do a lot of things, but I just intuitively know it’s right. For example: I was working on Karmen’s charm bracelet to get my mindset back into the world and characters. It had to be gold, naturally, and I didn’t have any gold charms in stock. I started shopping for various gold charms I could get in bulk on Etsy, and I bought some rather strange ones. Like bees. I had no idea why bees worked, but I wanted them, and so I got them.

With my focus issues, I’d stopped using music with lyrics and had been using meditative/zen sound tracks, but this weekend, I remembered that I’d set up a Sunfires playlist on Spotify months ago. I started playing it. And then, out of the blue, the song Black Honey started playing, and I got chills. Yep. That’s exactly why I needed bee charms.

I’m still nowhere near release yet – but I am making progress and I’m feeling more like my old self. Or rather new self. I’m stretching out and opening up in new ways that still astound me. I had no real idea that I’d allowed myself to be so small and shrunken down, but as Karmen says, you do anything you have to do to survive.

Survival time is over. Now it’s time to get busy living. And writing.

All website orders are packaged and going out tomorrow!

I have one outstanding shirt to make for an Australian peep once I get the size in stock. But I’ve made *most* of the other shirts and bracelets from giveaways. I’ll be getting them out over the next week.

I’ll be so glad to get caught up! I’ve been wanting to put more things up on the shop, but I felt like I needed to be completely caught up before I committed to doing anything else.

If there’s something specific you’re hoping to see, please let me know.

I got the new shipment of Queen Takes More and Queen Takes Jaguars in last week. (I like to include them in bundles even though they’re not specifically listed on the site.) I also got all the shirts made for pending orders this weekend.

Three orders are going out this morning. You will be emailed a tracking number.

The rest of the orders will go out this week as I have time to sign and bundle. I crashed last night before I could get through them all, and it’s a tough few days for the Evil Day Job.

But I’m almost caught up!!

It’s been a very slow few weeks. I don’t have a lot to report. I’ll do a quick rundown here, and then give more details below if you like the wordier version. Queen Takes Sunfires 2 is delayed. I just haven’t been able to get into the flow yet. I am very slowly working on Queen Takes Venom, part of the Queen Collection. Unfortunately we’re delaying the print anthology as well. We had planned to have it available at Literary Love Savannah in July, but with Covid-19 and all the implications–specifically, Middle Monster’s graduation was rescheduled to July 31st–I can no longer attend. Many others are in the same boat.

So it’s been a bit of a bummer all around. I’m sorry to disappoint those of you waiting for more Karmen! I’m especially bummed that I can’t attend LLS again this year after planning so many fun things. I miss seeing all the people I met in 2018.

This is a stressful month for me. We’re supposed to be in court in just under two weeks. I had hoped we could come to an agreement out of court, but it doesn’t appear to be in the cards. That was a mental adjustment for me. It’s scary and expensive AF but I don’t have a choice. I’m just focusing on the positive. In a few weeks, this will all be behind me. The uncertainty will be over. I’ll know what I need to do. I just have to stay calm and positive. My blood pressure will thank me!

Littlest Monster turns 17 tomorrow. How is that possible? Remember when I was posting about her going to school just seconds ago it seems? She’ll be a senior this fall and wants to go to medical school. Middle was robbed of her prom and expected graduation event like so many other seniors this year. We’re hopeful that she can walk across a stage in July, but we’ll just have to see what happens over the next few weeks. She hasn’t decided what she wants to do with her future, and I told her that’s PERFECTLY OKAY. No pressure. We have plenty of pressure about everything else. If she wants to take a year off and work, fine. If she wants to go to college in the fall, fine. We have time to decide.

Princess Monster will graduate from college next year with her early childhood teaching degree. Also extremely exciting: she wrote her first book for publication! Meet her pen name: Bobbie Jo Hart. Bobbie from Papa (Bobby), Jo is her real middle name, and Hart from Burkhart. Wolf Point Academy is an idea I had last year. I purchased the covers and had a few notes, but I just couldn’t make it happen. When she saw the wolf covers, she said, “Mom, I’ll write it.” And she did such an awesome job! She took just a few notes I had and the first chapter… and ran with it. She’s already completed the first draft of the second book too!

I, however, am not anywhere near that fast. I am trying to be patient with myself. Intellection is one of my top strengths, which means I need to think a lot. It’s not wasting time – even if it feels like it. I have to get the knot of ideas straightened out in my head before I can make much progress. Unfortunately, stress and upheaval makes all that harder to do. My thoughts are consumed with the divorce and all the what ifs. All my brain cells are firing up frantic with all these crazy scenarios — but when it comes time to write, I get nada. Zilch. Some days I can’t even open the file. Other days, I get 100 words. I count it a victory each time.

I’m going back to my tried and true methods. I’m not blocked, exactly. I just don’t have the energy and fire right now. I am mediating again (Headspace). I am lighting incense and a candle each evening when I start to work. I got more distilled water for my fountain (it had run out while we were under lock down and I was scared to go buy more until I got a mask). I put my headphones on with different binaural programs. Zen music. Deep breathing. Affirmations. I’m trying to get at least 7 hours of sleep a night.

Under two weeks to go. Deep breaths. Shara and the Great One Who Is and Was and Always Will Be have my back.

Ack, I’m sorry! I’ve been so behind this year between travel, the Evil Day Job, and now this crazy COVID-19 upheaval. If anyone wants a refund, please contact me. I’m happy to do so.

I finally made it to the dungeon tonight and made up a ton of shirts for the orders. I’ll start packaging everything tomorrow with the goal of getting everything out as quickly as possible.

Thank you for your patience!

One thing I’m trying to do better this year is two-fold. I’m trying to control how much I put on my plate–but I’m also watching the size of my plate.

I don’t want to get into the red zone as in the picture above. Actually, I think it’s too late. I’m in the red-zone, eating on a little saucer, and wondering why there’s no room for anything else.

See, what I didn’t realize for a long time is that the size of your plate can change over time. When you’re going through stressful situations, a health issue, family trouble, etc. the size of your plate can actually decrease. Suddenly all the things you can normally handle and do without second thought keep slipping off the sides, no matter how hard you try to hold on.

It’s like plopping a huge spoon of Granny’s heavy mashed potatoes (she makes them with sour cream and butter) in the middle of the Thanksgiving plate, and all the stuffing, gravy, and green bean casserole drips off the side and stains the tablecloth. A travesty all around!

For me, that’s when something ridiculously minor would send me into a tailspin. Something I could normally take onto my plate without issue was suddenly too much. Everything starts falling apart.

So how do you move from the red plate to the bigger ones?

Some things are completely out of our control. You can’t change a health situation and make it magically better. You can’t resolve family issues overnight. But there are other self-care things you can do to make sure at least the plate doesn’t keep shrinking – or to take some of the tasks off the smaller plate with grace and knowledge that you’re doing the absolute smartest thing to take care of yourself.

For me, that means I’m super behind with NaNoWriMo. This week has been rough. I had TWO after-hour Evil Day Job support issues that affected my three-day weekend. Nothing messes me up like a 2-3 AM work call. Stress PLUS loss of sleep! I had a hard time getting back to sleep, and then I overslept, so I felt like I was behind all weekend. Though I still didn’t feel rested.

Maybe that’s not a big deal for most people, but I typically run all week on 5 hours of sleep each night. I rely on the weekends to catch up. So when I lost my weekend sleep, I started out this week run down. Weepy for no reason. Mentally exhausted.

So much for my grand plans for writing like crazy this week until I leave on another trip next week.

But, again, there’s nothing I can do about that now. I can’t control when a work issue arises. But I can control my mind frame this week and take steps to ensure my plate size doesn’t slip down another notch, or too much starts falling off the sides.

For one thing, I kept saying over and over, “I’m so tired. UGH.” Which of course made me feel even more tired. Every time I caught myself saying that, I changed it to “I’m getting the rest I need.”

Now saying that is a start – but I also have to follow up on that with smart action. Am I getting the rest I need? Not if I’m staying up until 11PM-12AM trying to write when I’m already mentally worn out. Rather than fight to stay awake, I’ve been going to bed 10-10:30 PM. That means I’m only getting a little writing done, but I have to let my sleep catch up a bit or I’m going to get so worn down that I’ll be sick. I’m traveling next week to Houston for RAM (Romance Author Mastermind) and I don’t want to come back with nasty con-crud that goes into something worse because I didn’t take care of myself.

So, fewer words than I’d hoped, but hopefully nothing else is going to fall off my plate and make a mess. It’s not the end of the world to be behind on NaNoWriMo or even to not “win” the 50,000 words. It’s not a YOU LOSE situation. I’d rather keep a steady pace and survive to write next month and next year than win NaNo and suddenly find myself blocked and unable to write for months because I’m burned out.

If you’re behind on NaNoWriMo, you’re not alone! Let’s keep plodding together.