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RBW Week 5

I’m inching closer to 50 lbs lost this year with another -1.2 today.  More and more people are noticing and commenting, which makes me grin from ear to ear.  I’m feeling really good (well, in spite of pneumonia!), but I can’t wait to get to my next goal (not my final goal weight which is still a ways to go).

Right after I had our first monster (who will be 13 in Jan), I did WW at work and lost to the lowest I can remember in many years.  Right after that, we made a major move to another state, I started working from home full time, and we had two more monsters.  I tried all sorts of fad/craze diets and would lose 40-45 pounds, but I couldn’t get past that milestone before I realized I couldn’t live that way forever.

I never made it back to that low weight.

I’ve already passed that 40-45 lb milestone on WW and I know I can live this way.  Although I admit to getting a little anxious when I lose another daily point (lost another one today! ack!).  I rarely eat ALL my points anyway, at least on a daily basis.  About 1-2 times per week I eat the full points and go over a little into my weeklies, typically Friday or Saturday.  But in general, I eat less than I’m allowed (although I always try to get my healthy guidelines in–and I do splurge occasionally), so I don’t know why it freaks me out a little. 

I guess I’m worried that when I do finally get to goal that I won’t have anything left to eat.  Irrational I know.

So much of weight loss is a mind game.  I mean, in theory, all I have to do is eat less and move more.  In time, the weight will come off.  In reality, though, there are all sorts of stressors and mind games I play with myself.  Losing a point is only one of them.  Worrying about how far I still have to go is another.  That stress I start to put on myself — worrying about how long, when, how will I do this — can lead to overeating and general laziness (because I get depressed).

It’s the same with writing a book, though.  I always get to a point when I start to doubt whether I can actually pull off another book, even though I’ve written more than 10 now.  I have to concentrate on the journey, one day at a time, and keep my mind in the game.  FOCUS. 

I can do this.  I can.  And I will.

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