Year: 2014

It dawned on me tonight as I cooked dinner, though I’m sure it won’t come as any surprise to those who know me.

I’m stressed.  I knew that…but I didn’t realize how much it’d been affecting me.

I’ve just been out of it.  I haven’t wanted to cook.  I haven’t wanted to write.  The words won’t come.  I haven’t wanted to exercise.  I’m tired all the time.  Not sleeping the best.  Yet I don’t have anything to show for it.

I have been reading…but not fiction.  Lots of parenting books.  I have a teenage daughter.  Need I say more?

But as I spent nearly two hours in the kitchen tonight trying a new recipe and then experimenting some more, I realized it’d been a long time since I actually felt like cooking something that wasn’t fast and easy.  It’s like I didn’t have the mental capacity to try something new, let alone the energy to expend on a lengthy meal.

The light bulb went on.  For the first time in weeks I actually got off work almost on time.  I didn’t have to immediately jump in the car and drive somewhere to pick up someone.  I had the time to make ham and alfredo lasagna from scratch–and also a homemade cream soup using up the tidbits of wild mushrooms leftover from my Dad’s trip.

Both turned out delicious by the way.

So I have to be patient with myself.  My tank is nearly empty.  So that’s why I haven’t been writing much lately, not even the blog.  The big Evil Day Job project is winding down (hopefully).  RT is only two weeks away, so I’ll be frantic for that, but that’s at least FUN.  We’re hoping to close on the house in June so we’re already in yard sale, donate, throw away mode so we don’t have to move anything but the necessities.

I’ve got a lot going on right now other than writing.  That’s okay.  I just have to give myself time and baby my creative muse.  I’ve been stitching more and have been having a blast making all my book marks.  I’ve lost count – I need to box them up and ship them to the hotel soon.

Who knows – maybe I’ll even get my incredibly delayed Christmas gift finished and mailed.  So I don’t have to move it!!

So Camp NaNo just hasn’t been going so well.  At all.  I’ve just got so much going on right now that I’ve not made any progress at all.  Between the house, my Evil Day Project (now in phase 3, sob, will we ever be done?), and all my RT scrambling, I’ve blown it.

On the bright side, I’ve used up one whole box of 250 business cards making book thongs.  I’ve mailed off some and given several away to my hairdresser, and of course we had a few boo-boos (holes punched too close to edge), so I don’t have exactly 250 book thongs, but I’m happy with how many I’ve managed to make.

Some interesting realizations while making all of these thongs:

1. 200 crimpers seems like a lot.  Until you realize it takes 4 per thong + all the ones that you drop and can’t find in the carpet.  (Those suckers are SMALL.)

2. It’d be a lot easier to store these thongs if I made them the same length.  But I just hack off another length – roughly – and move on.

3. Because I like each one to be as unique as possible.  Even if that’s more work on my part.  Sound familiar?  I just don’t like cookie-cutter approaches to anything.

4. I finally have a system down, using a single strand of black hemp or cotton, crimp the end, add a small bead, which holds the business card on the end, a charm, followed by a large bead and a couple of small ones depending on my mood.  A crimper to hold them in place.  Then a crimper, whatever small beads I want to add, maybe another charm, and a final crimper on the opposite end.

5. The silk ribbon was a huge pain in the ass because I didn’t have the right beads.  Tiny holes = huge headache, even with slender silk ribbon.  Much easier for large-hole lampwork or pony beads.

I’ve just about used up all my handcuffs and keys.  I have maybe 50 or so masks left.  I guess I’ll either be done at that point…

OR ORDER MORE!  You never know.  I’m kind of addicted at this point.

I’ll post some pictures of all my loot soon.

I’m moody when it comes to color.

In writing, I’m all black and red, mixed in with grays and white.  Every once in a while I get a craving for brilliant blue or emerald green, but in general, my colors are solid.

However, in my non-writing life, I’m a little OCD with color.  I go through “cravings” where I like certain combinations and want to buy new kitchen towels or a new bedspread.  But after a year or so, I’m DONE with that color.  I’m glad for the item to wear out so I can replace it with the new craving!

I’ve loved blue and yellow.  Earth tones.  Antiqued reds and blacks.  Copper.  Chocolate and turquoise.  It’s crazy.  Sometimes I satisfy this thirst for color through my crafts — much cheaper than indulging in a new kitchen theme!  But even then, I get tired of certain projects because of the monotonous color scheme.  (I’ve never actually been able to complete a monochromatic cross stitch project before for that very reason.)

So now, we’re trying to pick out colors for the new house and I can’t make up my mind.  I’m afraid in a year or five, I’ll be sick of the color.  I don’t want anything brown or beige in the house.  Except maybe the wall color.

I’m trying to pick “timeless” colors.  Neutrals as my core colors, and then I can change the accessories as my whimsy changes over the years.  But if I eliminate browns, that means my neutrals become black and gray (I won’t have anything white – we’ve got three kids and two dogs).  I’ve already picked out clean black Shaker-style cabinets.  Now I have to figure out the floor color, and then the granite.

And I can’t decide.

We’ve at least narrowed the flooring down to bamboo.  The living/dining/kitchen area are all open and all the same flooring.  I can’t go too dark, since the cabinets are already dark.  But I don’t like light woods at all.  We almost went with carpet in the living room and tile in the kitchen/dining, but I don’t like the mix of surfaces.  We have that now in the rental (actually three surfaces with laminate wood in the dining room) and the carpet seams over time begin to look frayed and worn.

So bamboo it is.  But there are currently three different finishes we’re looking at.  Of course the girls aren’t helping any.  One likes this, the other doesn’t have an opinion, and Princess hates everything and can’t be pleased even if it was gold plated and blessed by One Direction.  I can’t pick the granite or wall color until I figure this flooring thing out.  Sigh.

Don’t even get me started on what flooring we’re doing downstairs in the teenage hangout.  *headdesk*  One wants ceramic tiles that look like wood, which makes the other want to puke.  ARGH!

To complicate matters, the places our builder has told us to go aren’t open on the weekend, and both That Man and I have to work.  Thank goodness for the online places that will send free samples!  I have one last sample coming this week and can hopefully finalize the flooring.  That will help pinpoint everything else.

Any favorite design pointers you can share?

Sorry I’ve been quiet around here lately.  The push to get the big Evil Day Job project I’ve been working on since last fall into production started last week.  I’m relieved and still very shocked that everything has moved and *knocks on wood* ran successfully last night.  I’m afraid this “easy button” will bite me later (this job runs monthly) but at least this first run was successful.  Woot!

Things are still stressful but nowhere near as bad as the last 3+ months have been.  Plus I know an upcoming project will let me work with Wanda again, so that’s super wonderful.  I can’t wait!  It’s probably been at least ten years since we got to work on a project together.

On the home front, we have faced a major stressful decision over the last few weeks.  Our lease is up in June, so we already knew we wanted to move.  I hate the heat pump in this house, we freeze all the time, our electric bill’s insane, and worse, starting this fall I have no bus service to the junior high for three years as Middle and then Littlest move schools.  We’ve been here going on four years, but we *have* to move.  I can’t worry about late afternoon meetings keeping me from picking them up on time.

But there’s nothing to rent in our price range that has at least 4 bedrooms.  Lots of mansions!  But nothing for an average family.  We’ve been looking the past year and still haven’t found anything.  So we bit the bullet and began looking to buy a house.  *gulp*  We signed a purchase agreement on a house last night.  *double gulp, passes out*

It’s in our old neighborhood before we moved here and the bus literally stops in front of the house.  The kids will have access to the community pool and playground (though they’re probably almost too old for it!)  It’s currently under construction, so it works perfectly with our lease timing, since the house isn’t technically on the market yet.  The teenagers will have plenty of space to hang out in the basement, everyone will have their own room, and I’ll still have a nice office on the main floor.  Plus the kitchen will be really nice and large.  (Our backup plan was an existing house in the same neighborhood, if it was still on the market in a few months, but the kitchen was ridiculously small.  Plus it’s been on the market since June, so there were no guarantees that it’d even still be around in April/May.)

So right after RT… I’ll be frantically packing us up to move again!  Hopefully this’ll be the last time we move until we’re ready to downsize after all the kids have graduated and moved out.

On the writing front, Mama C’s off my plate waiting on a decision, first round edits on The Billionaire Submissive are done, and I’m working on a new old project.  I’m not going to say which yet because I don’t want to jinx myself.  The words have been slow, but I’ve restarted my chain in March and chipping away every single day.  If the words start flowing fast and crazy again, I’ll let you know which one I’m working on!