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Maya Fantasy Blurb

Close your eyes.  Take a deep breath.  Smell the coffee brewing, fresh, crisp books, and stories just waiting to be read?  Great.  Open your eyes and pretend this blurb is on the back of one of those books.  Would you want to read the story?  Opinions and feedback welcomed.

The working title was NIGHT SUN RISING but now that I’m in the query stage, I’ve been calling it THE BLOODGATE CODEX.  Which do you like better?

Epigrapher Dr. Jaid Merritt is known as the “Un-Indiana Jones” on campus, but when her father disappears, she follows him to Guatemala with the ancient codex he discovered.  In the ruins of the city once called the Mouth of Creation, she learns that the fables she’s been translating are frighteningly real:  there really are “Bloodgates” to the mystical realms of the Maya gods, her father disappeared through one of these portals, and in the process, he accidentally released demons bent on human sacrifice.  Now she must find a way to save him, force the demons back to Xibalba, and survive the wrath of the werejaguar priest who guards the magic as the Gatekeeper.

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Connections

Follow me, for a moment.  I swear this will all make sense.  The following are all somehow related:

 

In the back of my mind, I’ve been mulling over May’s crit, in particular her comments about two secondary characters for which I hadn’t done the greatest job.  In fact, I’d gotten lazy.  Remember the week of Valentine’s Day when we ran the Character Clinic, and I said that if you could kill a character, without impacting the story, then the character wasn’t needed?

Dr. Geoffrey Malcolm was a useless character.  I don’t think it’s too huge a spoiler (since this happens in chapter 2) to say that he’s the guy who dies in the first 10 minutes of the movie.  He’s supposed to help the reader feel sympathetic toward Jaid, to show how she’s damaged, but otherwise, he really didn’t have a purpose.

Huge mistake.  Huge!

Dr. Reyes, a secondary character that Jaid meets in Guatemala, was perhaps even worse.  He was the “plot needs him” character.  I needed him to be there for certain big events, but he had no depth.  I’d gotten lazy again and forgot my own saying:  every character is the star of his own story.

Dr. Reyes had no story to tell other than helping–or causing difficulty–at the right plot point.

So what does this all have to do with the other points above?  I’ve been a fan of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way for at least a year or two now, and this year, I’ve been writing more regularly in my daily journal.  I’m trying really hard to remain OPEN all the time, and just watch and wait for the right inspiration to come.  Now, more than ever, I really needed some inspiration.  How was I going to put some sparkle into these two characters after so many revisions already?

Bright and early this morning, the twitterverse and blogosphere was thrilled with Susan Boyle’s performance of I Dreamed A Dream.  I watched it and bawled.  I watched it again, and bawled some more.  While working this morning, I kept thinking about why it had touched me — and so many other people.  Here’s a 47 year old lady who’s never even been kissed!  Going out on stage in front of millions of people, putting her dream on the line.  People laughed at her.  They braced for a William Hung quality performance, and instead, she rocked the house, just as she promised. 

A fantastic story, right?  But there’s more to it, if you look at the song she chose to sing. 

I dreamed a dream.  I dreamed that love would never die.  No song unsung.  But the tigers come at night.  As they tear your dreams apart.  And still I dream he’ll come to me.  But there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms we cannot weather.

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

*sobs*  That song, coming from her mouth, dreaming since she was 12 years old that she could be a singer, and now, finally, that dream has sparked to life once more.  That’s powerful stuff.

And I’m sitting here, listening, thinking, and I know that I can use this.  This emotion, the common human element of having a dream, watching it die, struggling to live anyway, trying not to hope because it’s so painful…

Dr. Reyes had a dream too, it turns out.  A dream he watched go up in smoke, literally.

As for the other television shows I listed, all of them have impacted the Maya fantasy in some fashion.  I love the FBI as portrayed on Numb3rs and tried to build a similar team under Special Agent Quinn Salazar.  I love the ambiguity in Prison Break:  one moment a bad guy is trying to kill them; the next he’s the only one who can help them.  Back and forth, up and down, there is no “white” or “black” character in that show, merely shades of gray.  Even Michael has been “tainted” by his actions.  People have died thanks to him, even though all he set out to do was save his brother.  Everybody has a line to cross, and that show makes them cross that line over and over and over.

But the biggest impact is probably Charlie’s big map of connections.  I love that idea and I swear I’m going to do this for the next major project.  Every person he comes into contact with goes up on his board and he starts figuring out how they know each other, why they did certain things, whether he can trust  them or not. 

Everything’s connected.  That’s how I found Geoffrey’s purpose.  He’s connected in a way I never expected, and that connection ends up helping Jaid from beyond the grave.  Or as I should say, even though Geoffrey has entered the White Road, he still manages to give her the clue she needs at the right time.

Now to fix–or rather complicate–Dr. Sam Gerard’s life with a little Oedipus complex, and liven up One Death a little more, har har, and then I’ll get back to the synopsis.

This has certainly been the project from Xibalba, but the story is tightening so much I think it’ll squeak when you read it.

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The Maya Fantasy Opening

Revision #113 or something like that. 

It’s just that pesky first line and the next few paragraphs.  So small, yet so important.  They must set the mood, the language, the character…they must be compelling, moving, tempting you to continue turning the page.  I sat over lunch today with a notebook and pen while I scribbled, doodled, crossed out, ripped, wadded up, and started over again until I finally settled on this.  What do you think, compared to the old opening here?

He never hated his magic until it compelled him to kill.
 
From the broken shadows of his temple, the once all-powerful priest watched the encroacher attempt to work the same doomed magic.  Brilliant ruby pooled in the pocked basin of the altar and overflowed, streaming the hand-carved stone in vibrant filigree.  The blood glowed like molten rock hot from the earth’s heart, releasing magic into the night.
 
The priest shuddered, his skin crawling in the caress of power.  His nostrils flared to catch the faint tantalizing scent of sweet copper.  Such temptation.  He tightened his grip on the starved jaguar pacing within him.  Such power. 
 
The city once known as the Mouth of Creation had kept his secrets for a thousand years.  Now he must kill this man to protect that forbidden knowledge.
 
Keeping to the shadows, the priest called out, “As Gatekeeper of Chi’Ch’ul, I command you to leave my city or die.”

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Revision Xibalba

The project that never dies, even when I chop off its head!

Thanks to some incredibly insightful comments from May, I have a few more things I want to tweak in the Maya fantasy.  The opening still isn’t strong enough.  I need to make it more personal from the first line.  I think I have an idea for that.  She also thought Geoffrey was a useless character, and yeah, he is, sort of.  So I need to make him matter in a way that’s currently missing.  I have an idea, there, too — I just need to put the pieces together.  She made similar notes about One Death and Dr. Reyes.  They’re a little too shallow compared to the other more intricate characters.

This story is all about crossing lines.  Everyone is forced to cross a line they swore they never would.  I failed to do so for these three characters in particular.  They weren’t POV or major characters, so I got lazy.  *slaps self*

And the synopsis is still on my list, as well as a hook/blurb.  I really want these done this week — I can’t stand all these details hanging over my head.  I want to be DONE and moving with the next project.  I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of Xibalba!! 

In other news, I finished reading Clockwork Heart.  I don’t think I’ll write up a full review, but I’ll be happy to chat in comments or e-mail if anyone wants to.  It was a good story, but I didn’t enjoy it as much as New Blood by Gail Dayton.  I really liked some of the elements of the worldbuilding, but the characters….meh.  Just didn’t blaze on the page if you know what I mean.  I thought the archaic programming of the Great Engine with punch cards was very interesting (remember, I’m a computer programmer for the Evil Day Job), and I was intrigued by the social structure. A good read, especially if you like clockwork and engine elements of Steampunk.

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Easter Miscellany

It’s already been a crazy weekend. 

Papa from Mexico (my Dad) called to say he’d like to come down tomorrow, which is always a treat, so we decided to do some kind of Easter “dinner.”  I’m still sick of ham–overdosed from Christmas–so we decided to do prime rib.  Now That Man does a mighty mean prime rib, and once news got out, our guest list grew.  We always love to have company, but the house was a pit and those rib roasts aren’t exactly cheap.  We cleaned Friday night and headed out for loads of food shopping today.

Finally, after months of checking, I found a Wii-Fit at our local Wal-Mart.  I haven’t tried it yet, but Princess Monster is loving it.  (So if I never even step on it, I’ll still count it a victory.)  I stocked up on everything for Potato Salad and Spinach Salad, as well as some veggies I think I’ll roast.  I also bought a huge tub of strawberries so I’m not so tempted by whatever dessert Aunt BB brings.

We’d just got home from numerous stops all over town to hear that Grandma K in the Hospital (the monsters’ Great Grandmother, who’s been in the nursing home pretty much all of Littlest Monster’s life, so that’s what she calls her) is doing very poorly.  Hospice doesn’t think she’ll make it through the weekend.  So That Man decided to make a quick trip over “just in case” and Middle Monster wanted to go with him.  The other two monsters and I stayed home (we didn’t think all of us needed to cram in there if she’s truly not doing that well, and we did see her just a week or two ago).  They cleaned the pit of their room while I started some basic preparations for tomorrow.

We still have Easter eggs to dye, potatoes to peel, etc. but we’ll take care of all that tomorrow.

Meanwhile, the monsters are frantically looking for their Easter baskets.  When Princess Monster was born, we lived in MN and since I worked in the home office, I was exposed to all sorts of parties, everything from Pampered Chef to Tupperware to Longaberger baskets, and yes, I bought a special basket for her first Easter.  Of course, I had to do the same for the other two monsters.  So they have these fantastic, extremely expensive baskets that they get out once a year…..and they can’t find them.  We moved last summer and I have no idea where they are.

[Updated:  the baskets have been found!  Whew]

As for writing, I’ve been wracking (haha, inside story joke) my brain, trying to come up with a really peppy hook for the Maya fantasy.  I have the general concept of the world/series down to two words — but the actual story, heroine, etc. is causing me a huge headache.  I also started reading Clockwork Heart, no verdict yet, and I played a bunch of computer games, everything from Farm Craft to Curse of the Pharaoh.  My biggest complaint lately has been not enough worlds/levels — they’re over too fast!

Oh, and remember when Deena challenged me ages ago to write a zombie romance?  I’ve got a near-finished copy of the freakishly awesome anthology in my hot little hands–BUMP IN THE NIGHT from Drollerie Press.  My short story, “Broken Angel:  A Zombie Love Story” is included.  Watch for it to release next week!

So what are your plans for Easter?

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Steamboy

Thanks to my growing interest in steampunk, I added this animated movie, Steamboy, to my Netflix queue and watched it a few days ago.  I have to admit that I wasn’t nearly as impressed as I was with Howl’s Moving Castle.

The Steams are a family of inventors:  James, his father Dr. Eddie, and his grandfather, Dr. Lloyd.  They’ve been working on a brand new “sphere” that can withstand an unbelievable amount of pressure, powering larger and more fantastic engines.  When not well received in Britain, the two older scientists move to American funding, and that’s where things start to fall apart for me.

The anti-American, anti-war themes were just a little too heavy handed.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, Howl’s Moving Castle had an anti-war theme too.  I loved it.  In Steamboy, there were no layers or nuances.  Everyone except James, the boy, was a money-hungry, war-loving fool, or so it seemed.  Except maybe his grandfather, who was more crazy than anything else.

And oh, don’t get me started about the only major female character in this movie, young Scarlett O’Hara.  What a total parody.  She was a despicable character, hitting her dog, nasty from the very beginning, and certainly too rich and powerful to have any sort of “morals.”  They tried to pull off a hint of a romance between her and James, and it failed miserably, because she was so unlikeable.  She never changed, either.  Although she did try to help James at the end, it was more like a spoiled tantrum than anything else.

A real disappointment for me.  If you’re looking for a steampunk animation, I highly recommend Howl’s Moving Castle instead.

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Demonica Winner

A huge thank you to everyone who commented and e-mailed me to enter.  What a great crowd!  I hope you all will pick up one of Larissa’s books and give this series a chance!

The winner of Pleasure Unbound, Desire Unchained, and Passion Unleashed is:

 

azteclady!

I’ll e-mail you for your snail mail address!

Thanks again, everyone.  Now go read a really good book!

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Revision Xibalba

Quetzls sang, warriors beat spears against their shields, and there was great rejoicing across the land, for the third (polish) pass of the Maya fantasy has been completed.

All of my [notes] have been answered.  All of my other notes I captured as I read through the third time have been answered.  I tied up a few nagging things that sagged a little too much — and the story reads pretty tight and fast, if I do say so myself.

Now I’ll e-mail the story to my beloved sis, my dear friend Wanda, and Soleil who volunteered once again to act as a beta reader.  I’ll also e-mail the story to myself.  It may sound odd, but I like to read a completed story in gmail using the view as html option.  Something about the changed formatting helps me see issues almost as well as on paper.  Once I gather their feedback and mine, I’ll print the sucker out and make one last pass on paper — but in a couple of weeks.  I want some time to clear my mind so I can read it a bit colder with more distance.

In the meantime, I’ll whip up a synopsis and decide which project is next.

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On Movies and Reading

That Man surprised us with Race to Witch Mountain last night, staring The Rock, Dwayne Johnson.  He’s one of my favorite actors, no secret there (since he’s who I would cast as Ruin in the Maya fantasy).  I never saw the original Witch Mountain Disney movies, but I really enjoyed this one.  Oh, there were a few things that bugged me, but overall it was a blast.  The only really annoying thing was trying to sit through the movie with the monsters.  Princess Monster–the oldest!!–had to go potty three times; the two youngest went twice. 

[Note to self:  when we go in the next few weeks to see the Hannah Montana movie, no pop!  For anybody!!]

Then we came home and watched Hitman thanks to Netflix.  I love assassins (no secret there with Gregar and all), and I definitely came away with a few story ideas itching in the back of my brain, but gah, the body count was horrendous!  I wish more of 47’s backstory had been covered.  What organization raised him?  How did they get him as a kid?  I was also confused about why the rest of his organization were trying to kill him.  We did enjoy it, but it’s not one I’d watch again.

I also finished New Blood by Gail Dayton this weekend.  I absolutely loved the blood magic throughout.  Totally up my alley.  Blood sorcery and the resulting relationship between Amanusa and Jax is very similar to my blood bond stuff I use, with a whole magic rule built around it.  Very cool.  I did have a little nagging feeling as I read the book that’s hard to explain.  It was a little episodic, if that makes sense?  Just moving from one place to another.  Yeah, there were issues and attacks, but they weren’t tightly woven together.  It was still an engrossing read, it just lacked a little bit of something that would have made it all the better.

Meanwhile, I’m still working through the Maya polish.  I have about 130 more pages to go and a synopsis to write.

What’s the next project in the hopper?  I haven’t decided yet.  It’ll either be 7Crows, the science fiction Regency, or the original SFR spoof that spawned into 7Crows, or possibly, RHP, the Regency fantasy.  At least those are the projects that are bubbling the most on the stove.  I still need to write Given in Fire, the third Keldari novella, before I turn in the third and final Shanhasson book (so all threads are woven tightly between Keldar and Shanhasson).

No, sorry, I don’t know when Road will be coming out yet.  We obviously missed the 20th.  A few anthology projects are sitting in front of Road but as soon as I have a new date, I’ll update the website.  It should be soon!!!