Category: The Writing

Posted on by — 12 Comments

Upcoming: MayNoWriMo

I’m thinking about organizing a MayNoWriMo challenge.  No, you don’t have to write 50K in May — but I like the idea of setting a goal and then working my ass off to reach it.  When several people get together and work their asses off to reach their goals, something magical happens.  We can begin to feed on each other’s excitement.  Success breeds success.  Synergy builds. 

We could get a lot done in May if we set our minds to it.

My initial thought involves a temporary yahoo group that is disbanded shortly after the challenge.  Everybody sets a goal for the month.  e.g. Revise 250 pages.  250 words a day.  Write 50K first draft.  Send out 20 queries.  Something.  I don’t care what it is, but it has to be measurable and it should be attainable.

Attainable is key.  Did you know the success rate for NaNoWriMo is something like 10%?  How many people used to sign up for Sweating with Sven and then quietly drop out?  If you need a little extra motivation and encouragement, I think prizes may help us stay the course.

The group list would be for support and checking in.  Everyone who meets their goal will be entered to win a grand prize.  I’m not sure what that prize will be, either a gift certificate, a writing book on craft, a nice journal, etc.  Something along those lines. 

After the celebration at the end of the month, the list will be debanded.  I’ve been on a lot of writing groups over the years, and they’re exciting for a month or two, but then the list kind of dies.  That’s why I’d plan to use the list to have fun, encourage, reach our goals, and then move on.

So what do you think?  Is anyone interested in committing to the challenge?  What kind of prizes would you like to see?

Posted on by — 5 Comments

Winner & Vicki Snippet

Thank you, everyone, for reading e-books!  Tina, you’re the winner of yesterday’s giveaway!  Please drop me a note (joelysueburkhart AT gmail DOT com) with your selection from my backlist and the format you’d like.

And now to the snippet!  Here, Vicki has taken Jesse on an innocent shopping trip, which doesn’t end up quite so…innocent. 

She turned around, looking for Jesse, and found him mesmerized by a white fluffy negligee a few rows back in the lingerie department. Slowly, she walked back toward him, trying to figure out why he found the silly thing so interesting. It was innocent and frilly, totally not her style. He’d already said she was red, passion, fire. Not meek and insipid white, let alone such a feminine, helpless looking outfit.

Her hackles rose just looking at the damned thing, but she tried to keep the bite out of her voice. “You’re not picturing me in that, are you?”

His cheeks flushed but he met her gaze with a sheepish shrug of his shoulders. “So sue me, I’m a man, and I think you’d be hot in it.”

“In this?” Incredulity rang in her voice and he smiled wider. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Remember the surprise factor.”

That took her aback. When choosing colors and patterns only by her personal preference, she’d created a solid but boringly conservative line, which was far from what she’d hoped to accomplish.

“I already knew you were strong, kind, gorgeous, and that once you make up your mind to do something, you do it one hundred percent all the way.” His voice roughened into a whiskey husky drawl. “I heard enough last night to know that you’re also uninhibited and sexy as hell.”

Now it was her turn to blush. He just had to get in a dig about what all he’d heard last night. “What’s your point?”

“If you were to deliberately pick out something to wear for Reyes, I bet you’d choose red or black, right? This is totally unexpected. It screams innocence and shyness, a direct contradiction to your personality. If you were to slip this little baby on for your cop, I guarantee he’ll swallow his tongue in surprise, and then blow a gasket trying to get you out of it.”

Doubtfully, she took the hanger off the rack to examine the negligee closer. She tried to picture herself in it, and failed. Just thinking about it made her feel awkward, shy, and stupid, none of which she typically felt, especially around Elias. He brought out the vixen—or the crocodile—in her. Not the blushing virgin.

Maybe that’s exactly Jesse’s point.

He stepped close enough to whisper. “Hold it up to you. Let me imagine you wearing it.” For me.

He didn’t say the last words out loud, but she heard the longing in his voice, the intent in his body. Could he be right? Would Elias like her in such a feminine, innocent-looking nightgown?

She held the negligee beneath her chin and watched Jesse’s eyes flare wider, darken to the mysterious lost-lagoon depths.

“If you think it’s too…”

“Virginal,” she said wryly.

His mouth quirked and he dipped his head. “Then wear something brazen beneath, like a see-through thong. Or better yet, nothing at all.”

She arched a brow at him in warning but he only smiled wider. “That reminds me. You need underwear and socks. Hmmm. I wonder what size you are?”

Since he was so close, it was easy enough to reach around his waist and slide her fingers down the back of his saggy jeans in search of the waistband tag.

Mistake. Huge. Because instead of cotton, her fingers met only bare skin.

“Jesse. You are not wearing any underwear.”

A muffled gasp drew her attention. A blushing, wide-eyed saleslady stared at them.

“No, ma’am.” Whispering, he dropped his head and allowed his shoulders to droop, that automatic, innate signal of surrender she recognized despite her refusals to ever consider learning more about the BDSM lifestyle as her brother urged. “Extras were a luxury, and I don’t mind going without.”

Glaring at the ogling saleslady, Vicki shoved her hand down further. Her index finger lodged between his cheeks, the rest of her hand cupping his buttock. Jesse quivered beneath her grip but otherwise didn’t move a muscle, while the saleslady flushed even darker and finally whirled to disappear down a side aisle.

She tried to keep her voice firm instead of sultry, but her voice sounded like she’d just slugged a flask of Jack Daniels. “I thought we agreed to no flirting.”

“Um, it’s your hand down my pants. Ma’am.”

She couldn’t help leaning into him, squeezing firmly, letting him feel how strong her hands were. She’d grown up on a ranch and although she had two older brothers, her parents had always believed in hard work for every single person in the family. “What did I tell you to call me?”

“I can’t,” he breathed short and fast. “If I say your name while you’re touching me like this, I might not be able to control myself.”

Posted on by — 4 Comments

Sniffles

I’ve been really lucky this winter — I don’t think I’ve been sick once.  Unfortunately, I now have a spring cold.  Ugh.  No voice and stuffy nose, hence the blog title.  It’s making my new workouts incredibly difficult but I wheezed my way through today!

Then I got my author copies of Dear Sir, I’m Yours and did some happy sniffles!  Yes, I did pet and hug them.  I’ll be giving away a copy for St. Patrick’s Day here on the blog, and I’m also going to be ordering more copies of Dear Sir for more extensive promo mailings.  That means plenty of copies to give away here and on Twitter!  (I already gave away a copy today.)

I finished the line edits on The Bloodgate Guardian and shipped it off to my editor.  I don’t have a formal release date yet, but I’m guessing it’ll be June/July and I can’t wait to share the cover!  It gives me chills every time I look at it.

Of course Vicki is still under way.  I reached the candybar scene in Victor’s office.  The next big candybar scene will be an interesting idea that Shiloh came up with to utilize VCONN’s extensive market to help launch Vicki’s line.  I know many of you are anxious for more snippets, and I’ll do my best to taunt you with little bits here and there.  I’m wicked that way.  🙂

I’ll be packaging items to mail on Friday, so if you want bookmarks (for either Rose or Dear Sir – I have new ones for both!) drop me a note.

Posted on by — 6 Comments

State of the Writing

I was on a roll for Vicki, and then the first major sex scene totally derailed me.  Last week I picked at the story each night, but I was lucky to get a couple of hundred words, where the weeks before I was clearing 1-2K easily.  However, I was able to finish several “summary” scenes that were important but not “candy bar scenes.”

The big candy bar scene I’m now ready for is with Victor on page.  I decided I should re-read part of his book last night to make sure I got his voice right…….and then ended up reading until midnight.  Oops.

It doesn’t help that I started a new workout routine this week.  I tend to obsess.  (Who, moi?)  I’ve been wholly consumed with getting back on track in exercise, which seems to have done a number on my writing.  However, I know that exercise will make me feel better and eventually, improve my sense of wellbeing and fire my creativity.  Or so I’ve been told.  Right now, I’m still cripping around groaning at sore muscles.

Meanwhile, I’m working on line edits for The Bloodgate Guardian, due back 3/10.  I worked for awhile today and got through about 1/3, so I’m in good shape.

My goals for this month:

  • 50K in Vicki so I can finish her next month.
  • Edits on The Bloodgate Guardian and Victor as they come up.
  • Promo mailings for Dear Sir, I’m Yours.  I have some excellent bookmarks!  If you’d like some, drop me an e-mail and I’ll see what I can do.
Posted on by — 1 Comment

Friday Snippet: Vicki & Elias

This has to be the last snippet, gang, sorry.  To make it up to you, it’s a juicy one.  Sorry it’s late.  This whole week has gotten away from me.  I didn’t get anywhere near the word count I wanted, and our weekend is packed.  Sigh.  Hopefully next week will be better. 

Elias set her down long enough for him to shuck his pants, while she shed her clothes in record time. Then he slammed her up against the wall so hard the whole house shook.

By the quirk of his mouth, he knew damned well how that must have sounded to Jesse downstairs. “Condom?”

Breathless, she narrowed her eyes, tempted to tell him yes just to piss him off. She was on the pill, but they’d been broken up for more months than she cared to count. “Have you been with anyone else?”

“No.” Somehow, he managed to sound insulted. “I’m not the one with the hot cabana boy downstairs listening to our every groan.”

“I’m not the one who walked out on us, and no, if you’re curious, I haven’t been with anyone else either.”

She pushed the shirt the rest of the way off his shoulders, reveling in the sheer strength in his body. He wasn’t a big man, but he carried a wallop of power in his lean, six-foot-tall frame. He’d trained for years, so he knew exactly how to use every muscle. His neck and shoulders corded and flexed, effortlessly shifting her higher on the wall.

“No condom,” she whispered, winding her fingers in the short, dark hair at the base of his neck. “Just you, Spike.”

Half in play but also deadly serious, he snarled and snapped his teeth at her ear. He gripped her shoulder in his jaws, biting just this side of pain, and she couldn’t suppress the delicious shiver that rocked her body against his. With a brutal thrust, he shoved inside her so hard that a cry tore out of her throat and she cracked her skull on the wall.

He knew exactly what she liked; he knew how much she could take; and he certainly already knew how slick and wet she was for him. The only problem: it’d been too long for him, too. After just a few thrusts, he shuddered and poured into her.

Panic made her pulse flutter like a butterfly trapped in a glass. Need pounded inside her as strong as his thrusts, demanding, hammering for attention. Her skin felt raw, like she’d rolled around in glass and sharp rocks, swollen and so damned tight that she wanted to scream at him for finishing so quickly.

“Damn you,” she ground out, clawing his back hard enough he grunted and thudded inside her on another pulse. “You son of a bitch. God, I need you so bad. What am I supposed to do now? I hurt!”

He actually had the audacity to laugh. “You’re insatiable, Vik.”

Furious, desperate tears burned her eyes. He’d said she was like a hungry crocodile. Maybe he was tired of trying to keep her satisfied. Maybe that’s why she suddenly found herself attracted to two men. Fury, need, and shame twisted inside her. She shoved at his chest, threw her elbow at his throat, and the more he tried to contain her struggles, the harder she fought him.

In a smooth move they must teach at the police academy, he flipped her over and used his weight to pin her against the wall. Awkwardly, she flailed back at him with both arms, but he snagged first one wrist and then the other in the small of her back. The more she squirmed, the higher he pushed her arms until her muscles quivered and her shoulders burned with pain.

“I’ve got you, babe,” he whispered in a devilishly relaxed—fully satiated—voice. “You know I’ll take good, long, hard care of you.”

Posted on by — 8 Comments

Good News for Victor!

I just signed the contract for Victor (Hurt Me So Good) to go to Samhain!  I’m so happy and relieved.  Of course I love Victor and those of you who’ve helped me with beta reads were all very positive, but I was still nervous since I have a new editor this time around.  I’ll keep you posted on the official release date.

Oh, and I saw the cover workup for The Bloodgate Guardian (title change from Codex) and it made me do another Snoopy dance.  I made everyone at dinner (we met Uncle J, Aunt BB, and Grandma and Grandpa at Tasia) look at it on my iPhone.  As soon as I can share, I’ll let you know. 

Sorry I didn’t post a snippet today — just too busy.  I’ve started a new workout routine and it is KILLING me.  In a good way.  I hope.  Ouch.  Wince.

Posted on by — 2 Comments

Vicki Catches Jesse Peeping

I’ve slowed down on the snippets because the writing has slowed down too.  I finally finished the big sex scene, and then totally lost momentum.  Maybe I just needed a breather!  I’m still tapping away on the next chapter but it’s not going as well as I’d like.  I’m hoping to hit 30K by Sunday, but I’m nowhere near that right now.

This section immediately follows the last snippet I posted (Jesse ran toward the door like zombies were crawling out of the TV).

Warning: sexual content, voyeurism.

Not a moment too soon, because she slammed into Elias and attacked his shirt. He’d left his tie and jacket in the truck, but he couldn’t remember if he had any spare clothes here. Jerking at the button on her jeans, he bit her bottom lip so hard her breath hissed out, spurring her to yank harder.

“Watch the shirt, babe. I have to show up for work tomorrow without looking like I was mugged.”

A button tinged on the wall. “I’ll make you a new one.”

He jammed his hand down the front of her jeans, wincing at the zipper digging into his skin, but he couldn’t slow down. He had to stroke her, see how turned on she was, how quickly she came at his touch. It’d tell him a lot about how much she’d missed him.

She rolled her hips, squirming against him, helping him work his fingers deeper, past the satin, hooking his finger beneath…

“Yes,” he growled out against her ear. “You’re so wet and hot you’re going to come…now,” he finished, a bit surprised. He hadn’t meant it as a command, but she shuddered, groaning deep in her throat.

Her cry of pleasure rose in intensity, her hunger flaming higher. Tightening her arms around his neck, she hopped up against him, forcing him catch her with his free arm while she wrapped her legs around his waist.

“Hurry,” she moaned, but then she stiffened in his arms, just a moment, and he wondered if she was going to come again so quickly. He buried a finger inside her and she shuddered, her voice rising, wild and desperate. “Elias, please!”

He started for her bedroom, but a soft noise made him hesitate. It sounded like a low moan. He whipped his head around as the door snicked shut. Damn that punk. If he’d thought to watch the show…

“I need you,” she whispered, thrusting and stroking her tongue in his ear, her breath hot and frantic, and Elias forgot to care.

#

Leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, Jesse struggled to calm his breathing. She’d looked at him over the cop’s shoulder. She’d seen him standing there, jeans gaping open to ease the misery, jerking in climax. If the cop had turned around and seen him indecently exposed, he’d probably be a gelding.

A muffled thump, a low, hard voice, and Jesse felt the stirring in his groin all over again. He stumbled down the stairs, washed his hands, and cleaned up the mess as quickly as possible. Then he stripped naked, stretched out on the bed she’d given him, and stared up at the ceiling.

The thumps were louder. Yes, he’d been right. Her bedroom was directly above. He closed his eyes and imagined how the cop was making love to her. Not the bed, not yet. They’d been too urgent to make it that far.

Jesse scrambled to his knees and planted his hands on the wall above the headboard. Yes, against the wall, vibrating with their passion. Braced on his knees, he imagined her pressed against his back, stroking his chest and stomach, lingering, playing low on his belly while she laughed huskily in his ear.

When she screamed, he would be the one rocking the bed.

Posted on by — 3 Comments

Vicki: Elias Comes Home

This is a little heavy on backstory and introspection, which might be cut in revision, but I need to make sure Elias is more than an asshole. At least sometimes. 

😉

Elias slipped his seldom-used key into her locked door and eased it open. Why so stealthily, he hated to admit. It made him feel sneaky and mean, hoping to catch her in a compromising position, and also sick to his stomach at the thought. He didn’t know if he could really face that reality. He could talk about it, even joke about it, but if he saw her having sex with another man, it might be the last breath that bastard would ever take.

Even if that man was Jesse, who managed to give off that helpless victim vibe that must have drawn the vilest perps in Dallas.

Elias knew he had no right to claim her sole affections, not after abandoning her these past months. Frustrated rage at his job had simmered over into his personal life. When Donnie had been killed, Elias could only picture himself lying dead in the street. He’d like to think that maybe he’d wanted to protect her from ever ending up a sobbing widow leaning over his coffin, but he couldn’t lie to himself.

Her client had blown his partner away.

She’d only being doing her job, that just happened to run counter to his. But she didn’t have to do it so f*cking well.

So he’d taken his rage out on her, even though he knew it was stupid. He knew he’d been a prick. She was a strong woman and she could carry a hell of a lot, but that didn’t make it right for him to dump the blame on her shoulders. Especially when I carry Donnie’s death on my back, too.

It would serve him right if she’d moved on and found another man. A man who didn’t work himself to death in case a drug dealer didn’t get to him first. Or a kid who worships the ground she walks on because she saved him.

The lights were off but the television was playing one of those ridiculous black-and-white zombie movies she loved so much. Two heads were visible above the couch, although Jesse’s was low and tucked into her neck more than Elias cared to see. Nothing suspicious was going on; they were just watching a movie.

Doubt ate away at him. She’d been so upset, so desperate earlier when they’d talked on the phone. Maybe they’d already done the deed hours ago. Instead of serving dinner, maybe she’d taken Jesse on top of the table.

Elias knew full well that she was a passionate woman. The kid was so eager and desperate to belong to her, that God only knew how far he’d pushed her. Elias couldn’t even bring himself to blame him. He’d do a hell of a lot to keep her himself, even if the last few months hadn’t proven how much he cared about her.

He shut the door quietly, but her head whipped around. Her eyes met his, and he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she hadn’t found release in anyone else’s arms. Not by the fire in her eyes. He swore the temperature in the room spiked twenty degrees.

Beside her, Jesse uncurled, stretching like a sleepy cat.

Elias forced himself to move slowly instead of falling on her like a starving wolf. Methodically, he stashed his gun and badge in the bolted-down safe he’d installed in her coat closet once they got serious. Shutting the door, he turned and raked his eyes over her as she stood. She wore jeans and a soft sweater instead of a slinky gown or low-cut blouse, but it was all he could do not to bury his hands in that cotton and rip his way into her lush body.

She stalked toward Elias, her eyes glittering, her body simmering that siren call of need. Need for him. Eyes only for him. Despite the handsome younger man hovering warily at her back.

Trying not to be an asshole, at least this time, he said, “Get your butt downstairs, Jesse.”

The kid shot toward the door like zombies had started crawling out of the TV.

Posted on by — 4 Comments

Vicki and Jesse’s Agreement

I wouldn’t want to start you off this Monday without a nice steamy visit with Vicki. 😉 

The actual “deed” implied in this snippet took me days to finish.  Finally wrapped it up tonight.  *whew, I’m exhausted!!* 

Next scene to write:  Vicki stops by VCONN for a little talk with Victor!

Warning: sexual innuendo but no actual congress.  *winks*

[Vicki:] “We are so not going there. We can’t. I want to give you time—”

“I’ve had time on the streets. I’ve done time in prison. I don’t need time to know that I love you.”

“I need time. I can’t say that I want to protect you, and then take advantage of you.” In desperation, she added, “Elias is spending the night, and this time, he won’t be on the couch.”

Jesse’s eyes only darkened more and he edged closer. “Can I watch?”

“No!” She shuddered at the thought. Elias would probably bust a vein in his forehead if she’d even thought to ask him. “Absolutely not.”

Groaning, he dropped his head to her shoulder. “Please, Vicki, I’m dying. Give me something. Anything. Can I at least come when you do?”

She opened her mouth to retort that he could come whenever the hell he wanted, but she couldn’t say it. She stood there, mouth open, eyes wide, dumbstruck by the surge of pure power and primal lust that crashed through her. She liked the idea of controlling his release. Making him wait. Giving him a word, a simple caress, and watching his mouth fall open, his eyes blaze, while he pumped at her command.

“Oh,” he breathed out in a soft whisper, raising his head to search her face, his eyes as wide as hers. “You like that idea. While he’s inside you, think of me downstairs, tangled in the sheets, sweating and rock-hard while I listen, begging to hear your cry of release. No matter how much I hurt, I won’t touch myself. All it’ll take is your voice, your scream, and I’ll explode. Yes? Please?”

She swallowed hard and tried to slow down her breathing before she hyperventilated. “On one condition.”

“Anything.”

“You back down on the flirting until I get my head wrapped around this. Okay?”

“Wrapped around you and me?”

“And me and Elias.”

“Yes’m.” Jesse smiled and tipped his head in a nod. “Is he a good lover?”

She remembered Elias’s threat-promise: We’re going to be loud, babe. “Oh, yeah. It might get rather…rowdy.”

“Good.” Jesse smiled, his eyes sultry and lazy. “I can’t wait for him to arrive.”

Posted on by — 4 Comments

Friday Snippet: Vicki & Elias

This snippet comes from Chapter Four, where Vicki has a heart-to-heart with Elias.  She’s scared, confused, and they’re just trying to figure out what’s going to happen to their relationship now that Jesse is intruding. 

Background:  the first night, she made Elias sleep on the couch and Jesse slept downstairs.

Her phone rang, making her jump. Elias. Sick at heart, she hit the button. “Please don’t tell me that you can’t make it tonight.”

“What’s wrong, Vik? Is your houseguest starting to scare you?”

He laughed, telling her he wasn’t really serious. “You were right, Elias,” she whispered, fighting back the tears. “You were right, and I’m in trouble.”

“Trouble like you need me to come over and bust his mouth open again?” His voice sharpened, all cop, ringing with intent. “I can be there in twenty minutes. If you’re in danger, then I’ll send the closest squad car to pick him up.”

“No, no, I’m not in danger. He is. I’m scaring myself.”

“Hold on a minute, Vik. Let me find a private room.”

She heard the chatter of the office and finally the door shut, sealing off all noises.

“Okay, spill. What has you so freaked out?”

“He does love me. He told me. Even the birthday card—that he made months ago—says that he loves me.”

“Yeah,” Elias said slowly, drawing the word out. “How’d you react to that earth-shattering news?”

She squeezed her eyes shut and held the phone away from her ear in case he started yelling at her. “I kissed him.”

It took her a minute to realize the muffled sounds coming from his phone weren’t curses, but might actually be laughter. “You are not laughing at me, are you? I kissed him. No, I slammed him up against the wall like you did last night, only instead of splitting his lip open, I damned near bit it off.”

Elias laughed harder. “Did he thank you for it?”

“Yeah, yeah he did. In fact, he begged me to do it again. Why aren’t you pissed?”

“Oh, Vik, I don’t know. It’s not like I have any right to be pissed at you for kissing another man when I haven’t been around in months. Besides, you’re too upset for me to be mad, and he’s not a bad kid. No, he’s a real good-looking kid, a nice tender morsel.” He laughed harder, like one of his buddies had just told him the most hilarious joke he’d ever heard. “Making love to you has always been like wrestling a hungry crocodile. Did you shock the hell out of him?”

Stricken, she blinked back tears. Her chest felt too tight to breathe. “I’m that bad?”

“Aw hell, no, Vicki,” he said, his voice as tender as she’d ever heard him. “You’re the hottest, sexiest, most passionate woman I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. But you’re not a soft, passive woman in bed, far from it. Half the fun is wrestling you for dominance, and the other half is making sure you enjoy the consolation prize as much as I am. Any smarter man would never have left you simmering all these months. It’s as much my fault as yours that you’re so attracted to Jesse.”

“So you’ll come over tonight? Please?”

He let out a wicked, low laugh that made her blood smolder. “Oh, I don’t know, Vik. Your couch isn’t that comfortable. Besides, you’ve got that hot cabana boy to tend to you now. Why do you need me?”

“I won’t make you sleep on the couch tonight. I swear.”

“We’re going to be loud, babe,” he purred, drawing a rough groan from her. “I’m going to make you scream. We’re going to hit every surface of your bedroom, hell, your whole apartment, and your boy’s going to hear every whimper, thud, curse, and shout of release. Are you sure you’re up for that?”

Her nipples were so hard the lace of her bra felt like sandpaper. “Can you come home now?”

Now it was his turn to groan. “I wish I could, but I’ve got a meeting with the Lieutenant in five minutes. I expect we’ll go out on a tip this afternoon, so don’t hold dinner for me.”

“Elias, please, you have to come tonight.”

“I will,” he promised. “It might be late, but as soon as we’re done with the bust, I’ll drive straight to you.” He hesitated, an edge coming to his voice. “You know he’s probably loaded with STDs or worse. God only knows what he’s been exposed to in prison, let alone the streets.”

“I know,” she whispered, lying back on her bed. “I’m taking him to the clinic tomorrow. I already made an appointment.”

“You’re serious, then. Jesus, Vik.”

“I know,” she repeated, closing her eyes and rubbing her temple with her free hand. “What does this mean for us?”

“Hell if I know. I’d say I should simply take the hint and get the hell out of Dodge, but you’re begging me to come over tonight.”

“I’ve missed you,” her voice broke but she refused to bitch and moan about the past. Elias had chosen to bail on her. He’d played both judge and jury and blamed her for everything that had gone wrong, but she couldn’t stop loving him. Even when he’s an uncompromising ass. “I don’t want to lose you all over again.”

“But you want him too.”

Her relationship with Elias had always had a lot of failings, but one thing she’d never done was lie to him. “Yeah, I do.”