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My Old Enemy

I’ve been battling the beast again.

It’s an old enemy that has haunted me most of my adult life.  I can conquer it for awhile but it’s more than happy to sit back and wait, allowing me to think I’ve got the upper hand.  But as soon as I falter just a little, it’s back.

Weighing me down.

I’ve struggled to get back on track with Weight Watchers and Power 90 since before Thanksgiving.  I just can’t seem to get it all together.  I have a great breakfast most days.  Most of the time I can even put together a good lunch — unless it’s the weekend.  But then other days I stand in front of the fridge and think to myself, “What did I used to eat?  I can’t remember.  I don’t know what to eat.”

Most of it’s a mental game.  It’s keeping my head in the right place when we eat out.  The more I try to limit how much we eat out, the more resistance I get.  I can put food in the crockpot before we leave for church…and we’ll still eat out.  Either no one wants what I’ve made, or it won’t be done in time (this is true sometimes — especially on a Sunday lunch), or…  There’s always an excuse.

I have to pick my battles.  Some battles are easier than others and sometimes I just get tired of battling all the time.

Weeknights are easiest.  As long as I have dinner done before That Man gets home at 5:30, we’re eating at home.  There are the nights when I’m stuck at the Evil Day Job for an urgent production issue, or I spent a solid hour with Middle Monster doing homework, and the evening just gets away from me.  But most of the time, weeknight dinners are in my control.

That doesn’t mean the after dinner snack monster won’t bite me though.

Mental fatigue.  That’s all it is.  Most of the time I can easily resist the snacking.  Even if everyone else is craving Taco Bell, I can stick to my guns and eat a sandwich on my homemade freshly ground wheat bread.  But more often than not lately, I’m too mentally tired to stand strong.

So I’m up 14 pounds.  That’s what happens when I lose the mental battle and surrender too often to bad habits.

Enough is enough.  I have to find a way to sharpen my mental game.  I have to keep doing the things that set me up the best for success.  That means I *must* exercise.  I’m more likely to track my foods if I exercise.  I’m more likely to eat healthy the rest of the day, and if I don’t, it won’t hurt me as badly if I’ve already burned some calories.  I’ll feel better all around.  It’ll help me deal with the Evil Day Job stress better.

(You know stress is doing a number on your body when you lie in bed at night and your back muscles are sore to the touch and you’ve done nothing but sit and work all day.)

It just so happens that Littlest Monster wants to sign up for two 5Ks in the next few months.  I’ve never done one before and I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I cannot *run* 5K.  But with a little practice, I can walk it.

So.  I restarted Power 90 today, and I’m going to attempt my first 5K in March.  With some hard work, those 14 pounds will come off and I’ll get headed in the right direction again.  And my old enemy will be beaten back for another time.

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Pushing to the End

No, I’m still not done with Lord Regret’s Price, though I’ve crossed the 45K mark.  Considering how much story I have left, I’m guessing I’ll be closer to 60K than 50K when it’s all said and done.

I’m off from the Evil Day Job today, but I also have a hair appointment that’ll take about 2 hours, and the monsters get out of school early on Fridays.  I’m hoping to write and write and write until I can’t write no more.  No goofing off watching movies on Netflix or playing Big Fish Games!  I’m in my office, just like it’s a normal work day.  (Plus the puppy is easier to keep track of when she’s contained in a single room than having free rein to roam all over the house.)  I’ll have to run up and down the stairs for coffee, but a little exercise in between stints will do me good.

I don’t think I’ll be able to finish today, but I’m hoping for a really huge word count.  We’ll see how it goes!

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Creeping Ever Closer

I was hoping to finish Lord Regret’s Price by the end of January, but I’m not going to make it.  I am still moving along day by day, though.  I’ve been hitting Dark and Early 4 days a week and getting 1K almost every day.  Getting those first 700+ words first thing in the morning has made it so much easier to come back later in the evening and get another couple of hundred words.

This morning for the first time in MONTHS the words actually came easily.  *knocks on wood*  No pulling teeth, no sweating bullets, no working and then checking to see how much I have only to see I’ve managed 100 words.  Not the 2K+ days I used to have, but it’s such a relief not to have to fight and wrestle to get a sentence!

Plus I figured out some neat little things about Gil’s past that I never had before.

The end is in sight.  I’m on the verge of Act 3.  I just have to keep going, keep working, and fight through the valley.  I’m taking next Friday off to get my hair done, and the rest of the day will be a huge push to finish the book, if I haven’t already done it.  I need a few days off before coming back to work on revisions, and I want to submit by the end of the month.

Go, Sig, go!

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WoT Reread

Today I’m over at Here Be Magic talking about my all-time favorite series:  Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time.

And yes, I have started to reread the massive series.  I will need to repurchase the first three books — the paperbacks fell apart a long time ago.  I thought about buying them in Kindle, but I like to have the entire series in the same format.  Book 4 and beyond are all in hardcover, so I guess I’ll stick to dead-tree books for this series.

This isn’t the first reread I’ve done.  It used to be my tradition to help the years pass until the next release by rereading all the books in the series so far.  I did that through book 7.  After that, I just couldn’t do it any longer.  I was working full time, then we had kids, then I started writing myself.  I started to fall behind.  I’m pretty sure the last book I actually read was 10.  Yikes!  And these are massive tomes too – I’ll get a workout just holding the darned book!

I always said as soon as the last book was released that I’d read the series start to finish one last time.  So let the reread begin!

I’ve finished the first two chapters of The Eye of the World.  This time I’m trying to savor the book instead of rushing to finish so I can see what happens next.  (I read book 6 straight through in about 24 hours–in between classes–because it was sooo good and I was terrified it’d end on a cliffhanger and I’d have to wait 3 years for the next book!)

Reading book 1 is like coming home to an old friend.  Rand has just met Moiraine and Lan.  We’ve met Mat and heard about Egwene, Nynaeve and Thom (although he hasn’t been named).  It’s funny to know these characters so well, to be eager for them to show up.  It’s awe-inspiring to know that Jordan laid down so many crucial threads in this first book.  Amazing, really.  Thousands and thousands of pages, and here the delicate first threads are woven and the Pattern begins.

The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend.

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Faking It…Dark and Early

I still feel like I’m faking it but I am hitting Dark & Early for the first time in months.  Alarm goes off at 5 AM and I write until I have to get the kids up at 6.  It takes me a few minutes to brush my teeth, make coffee, and get downstairs, but most mornings I can get 700-800 words before I have to get everyone up.

Getting that chunk out of the way first thing in the morning makes it easier to break 1K by working a little at a time at night.  I’m still feeling my way through Sig’s backstory and the core of his issues.  What is his price?  What’s he afraid of?  Who’s his House and what does that mean politically?  So many things.  It’s uncomfortable to write but I keep pushing every single day.

His theme song for this book is Even Deeper by Nine Inch Nails.  Help me hold on.

I’m guessing this book is going to break the 50K mark.  We’ll see.  I have a lot of plot to cover yet!

Lady Blackmyre’s edits are done and I have the official blurb.  I’ll make updates shortly (ETA:  Done!) to the series page and share the cover as soon as I can.  She’s going to look extremely good beside Lady Wyre!

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I Can’t Look You in the Voice

I saw this on Twitter:  A telegram Dorothy Parker sent to her editor.

THIS IS INSTEAD OF TELEPHONING BECAUSE I CANT LOOK YOU IN THE VOICE. I SIMPLY CANNOT GET THAT THING DONE YET NEVER HAVE DONE SUCH HARD NIGHT AND DAY WORK NEVER HAVE SO WANTED ANYTHING TO BE GOOD AND ALL I HAVE IS A PILE OF PAPER COVERED WITH WRONG WORDS. CAN ONLY KEEP AT IT AND HOPE TO HEAVEN TO GET IT DONE. DONT KNOW WHY IT IS SO TERRIBLY DIFFICULT OR I SO TERRIBLY INCOMPETANT=

Oh yes, I understand exactly.  It’s how I’ve felt with Sig as I battled through Lord Regret’s Price.  I’ve done such hard work and have so little to show for it.  Every day is a struggle.  If I break 1K for the day, I celebrate.  It’s a huge day, because other days I might only get 100 words and feel like I’ve run a marathon.

I’ve felt like a failure.  Definitely incompetent.  I can only keep at it and hope to heaven I can get it done.

I can’t look you in the voice until I’m done.  But I am closer every single day.

In other news, I’m working on first round edits for Her Grace’s Stable and I’ve seen a mock-up of the cover.  HOLY SMOLIES it’s incredible!!  I can’t wait to show it to you!!

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Puppy Update

KoKoKoNa is growing like a weed.  Want proof?

The one on the left is from the very first day we had her, comparing to KC (24 lb Boston Terrier mix).  She weighed 9 lbs.  The one on the right is today!

KoKoKoKo2

When she got her second puppy shot last week, the vet said she was 16.9 lbs. What I notice the most is how much taller she is. Her paws are much bigger and her front legs are more stocky. And look at all those freckles coming through her white fur!

KoKo3

 

 

This one I included for fun, captioned “Demon Dogs.” I was trying to get a picture of them last night and wow, look at those wicked eyes!

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Unusual Homemade Granola

I used to buy Kashi’s almond/flax granola by the case at Sam’s Club, but no more.  I’m making my own using this delicious recipe.  It’s so versatile!  Even better, the KIDS love it.  They won’t touch Kashi or “normal” healthy granola, but they eat this faster than I can make it.  The base recipe is inspired by Hungry Hungry Hippie’s Quinoa Granola recipe, tweaked to my family’s taste.

I’ve been doubling the recipe without the nuts, spreading out one pan, then adding nuts for the other pan (the kids don’t like most nuts).  I also skip all dried fruit (again, for the kids), but it’s delicious with dried dates and cranberries.

For a single pan of granola:

Mix about 4-5 cups of “seeds and grains” including your favorite mix of:

  • oats
  • quinoa
  • hemp hearts
  • buckwheat groats (I had to order these from Amazon – I couldn’t find locally – but totally worth it.  They add a really unique texture and are very chewy!)
  • unprocessed bran flakes
  • chia seeds
  • unsweetened coconut, shredded

We personally like about 2 cups of oats and the rest a mix of seeds and grains, with about 1/2 c coconut and 2-3T chia.  They kids LOVE quinoa in this.  It really surprised me (I thought it’d break our teeth, but it’s delicious and chewy/texture without being too hard).  Mix up the above in a big bowl and adjust the texture and balance of grains to your taste.

Melt 1/2 c. of coconut oil and pour over the grains.  Add 1/2 c. pure maple syrup.  Stir up, spread in a pan lined with parchment paper, and toast in the oven at 250 degrees for about an hour.  Stir half way through to get the toastiness even (especially if your pan is threatening to overflow!)  I like mine pretty brown and toasty so I’ll cook it a bit longer.

If you don’t have picky kids, you can add another 1-2 c. of nuts (I love almonds, pecans, and sunflower seeds) and/or dried fruit without having to change the oil and syrup much at all.  If it’s a little sticky/clumpy, then it’s good.  You can play with the measurements and cut a little of the oil and sugar out if needed, but I usually just add more nuts.  :mrgreen:

After it cools, I store in a quart mason jar.  We usually nibble on the pan so much that I’m lucky if I end up with one jar for the next day!

Sprinkle some of this still warm on plain Fage yogurt and I’m in heaven.