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Dear Sir, I’m Yours Review

The first review is in!  Soleil says:

Seriously, if there is a cover art fairy, she’s hoarding it. Or maybe just blessed by it. Hell, if I were a cover art fairy I’d hang around Joely too, she writes some of the most emotionally gut-wrenching stories I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading.

Dear Sir, I’m Yours is a red hot contemporary romance with depth and some wickedly awesome characters. Passionate does not even begin to describe it. You might want to have a fan near by for this one, or schedule in a cold shower afterwards.

You can read the whole review here

*hoards cover art fairy*

Thanks to Scott for an incredible cover, and thank you to Soleil for a terrific review!

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Dear Sir, I’m Yours: Behind the Story

When I write, every story ends up with a theme song, sometimes several.  They help me set the story in my mind, and they definitely make it easier for me to switch mental gears from one story to another, especially when one is “red hot contemporary romance” and the other is “dark fantasy.”  Some characters even end up with their own theme songs, or a particular song will help me write through the dark moment or climax of a story.

For Dear Sir, I’m Yours I had several theme songs on my playlist.

The first and main song is Austin by Blake Shelton.  If you’re not familiar with the song, it’s about a woman who left about a year ago (without leaving her number), but decides to call her old boyfriend.  She listens to this incredibly long voice message, and at the very end, he says “P.S. if this is Austin, I still love you.”  She gives it a few days and calls him again, just to see if it was an old message he forgot about — because surely he couldn’t still love her, couldn’t still be waiting for her after all this time.  She’d left him, with no number, certainly no promises that she’d ever come back.  Sure enough, this is a new message, and at the very end, he says the same thing.  I still love you.

That really really got to me.  If Rae had ever picked up the phone and called Conn, whether a month or a year or several years later, he would have jumped in that Mustang and driven cross country to reach her.  He still loved her that much.  In Rae’s case, she’s been writing him constantly, all these years, even while married to another man.  She loves him, but she can’t pick up the phone.  Surely she couldn’t have loved him that much, just after one semester of poetry.  Surely she hadn’t needed him that much.  It had to be all in her head.  But why can’t she stop writing him?  Why does she still remember his office phone number; why does she still dream about calling him?  (Hint: read the book to find out ha!)

Hello Darlin’ by Conway Twitty started on my playlist but then I quit needing to listen to it once Conn found his voice.

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy by Big & Rich always gets my blood pumping to write a Connagher.  (Dies, I almost typed “ride” a Connagher.  Talk about a Freudian slip.)

Hell Yeah by Montgomery Gentry, another fun blood pumping country song.  Yeah, I’m showing my country “hick” roots, aren’t I?  Actually, this is the only book I’ve written to country music.  It just fits the down-home atmosphere of Beulah Land and Conn’s Texan upbringing.

Finally, this might seem like an odd song choice, but Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood ended up on my playlist late in the game.  I couldn’t figure out why.  Conn certainly would never cheat on Rae or vice versa now that they were trying to “make things right”, but my gut insisted this song needed to be there.  By the end (next to last chapter, I believe) you’ll see why my Muse insisted this song had to be on this playlist.  Laughs.  I was totally surprised by that one.

Now you’ve probably got song lyrics stuck in your head!  Next up, I’ll talk about colors in Dear Sir.

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Dear Sir, I’m Yours: Behind the Story

If you’ve read the excerpt or the free read prequel, then you know that “letters” play a huge part in Dear Sir, I’m Yours.  Where did that idea come from, you ask?

Part of my character development process usually involves writing some kind of “first person” letter or snippet in the character’s voice that takes place before the story.  It helps me figure out how this character talks and thinks, as well as explore some of the defining moments that shaped the character right before the story.  Very early in trying to figure out who Rae was and what she needed to accomplish in the story, I stumbled across a comment on fellow Drollerie Press author, Cindy Lynn Speer’s blog.  (Sorry, I can’t find it now–it was probably in 2008)  It was about writing letters, and pouring out hopes and dreams into words, very melancholy and “lost love.”  It made me sad, but touched me, too.

So when I started writing Rae’s character letters, I made a tiny change to my process.  She specifically wrote her letter to Dr. Connagher, the hero of the story.  I never intended to put those letters into the story itself — they were just to help me deepen who she was and what she feared.

However, the letters soon took on a life of their own.  They were so raw, heartfelt, open and honest, very rarely politically correct or “safe.”  I had to decide why Rae would write those letters to him in the first place and why she’d never mail them, even after she left.  Soon those letters were defining HIS character, too, changing my perception of him as a professor and as a man.  Every defining moment in her life, from that dark, erotic day in his office, to leaving campus, to her dating and eventually marrying someone else, only to suffer through an unhappy marriage and divorce…the letters eventually led her back to Conn.

Once I realized how important they were, I had to make the letters play a definite part in the story.  I mean, why include the letters, even as “glimpses” into her past, if they weren’t absolutely crucial to the story and how Conn and Rae would “make things right?”  So the letters went on to affect the plot itself.  In the dark moment, the only thing Conn has left:  her letters that she wrote him.

Five years of letters.  Five years of heartache, anger, grief, need, and yes, love.

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Dear Sir, I’m Yours Releases

Today’s the big day!  Dear Sir, I’m Yours is available at Samhain Publishing here!

So here’s a little “Story Behind the Story” post.

It all started with a photograph of Clive Owen.  My friend and accountability partner, Jenna, sent me a picture.  She was using it as inspiration for a short story she was working on, and she thought I might like it too.  Her story was for a spanking-themed anthology and she said something like, “My heroine hasn’t ever been into spanking, but she looks at him and says, if he asked, why not.”

I took one look at him and recognized him.  Clive Owen didn’t look back at me.  It was Conn.

I’d started a draft back in 2004 with an English professor named Dr. Connagher, but I’d never finished it and had no plans to do so, until I saw that picture.  My entire perception of Conn changed forever.  Because my friend had dropped that little comment about spanking, it was attached to him and his picture, and I couldn’t shake it.  What kind of professor would he be, then?  What kind of heroine did he need?

The rest is history.

So when I personally think of Conn, this is who I see. 

Dr. Connagher

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Letters Snippet – The Final Final Exam

 This is the final snippet of the Dear Sir, I’m Yours prequel (set five years prior) that I’ll post here on the blog.  

 

The Final Final Exam

Rae stood in Dr. Connagher’s office, her right arm still hot from where his hand had been.  That hint of force had made her tremble again.  Her knees felt watery and her heart pounded so hard that she barely heard him shut the door behind them.

However, the snick of the lock sliding into place nearly made her jump to the ceiling and hang there like a yowling cat straight out of cartoons.

Breathlessly, she waited for him to make his move.  If he picked her up and tossed her on top of his desk, it’d be worth a spanking.

But he didn’t touch her.  Instead, he set his satchel on top of that glossy cherry desk she’d fantasized about all these months and added another stack of blue books into the bag.  “Damn.  I’m going to be grading for days.  How does a week sound to you?”

Her voice cracked.  “A week?”

“Let me finish grading for the semester, and by next Friday, it ought to be safe for us to date more formally.”  He sat in his chair and casually leaned back, his hands behind his head, but he didn’t fool her.  His eyes blazed and his arms were corded tight as though he were holding himself back instead of her for a change.  “If you still care to see me, that is.”

The blinds behind his desk were drawn, letting only slender slants of light cut across his face, leaving canyons and hollows she longed to explore.  Now, at last, she wasn’t his student.  He wasn’t her professor.  They were going to date.  However, despite his earlier threat, he seemed in no hurry to even touch her. 

A week my ass, she snarled.  Two can play his little games.

Lifting her chin, she glided over to the desk and trailed her fingers across its glossy surface as she slowly invaded his space.  On his side of the desk, she hopped up on top and sat before him, hissing a little at the cool surface beneath her nearly bare bottom.  “You know I do.”

Gravely, he merely watched her, his face lined and dark, his mouth a firm slash. 

She couldn’t tell if he was displeased or thrilled at her bravado.  “I’ve had a lot of fantasies about this desk.”

“Like what, darlin’?”

“Oh, nothing.”  She ducked her head a little so she could peep up at him through her lashes.  Deliberately, she licked her lips.  His forehead creased even more and his eyes locked on her mouth.  “Nothing I can admit to you.”

The chair creaked as he leaned forward.  He planted his palms on either side of her hips and fogged up the wood with the heat of his palms, but he still didn’t touch her.  “You will if I tell you to.”

Her heart was beating double time now, that familiar anticipation and the beginning of dread curling through her.  Yes, yes, this was Conn, not Dr. Connagher.  The mask was slipping enough that he scared her, but she loved it.  I love him.

If she pushed him hard enough, maybe he’d yank that mask clean away and take her right now on top of this big desk like she’d dreamed.  “Will I?”

Heavy lidded and dark, his eyes narrowed.  “I’m not in the mood for games, Rae.”

“That’s good,” she whispered, snuggling close enough to brush her mouth against his.  “What sort of mood are you in, then?” 

He made a low ragged sound and snagged her bottom lip in his teeth, gripping hard enough she cried out.  The sharp sting sent a wicked curl of heat through her.  Shuddering, she opened her mouth more, silently begging for his tongue, but he released her immediately.  Undeterred, she slid her palm into the neck of his shirt, relishing the velvet heat of his neck, the crisp hair barely peeking out of the top of his shirt.  She even managed to get one button undone before he shackled her wrists and pulled her hands away. 

“Rae, darlin’, I can’t take your hands on me right now.  It’s been one damned long semester, all this flirting and promising and teasing.  I thought it’d be fun to give you a hot little spanking, but I’m too raw and ragged to pull it off without scaring the hell out of you.  If I touch you right now, we’ll have the dean breaking that door down and hauling me off to prison because I’ll kill anyone who tries to keep me from you.”

“Aw, poor Dr. Connagher.  Have I been a very bad student?”

“Very,” he retorted, squeezing her wrists harder.  “Don’t push my buttons, Rae.  Not today.  You won’t like what you unleash.  Give me a week–”

“No.” 

His eyes flared wide and his mouth fell open with shock.

She couldn’t help it–she laughed out loud.  In fact, she felt downright giddy.  After all these months, she’d finally managed to knock him off balance.  As his student, she hadn’t dared antagonize him.  Now…that will be half the fun.  “Do you really think I slaved all semester in your class only to let you put me off again?”

Lazily, he dragged her wrists behind her, pinning them in the small of her back just as she’d imagined.  She couldn’t help but fight and twist, testing him, ensuring he really could hold her. 

I’m trapped, she realized, and at the same time, she felt a surge of wet heat between her legs.  And more turned on than ever.

“Do you really think you can get away with telling me no, Rae?”

“No,” she purred, wriggling to the very edge of his desk to hug her thighs around him.  “Make me yours, Conn.”

“You don’t have any idea what you’re asking.”

“I don’t care.  I’ll do anything you want, just don’t make me wait another week.”

A growl trickled out of his lips.  Before she could even yelp, he jerked and flipped her around so that she was on her stomach in front of him on top of his desk.  He leaned in, pressing his chest against her buttocks to make sure she stayed put.  Her arms ached, her wrists still clamped in his hand behind her.  “Anything I want, Rae?  Are you sure about that?”

Gasping, she tried to catch her breath, but the edge of the desk dug into her abdomen.  When she didn’t answer quickly enough, he pushed her wrists up incrementally, making her shoulders scream with pressure.  “No!”

“No, you’re not sure?”  He released her wrists but kept his chest pressed against her, bracing his arms on either side of her on top of the desk, making his body a cage.  “Or no to anything I want?  Or maybe now you’ll ask me nicely to let you go home to change this skirt.”

“No.”  She brought her hands up beneath her, ready to scramble out from beneath him even if that meant crawling across his desk.  “I won’t go home, Dr. Connagher.  Not to change.  Not for a week.  Sir.”

Wanna find out how Rae does on this final exam?  Download the rest of the story here (pdf) including one final letter and an “extra credit” poem.  If you enjoyed this free read, I hope you’ll check out Dear Sir, I’m Yours when it releases on June 16th to find out how Conn and Rae can possibly set about “Making it Right.”

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Letters Snippet

 This is another snippet of a Dear Sir, I’m Yours prequel (set five years prior). I’ll be writing out several scenes over the next few weeks, alternating with more letters, and when the whole thing is done, I’ll package it all together as a pdf on the Free Reads page. For now, I’m calling this prequel “Letters” since I haven’t come up with another title. I’ll accumulate the links here in reverse chronological order if you need to catch up!

Letter Four
Snippet Four – Promises, Promises
Letter Three
Snippet Three – Office Interrogation
Snippet Two – The First Day of Class
Letter Two
Snippet One – Love at First Voice
Letter One

Snippet Five – The Final Exam 

Miss Rae Jackson sauntered into Conn’s classroom one last time, wearing that slip of a skirt that bared every inch of her incredible legs to what had to be just below her ass.  The top she’d paired with it wasn’t much better:  a heart-stopping red fitted tank that hugged her body and lifted her breasts like an offering for him.  Everything fit well–it wasn’t too tight, slutty, or slinky–and it was certainly blazing hot outside.  It might be only June, but summer had come early with ninety-degree heat and miserable humidity.

A quick glance confirmed that the other students wore similar clothes.  Hell, one student even wore a bikini top which made Rae look overdressed.  The other student’s tanned skin already gleamed with oil, making it very clear that as soon as she turned in his final, she was headed to the lake.  However, none of them sent a fist of lust tearing through his stomach like Rae.

She took her seat, crossed her legs demurely at the ankle, and flickered a quick look up at him to judge his reaction.  She’d worn her hair loose too, another temptation with all that bare skin.  And that damned skirt.  She knew very well what it did to him.  What he’d promised. 

While his students wrote their final letters into their composition books and turned them in to him at the front of the room, he forced himself to read their papers instead of tormenting himself about what she might have on beneath that skirt.  He would not think about it.

Damn it, I have more control than this!

An hour crept by until she was the last student remaining.  He watched her flip back through what she’d written, absently gnawing on her lip.  I’m going to have that lip in my teeth before she leaves this room.

When Dean Strobel stuck her head in, he very nearly cursed out loud.  Rae scribbled a few more lines and then quickly brought him her final.  The dean didn’t even let him get a finger on it–she took it directly from Rae’s hand. 

“And her paper,” Dean Strobel demanded.  She eyed the impressive stack of pages in Rae’s essay and gave her a considering look.  “I’ll have my decision by the end of the day, Dr. Connagher, and then you can read and grade everything to see if we agree.  I must admit, young lady, that you surprised me, and him, I dare say.  I saw you at the lecture a few months ago, so quote me something from Burns, and it’d better be something other than ‘A Red, Red Rose.’

Rae paled, shooting him an imploring look of panic.  Neither of them had expected the dean to interrogate her in person.  He tried to think of a way to help her, even opened his mouth to start a quote for her, but Dean Strobel silenced him with a fierce look.

Staring at his mouth, though, Rae must have suddenly remembered a Burns poem, although Conn couldn’t say that he cared for her choice.  At all.

“’Ae fond kiss, and then we sever!/ Ae farewell, alas for ever!/  Deep in heart-wrung tears I’ll pledge thee/’.  She hesitated, a hint of color darkening her cheeks, but she finished the phrase, granted in a slightly ragged voice.  ’Warring sighs and groans I’ll wage thee!’

Conn let his pride glow in his eyes, and hopefully a hint of the warring sighs and groans he was going to give her as soon as they were able to slip away.

The dean smiled widely, slapped Conn on the arm with the bundled pages, and headed toward the door.  “I can’t wait to read her final essay.  Excellent work, you two.”

He waited until the dean was surely well on her way to her office, and then he leaned in close to Rae.  Her eyes locked on his mouth, her teeth flashing against her lip again, and it was all he could do not to haul her beneath him here and now. 

His control felt ragged and frayed, like a rope which she’d been sawing away at day by day.  They weren’t safe yet, far from it.  He certainly couldn’t kiss her here where anyone could walk by.  Until final grades were posted for the class, he’d continue to be under the dean’s scrutiny.

Grimly, he turned away and began shoving all the blue books and essays into his satchel.  He had to have a taste of her, soon, before he lost his mind entirely.  “Do you remember what I said I was going to do if you wore that skirt again, Miss Jackson?”

Wide eyed, she nodded, her breathing loud in the empty room.

He cupped her elbow in his hand to get her moving quicker.

“Are you…were you…serious?”

“Hell yeah, darlin’.”  He squeezed her arm, watching her eyes darken, her lips part on a soft little sound that sent his blood pumping.  “That’s one thing you should know about me already,” he growled out against her ear.  “I always keep my promises.  Now I expect you to report to my office immediately for the real final exam.”

 

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Letters Snippet

Alrighty, then, with May’s and Soleil’s mad reading skillz, I was able to spank out (haha) the revised draft of the “final exam.”  Here’s the plan:  I’ll post a letter today, the “real” final exam tomorrow, and then on Friday, the “final” final exam begins in his office.  It ends on a humdinger, but that’s not the whole story.  If you want the rest, I’ll post a complete pdf on the Free Reads page that finishes the final final exam, a final letter from Rae, and her “extra credit” poem. It all sets the stage for the five year break and will hopefully leave you chomping at the bit to see how they can possibly go about “Making it Right” in Dear Sir, I’m Yours.

Snippet Four – Promises, Promises
Letter Three
Snippet Three – Office Interrogation
Snippet Two – The First Day of Class
Letter Two
Snippet One – Love at First Voice
Letter One

Letter Four: the day of the final exam

Dear Dr. Connagher:

 

We made it. 

 

In less than an hour, I’ll be sitting down for your final exam.  I just finished printing out the last page of my essay detailing how I’ll personally use poetry in the future, not just at college but my whole life.  Do you know how many versions I had to go through to get something clean enough for the dean to read?  Because I want long hours in bed with you, listening to you quote poetry in that rough, ragged voice against my ear. 

 

Now all I have to do for the actual final is write a letter to you in the blue book about my favorite poem and make suggestions for next year’s class.  For extra credit (ha), we can submit an original poem of our own.  Even if I’m not quite brave enough for that, you’ve accomplished the impossible, Dr. Connagher.  You took a student who knew absolutely nothing about poetry and made me love the rhythm, images, and feelings so wonderfully disguised in a few simple lines, and no, I’m not saying this because of the future I hope to have with you.  I’ll always remember this class and your passion for poetry.

 

You’re a phenomenal teacher.

 

I love you, Dr. Connagher.  I know that sounds strange since we’ve not had a single “official” date, but it’s true.  You did your worst to me as a professor, and as your student, I survived.  I think I even excelled, at least far beyond my personal expectations.  But as soon as I turn in your final exam, it’s time for you to leave. 

 

I want you to remove that professor mask and show me the real Conn underneath.

 

However, you made me swear to always tell you the truth, no matter how awful or pissed off I thought you’d be.  So here’s the truth, Conn.

 

You bruised me that night in the lecture hall.  I wore your fingerprints in my thigh for days.  Every time I looked at those bruises, I shivered with the memory.  I wanted you there with me so you could do it again, and maybe this time, you’d kiss me.  Maybe you’d pin me flat on top of your desk and have your wicked way with me.

 

When the bruises faded, my first thought was to do something bratty just so you’d have to do it again.  Without those marks, I felt empty and lost, as though I didn’t belong to you anymore.

 

That’s what scares me.  You said you’d give me just a taste of the real you.  Are you going to hurt me so badly I’ll have bruises all the time?  Will I want those bruises, cry when they fade away, and then beg you to give me more? 

 

When you pulled off your Dr. Connagher mask, you also pulled off mine, and I have to admit that I don’t know the Rae underneath.  She’s weak in the knees for you, Conn, vulnerable, scared to death, and so in love with you that she’ll do anything to be with you.  I think she’d let you do anything, Conn.  Anything at all.

 

You gave me fair warning, so I guess I should do the same, although I know you won’t ever read this. 

 

I’m wearing that white mini-skirt to your final. 

 

Dangerous, I know, but when I wear that skirt, I feel powerful.  I see the darkness in your eyes.  I know I’m flirting with danger, and I just can’t help myself.  But I also need to know the truth, Conn.  I need to know how far you’ll go when you’re not Dr. Connagher, and how far I’ll let you go when I’m not Miss Jackson. 

 

Are you going to hurt me again?  Will I let you hurt me again?  How can I protect myself against you when I love you so much?

 

I can’t.  

 

Because what I’m really afraid of is that I might need you to hurt me. 

 

Yours,

 

~ Rae

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Letters Snippet

This is another snippet of a Dear Sir, I’m Yours prequel (set five years prior). I’ll be writing out several scenes over the next few weeks, alternating with more letters, and when the whole thing is done, I’ll package it all together as a pdf on the Free Reads page. For now, I’m calling this prequel “Letters” since I haven’t come up with another title. I’ll accumulate the links here in reverse chronological order if you need to catch up!
 
Letter Three
Snippet Three – Office Interrogation
Snippet Two – The First Day of Class
Letter Two
Snippet One
Letter One

Snippet Four: Promises, Promises.  Since this one is a bit “rougher” in content and rather long (nearly 3K), it’s behind the cut. 

Continue reading Letters Snippet

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Letters Snippet

This is another snippet of a Dear Sir, I’m Yours prequel (set five years prior). I’ll be writing out several scenes over the next few weeks, alternating with more letters, and when the whole thing is done, I’ll package it all together as a pdf on the Free Reads page. For now, I’m calling this prequel “Letters” since I haven’t come up with another title. I’ll accumulate the links here in reverse chronological order if you need to catch up!
 
Snippet Three – Office Interrogation
Snippet Two – The First Day of Class
Letter Two
Snippet One
Letter One

 Letter Three:

Dear Dr. Connagher:

 

For our first written assignment, you asked us to write you a detailed letter about what we’d like to get out of class.  Are you insane?  Didn’t we already have a little talk in your office about what sort of things were safe to discuss as professor and student?

 

Because what I’d really like to get is closer to you. 

 

You’ve condemned me to a semester of hell.  As we agreed, I’ve been coming to your office each week for “tutoring,” all so painfully proper that I want to scream.  You leave your door wide open.  You call me Miss Jackson and I call you Dr. Connagher and we talk about Shelley and Byron, Blake and Keats, but while you drill me on all the extracurricular reading I’m doing (as you asked), I’m sliding my feet deeper beneath your desk, trying to wrap my legs around yours.  Or I’m wondering what you’d do if I got up and very calmly walked over to your door, locked it, and then started taking off my clothes.

 

Really, what would you do?  Would you send me to the dean’s office?  Would you kick me out of class?  Or would you tell me to come sit in your lap?

 

Please, please, tell me the latter.  Or better yet, maybe we could try out that big desk of yours that you so studiously keep between us.  I’d like to be between it and you for a change, if you know what I mean.

 

I can’t stand it, Conn.  There, I said your name.  I broke your rule.  What are you going to do about it?

 

I want you so badly that I lie awake at night and ache.  This need keeps gnawing away, eating me alive.  I need to know the strength of your hands.  I need to hear your rumbling voice against my ear while you squeeze my ass like you threatened.  I’m doing everything I can to get your attention, to push you over the edge, but you just won’t go, will you? 

 

I know you won’t.  I don’t want you to break, not really.  But I’m breaking inside every single day.  Each time that you call me Miss Jackson and ignore my every attempt to get even a finger of your incredible body on mine, it feels like a physical wound that I’ll carry as a scar for the rest of my life.

 

So tomorrow, I’m going to wait until the very end of the day, and then I’m going to stop by your office right before you leave (yes, I know I’m borderline stalking you because I memorized your entire schedule) to inform you that I’m dropping your class.  If I don’t drop out by Friday, then it’ll be too late.  You’ll have to give me a grade.

 

I don’t want a grade, Conn.  I don’t even want an A.

 

All I want is you.

 

Yours in agony,

 

~ Rae

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Letters Snippet

This is another snippet of a Dear Sir, I’m Yours prequel (set five years prior). I’ll be writing out several scenes over the next few weeks, alternating with more letters, and when the whole thing is done, I’ll package it all together as a pdf on the Free Reads page. For now, I’m calling this prequel “Letters” since I haven’t come up with another title. I’ll accumulate the links here in reverse chronological order if you need to catch up!

Snippet Two – The First Day of Class
Letter Two
Snippet One
Letter One

 Snippet Three:  Office Interrogation

In the privacy of his office with Miss Jackson standing penitent before him, Conn found himself in what his Daddy would have called quite a pickle.

If he didn’t allow this unknown student to stay in his class, he’d be forced to scratch it completely from the schedule, and the dean had refused to reconsider her decision.  The class he’d personally created and taught over the years, his hallmark work at Drury University, would be swallowed by blowing sands.  His life’s passion would be forgotten.  Instead of advanced poetry, he’d teach more remedial composition classes, because students couldn’t figure out how to write a paper in complete sentences without LOL and BFF and whatever other ridiculous abbreviations they texted on a daily basis.

But if he were completely honest with himself, the fate of his favorite class was the least of his concerns.  Deep down, he feared that if he allowed this frankly highly-unqualified student to remain, he’d do something unforgiveable.  He’d never been tempted by a student before, but Miss Jackson spelled Temptation with a capital T and damn it all to hell, this was only the first day of class.

It was her eyes that did him in.  Oh, she had a luscious body, no doubt about that, but he’d never been one to ogle the female students.  In fact, his best friend and fellow Drury professor, Mason Wykes, had resorted to calling him Dr. Perfect.  Conn had never even felt a twinge of interest in one of his students.

Until Miss Rae Jackson walked into his class and turned those soul-deep eyes on him.

Shyly yet earnestly, she gazed at him, her eyes big and solemn and dark with emotion, and he felt his rigidly polite professional veneer crack.  Somehow, she’d managed to pick up on his hidden dominant side.  Some secret signal that he’d unconsciously broadcasted had drawn her like a moth to a flame, and she fluttered toward mortal danger, fully aware he would singe her wings clean off if she got too close, but still hopelessly unable to flee.

As soon as he focused on her, she bit her lip, her breath caught, and it was all he could do not to come around the desk, cup her face in his hands, and ask how far she’d let him go. 

The devil on his shoulder whispered that he should test her.  Give her a few simple, innocent little requests to see if she would obey as sweetly and quickly as he suspected.  He clenched his jaws and flipped the mental bird at the evil bastard.  The last thing he needed to get into was an improper relationship with a student. 

Especially one that stared at him so hopefully, innocently, and naturally submissive.  Did she even have a clue that she was sending off a “please gobble me up whole” vibe in waves–a vibe that was irresistible to a man like him?  Son of a bitch.  Mason would laugh his ass off if he ever found out that Dr. Perfect had met his match and then some. 

Conn softened his voice and tried to begin, “Why don’t you sit down–”

She dropped like a stone into the seat so quickly he couldn’t help but wonder what she would’ve done if there hadn’t been a chair available.  Sitting behind his desk made him vaguely uncomfortable, as if he was abusing his position of authority as her professor, so he did something very rare during office consultation:  he stood, came around to the front of his desk, and casually sat on its edge.  It put him closer to her, making the devil cackle with glee, but hopefully took him out of the authority position.

“I’m not going to bite, Miss Jackson.”

Her eyes flared wider and her gaze dropped to his mouth.  Definitely not an improvement. 

Quickly, before he could dwell on any inappropriate vision of which delicious bite he’d like to sample first, he rushed on.  “That is, I’m not an ogre, despite whatever you may have heard.  I’m truly concerned about your wellbeing” and my sanity “in my class.”

A hint of a smile flickered on her lips.  “They didn’t call you an ogre, Dr. Connagher.”

“Troll?  Demon?  The wicked professor of Pearsons Hall?”

“You are rather famous,” she admitted, smiling wider and beginning to relax.  “Everyone I talked to sincerely enjoys your classes despite your…quirks.”

“And what do they say about my Romantic Period class?”

“It’s the hardest class in the entire English department,” she replied sheepishly.  “Casual English majors won’t take it because they don’t want to risk lowering their overall GPA.”

“And since it’s such a difficult class, non-English majors are too intimidated to sign up.  That’s exactly the argument Dean Strobel presented to me when I protested her decision to cancel this class.”  Sighing, he kept his face and voice equally soft.  “So why were you brave enough to sign up, Miss Jackson, Accounting major with barely enough English requirements for your business degree?”

She ducked her head.  “It was your only open class that I haven’t already taken.”

“It’s very important that you be truthful with me.”  He risked reaching out, slipped his fingers beneath her chin, and gently tilted her face back up to his.  Risk indeed, because he found that once he had her in his grasp, he didn’t want to let her go.  “Why were you looking for my classes in particular?  Do you know me from somewhere that I regretfully don’t remember?”

Uncomfortable, she hesitated, clenching and opening her hands in her lap, torn between fleeing and blurting out the truth.  He waited in silence, his gaze steady.  I’ll have her answers, however long it takes.

“No, sir,” she finally whispered, earning a smile and an encouraging nod to continue with her explanation.

He felt her swallow beneath his fingers and she moistened her lips.  The faint glimpse of her tongue made him suck in a breath.  What the hell was he doing?  These little games might seem innocent, but once he accepted this challenge, he’d find it difficult, if not downright impossible, to back off.

And I need to back off.  She’s my student!

“I heard you, Friday, outside the dean’s office.  You quoted poetry, and your voice…  I wanted to hear more.  Poetry, that is.”

She winced at the rather lame excuse, betraying herself.  She’d definitely wanted to hear more, and it wasn’t because she had a sudden interest in Shelley.  She’d responded to the hard edge of anger in Conn’s voice, the desperate need to keep what was his, and she’d been drawn to seek him out in any way she could.  Naked attraction shimmered in her eyes, darkened by her response to his voice, his presence, and most of all, his very position of control and authority that he could not violate one iota if he valued his career. 

He forced himself to release her.  Too many thoughts crowded his mind.  The small challenges she’d unconsciously set for him to master were adding up alarmingly.  He already knew that no harsh word would be required to earn the truth from her; his unapproving silence and the strength of his will were enough.  He also knew she found it very difficult to prevaricate even slightly.  If she ever thought to lie to him, all he’d have to do was look deeply into her eyes to see every truth laid bare before him.

Now, the fledgling truth he saw burning in her eyes promised that she would be the greatest test of his life.  Mastering himself with and for her would be like earning his doctorate all over again and a hell of a lot more pleasurable than slogging through another four years of graduate school.

Retreating to his chair, he put the desk between them.  Quickly, he ran through his options.  He hadn’t said anything that could be misconstrued later.  She could walk out now, find an easier class, and perhaps they’d accidentally on purpose run into each other about campus.  It would still be frowned upon for a professor to involve himself with a student, even if she wasn’t in his class, but it wasn’t worthy of reprimand.

However, if she remained as his student, she’d not only enable the last semester of his favorite class, but she’d also challenge him to keep that control he valued so much.  He could test her, and she would test him and not even know it.

If I can survive such a challenge to my self control.

He shifted in his chair, already rather uncomfortable.  The longer he looked at her, watching as she tucked an errant strand of chocolate brown hair behind her ear and bit her lip, waiting for his decision, the more he responded in a way that no teacher ever wanted to feel about his student.  Too young, too pretty, too damned sweet and innocent for a man like him.  Every dominant instinct he possessed urged him to wrap his arms around her and set about finding each and every limit she threw up at him until she was utterly and completely his.

Irritated that his libido was running amok on the very first day of class, he muttered, “’The desire of the moth for the star,/ Of the night for the morrow,/ The devotion to something afar/  From the sphere of our sorrow.’”

“Oh.  Okay.  That’s your answer, then?”

He arched a brow at the quavering despair in her voice.  “Do you know what I just quoted?”

She dropped her gaze to her hands and her shoulders slumped with dejection, but she nodded.  “It’s Shelley’s ‘One Word is Too Often Profaned.’”

At least she didn’t see the shock that must be written all over his face.  How on earth had she recognized Shelley, let alone that particular poem?  She was an Accounting major with absolutely no English poetry background, for God’s sake.  If she knew that much poetry, why were they even discussing her right to remain in his class?  “What line in particular did you think was my answer?”

She jerked her gaze up to his, and the fierce determination blazing in her eyes sent a jolt of unexpected delight through him.  Ah, here, too was the rebellion and spirit that he would relish exploring.  

“’I can give not what men call love.’  Or how about the line which gave its title:  One word is too often profaned/ For me to profane it.  If you’re not interested, Dr. Connagher, all you had to do was say so.  Dropping your class will be a hell of a lot easier than studying nonstop all weekend and reading everything about Percy Bysshe Shelley that I could get my hands on simply because everyone says he’s your favorite poet, all before the stupid semester even started!”

She leaped up out of her chair, whirled, and strode toward the door.  Her braid swung dark and heavy down her back, drawing his gaze to the sweetest ass in tight blue jeans that had ever crossed his desk. 

She wanted a chase.  Good. He gave it.

In a heartbeat, he rounded his desk, planted his palms on either side of her flat against the door, and hovered at her back without touching her.  Inappropriate, yes, but it wasn’t exactly physical contact.  She froze with her hand on the doorknob.

“Rae,” he purred, savoring her name on a low rumble that made her shiver beneath him.  “I never said I wasn’t interested.  I’m cursing my own impossible desire as the moth is drawn to the stars.”

On a low moan, she started to turn to face him.

“No, don’t.  Don’t look at me, not this close, or I’ll likely do something that we’ll both regret.”

“I won’t regret it,” she whispered, her voice ragged.  “I was hoping–”

“You came to me as a student.  My student,” he growled out next to her ear.  “You defined the exam the moment you enrolled in my class.  If you’re my student, then this is as close as we’ll be for the rest of the semester.”

“Then I guess I’ll be dropping your class, Dr. Connagher.”

“Conn,” he whispered, deliberately letting his lips brush her ear.  “Right here, and only right now, I’m Conn.”

“Conn,” she repeated on a low ragged groan.  “Are you sure I can’t turn around?”

“Absolutely sure, and although I know it would be easier for you to drop my class, I hope you don’t.”  He chose his words carefully so she wouldn’t feel as though he were demanding she stay in his class, because he feared very much that she’d comply just because he asked.  “Instead, I hope you come to class and torment me every single day.”

“But…but…don’t you…”

“If you decide to drop my class, leave your number so I can call you as a man and not your professor in a month or two.  But–” he hardened his voice, stilling her immediate eager response, “I think a semester of getting to know each other in a controlled environment would be best for both of us.  You’re testing my control to the breaking point already, darlin’.”

“Sorry.”  She laughed shakily, although he didn’t think she sounded repentant at all.  In fact, she backed that tempting ass so she could rub her back against him like a cat.  “When you say darlin’ in that smooth Texas drawl…”

“Yeah, darlin’?  What does that do to you?”

“It makes me weak in the knees.”

“Good,” he drawled, rewarding the truth with a quick nibble on her ear.  “Now I want you to march that delectable ass out of my office.  I’m going to do some serious thinking about the course syllabus and how we can make this class fun and rewarding for you, for all of us, and who knows, in the end, we may come up with something even the dean will approve so I don’t lose my favorite class.  Wednesday morning, I’m Dr. Connagher and you’re Miss Jackson.  We’ll get to know each other as professor and student.  I won’t say inappropriate things–like how much I want to squeeze your ass and haul you into my lap–and you certainly won’t rub said ass against me.  And that’s the way we’ll behave until you’ve turned in your final and I’ve turned in your grade.”

She blew out her breath on a long, mournful sigh that made him chuckle.  “I never thought I’d actually look forward to finals week.”

“You and me both, darlin’.”