The notes and brainstorming I got yesterday were terrific.  I finished the scene with Dharman last night, and then thought I’d just whip out a few sections on the Keldari, specifically their devalki.  I mean, I know, loosely, what happened, but I’ve never written it down.  Couldn’t be that hard.  Right? 

Er.  I might have been mistaken.

I’m not happy with this section at all.  The language of the beginning has the right cadence and feel of “prophesy” that I want, but the rest…well, it sucks.  I “told” the whole thing and lost the sing-song quality of story I was shooting for.  And you know what?  That’s okay.  I’ve got the bones down.  Now this section needs some serious revision.  Honestly, it will probably be rewritten from scratch.  It may not even be “included” in the final story — but likely it will be told by one character as a fireside sort of story.  It’s a legend that fits inside this story and DIRECTLY impacts how I need to resolve the ending.  Crucial stuff.  But it sure is hard and I’m definitely not happy with it yet.

Word Count:  1003

NaNo Total:  15,578 16,227

Rewrote this morning’s section (no change to word count reflected; new section is actually a bit shorter).  Yes, I know this isn’t the time for revision, but NaNoWriMo or not, this is a story I fully intend to polish and submit to my publisher, and I’d rather fix major issues now than wait until later.  It’s still not perfect, but it’s better. 

Then I wrote the next section for the antagonist, only 649 words but some lovely wicked stuff. 

Snippet:

The Gods have many face and many names yet one eternal truth remains:  love is the greatest gift of all, and the greatest sacrifice.  In every age and every country, They consign Their Chosen to manifest Their hearts’ desire in the world, that all people may bear witness.

Love’s sacrifice conquers even the Blackest Heart of Shadow.

There’s no other word to describe it.  It scares the hell out of me when it happens.  It’s so frickin’ PERFECT.  I mean, I couldn’t have planned this.  I didn’t, I swear.  I actually had a lot of this wrong years ago when I first began jotting down notes for where I wanted Shannari’s story to go.  I still had a lot of this wrong in my head until just a few minutes ago.

I said the other day that Return to Shanhasson would be where Blood and Fire collide.  Gah, even then, I didn’t know how true that statement was.  I missed it.  It was sitting there, staring at me, waiting for me to finally notice it and then WHAMMO, I’m sitting here at the Evil Day Job frantically working on a real deadline and now my mouth is hanging open, my mind filled images so real, so frightening, so magnificent, I can’t even put it into words.

Little clues.

• the Keldari oil isn’t “caco” scented as I wrote it.  Scent is very important in this series — and this was a deliberate ploy that I missed entirely and must correct.  This oil could only be sandalwood.
• A certain new character that is not yet on page is even more important than I ever thought.  I had his heritage completely wrong, although I knew he was neither from the Green Lands nor Sha’Kae al’Dan.  So close, but I missed it by a mile until now.  Dharman is going to DESPISE him and justly so, and yet…
• The unnamed antagonist is exactly who I thought he was, but he’s not, and this is the big, big chance for me to pull off the reverse of the theme:  Even the blackest Shadow can be redeemed through love. 
• This is going to add a TON of suspense as the midway to end scenes play out, because even now, I’m not really sure if the antagonist can do this.  Seriously.  I. Do. Not. Know. How. To. Pull. This. Off.  But I must.  Because…
• I need to write out the original devalki that cursed the Keldari because damn it all to the Three Hells, that story is playing out now, again, and I can only make it RIGHT this time, if I know how the original story went WRONG.
• I need to know what happens in the partially-plotted Keldari novella “Given In Fire” and drop a few select hints there for where this is all going.  As if I don’t have enough to do…

And none of this was in my original outline.  Vulkar help me, I think I’ve got another 120K story in the works here….

As promised, I sat down last night with pen and paper and wrote out the Shanhasson emotional arc and themes.  The series theme:

Love, the greatest gift of all, and the greatest sacrifice.

I wrote down the lesson from Rose, how Shannari learns to love her warrior and what that means.  I wrote the lesson down from Road, how one paid the greatest sacrifice of all for love and still walks in her dreams.  What she had to do on the Great Seal at Dalden Bay–how it took not one or two but four bonds to break Shadow’s hold on the earth.  Now, she stands in Shanhasson as High Queen and the darkest, grimmest hour of her life looms ahead.

Some of last night’s scene will remain; parts will move to her emotional upheaval after the turnning point coming up, and then some of it will likely be moved to the end as the final lesson of the book and series as a whole.  I’ve been laying this groundwork down from word one, day one, in Rose.  Blessed Lady above, why have you forsaken me?   She’s going to find out that turmoil and distress was nothing, nothing at all. 

I picked up the scene today and shifted POV.  I tried Rhaekhar’s, and then I tried Dharman’s.  Not sure whose will work best in the end, but I can fix that later. 

Word count so far: 1275. Finished this section with another 298 words = 1573.  Handwrote some INCREDIBLE notes over lunch.

NaNoWriMo total:  14277 14575

Snippet:

“I am not the only warrior who loves you,” Khul reminded her gently.  “I am not the only warrior who wishes he could carry you away to safety and never let you fight another kae’don, risking your life for outlanders who know nothing of the cost.”

“Gregar–”

Dharman stiffened, his shoulders shaking with rage and hurt.  He would have wheeled and strode away, if only he were free to do so, yet honor and his love chained him to her side, even when she wounded his heart.

“Oh, Dharman,” she whispered softly.

Well, it’s back to the Evil Day Job today.  No, I don’t feel like I had a four-day weekend, not when I got up at 5:00 three of those days.  But I’m happy with my progress.  It was necessary to get ahead a little, because now, it’s crunch time until my next day of vacation (Tuesday, Wednesday next week).  My schedule for the rest of this week will be NaNo (Return to Shanhasson) dark and early, and squeeze in whatever I can for Revision Xibalba at night.

Today:  Gulp, only 771 words this morning.  Up a bit late, and I signed on for work early to sort through all my e-mails, messages, meetings, etc. that have tumbled into my inbox since last Friday.  That’s why I needed a cushion going into the work week.  Now I’m horrified at exactly how long it took me to figure out how to spell cushion.  Must be tireder than I thought!

I have good news and bad news.  Good:  I got another 1372 words tonight.  The bad news:  I’m sort of stuck.  I need to make myself write down the BIG THEME for this book.  I know the overall story arc and theme for the trilogy, but I’ve tackled it from various angles in the two previous books.  I know the EVENT that drives the conflict for this story, but I need to get the emotional conflict nailed.  I vaguely know it, but this scene suddenly brought it all to the forefront.  Shannari is facing a decision.  Her whole world hangs in the balance.  I know what her choice is, ultimately, but I need her to grow from it naturally to the conclusion of the story, and I don’t know that I pinpointed exactly what that lesson is for this particular book.

This requires my notebook.  I wrote a lot of deep stuff in this scene, but it may not stay.  It may need to move to the END of the book after she suffers awhile.  NaNoWriMo toal:  13002

Snippet:

“Poor Khul.  Perhaps I should bring an extra vial of that oil home with me in order to make it up to you.”

Leather creaking as he leaned down, he stroked his thumb across her lips and whispered, “Do so.  I believe the promise I made to you was perfectly clear.”

She swallowed hard and refused to sneak a quick peek at her Blood she knew stood at her back.  “Are you sure that’s a promise you’re willing to keep?”

“Absolutely.”  He laughed softly, still stroking her lips.  “Sal offered to let you eat him up.  Let’s see if he survives.”

I have two sections (different POVs) in progress, so I thought I’d do a short snippet from each.

The first is a brand new POV that I hadn’t planned on, but works perfectly.  All caps is the Great Lord of Shadow, who’s speaking to His most faithful servant.

NO ONE WILL BREAK HER BETTER THAN YOU.  IF YOU ARE WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE, YOU WILL BE REBORN KELDARI THIS TIME.

Something like love and devotion poured through him, although it was blackest night and smelled of rotting flesh.  There was no greater praise from the Great Lord.  He’d never hoped to be given this last, most important task of all.  :I will pay any price to taste her sweet blood and drag her into Your Shadow.  What of her barbarian husband?:

Shrieking laughter crashed through his skull like boulders tumbling from the highest mountain.  THE HORSE KING WILL NOT LIVE FOREVER.

 

Now this one is a bit longer, but you’ll see why. There really wasn’t a good place to break it. And well, I didn’t really want to break it. 

“We’ve never been separated, not since you nearly died in that foul cur’s prison.” 

“I know,” she whispered, fighting tears.  “I’ll follow you as quickly as possible.”

Rhaekhar sighed heavily, and she knew she’d won this kae’don.  Yet she couldn’t be pleased, not at the defeated slant to his shoulders and the worry creasing his brow.  “You must always keep the Blood near you.  I want at least these two touching you at all times.”

“Even at night?”  Sal asked, tossing his hair back over his shoulder. 

That little action never ceased to draw her attention to him, the long fall of silk drawing her eyes like a moth to flame.  Yes, flame was appropriate.  His hair was the color of a fiery sunset, and he wore it longer than ever.  Loose of any braids or ties, his hair fell to mid-thigh, longer, even than the red cloth wrapped about his hips.

“Even at night,” Khul agreed, arching an eyebrow at her opened mouth.  “How many times have assassins tried to sneak into our bedchamber, na’lanna?  What if they begin to lay in wait beneath the bed, or in a closet, or even the bath?”

Dharman snapped his fingers, and two of the lesser Blood immediately trotted about the room, searching every nook and cranny.

“Put one of them before you.  Sal, I think.  You can use his hair as a blanket.” Rhaekhar whispered, letting his voice go husky, his eyes molten gold but not with anger this time.  “Take Dharman behind you to guard your back, as Gregar did.  With two wrapped around you, no one will ever touch you with a blade.  Will they, na’lanna?”

Up early this morning before church to ensure I got a good start before the family (and laundry) intervenes.  I’m still searching for the perfect playlist, but these are the songs currently playing, some old favorites that worked for the first two books in this trilogy; others on a trial basis.

• Unchained Melody by Heart
• I Didn’t Want to Need You by Heart
• Love Hurts by Incubus
• Sweet Sacrifice by Evanescence
• Kiss From A Rose by Seal
• (Everything I Do) I Do It For You by Bryan Adams
• Haunted by Evanescence
• Make This Go On Forever by Snow Patrol
• Making Love Out of Nothing At All by Air Supply

Word count so far:

• Today: 1802
• Total:  4599

Snippet (which should be especially meaningful to those who’ve read Road to Shanhasson):

How could he think to protect her with his blood pounding so hard his skull threatened to crack open?  She arched beneath him, and Dharman nearly died at her soft cry of desire.  Tightening his arms around her, he breathed the words against her lips.  “At last.”

Stayed up until midnight and wrote hard for just over an hour.  2,043 words.  The first day(s) the NaNoWriMo site is usually down or really slow, so I won’t try to update my official word count until later. 

Each day, I’ll include a line or small snippet from my project, Return to Shanhasson.  This is the opening line, subject to at least a dozen revisions.

Blessed Lady above, if these vipers are my allies, then I am already doomed to Shadow.

Final word count for day 1: 2797